Fuck My Life :(

dubloke · Post by **dubloke** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:07 pm

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

edit:

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

dubloke · Post by **dubloke** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:18 pm

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

This site is gold!!!

-dubson- · Post by **-dubson-** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:21 pm

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class i did the same thing to him, he broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team, nobody laughed. FML

Today, I took a massive dump at work and proceeded to clog an industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she proceeded to run out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

en ami · Post by **en ami** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:59 am

-Dubson- wrote:
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

[/quote]

baaahahaha

dubloke · Post by **dubloke** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:34 pm

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so i go to skip it but accidently unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

Listening to Kinky maybe

elbe · Post by **elbe** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:06 pm

Got to be a favourit so far

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

magma · Post by **magma** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 4:09 pm

Dubloke wrote:
Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

Ouuuuuucccchhh!

999 · Post by **999** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:02 pm

theyre all written in the exact same style and format

im thinkin total bullshit

ryusaki · Post by **ryusaki** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:56 pm

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

thump rat · Post by **thump rat** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 3:08 pm

Dubloke wrote:
Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so i go to skip it but accidently unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
Listening to Kinky maybe

This was me... I was listening to Data - Blow (remix) off the metro area fabric mix :S

Fuck My Life :(

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