TELL ME A JOKE

pk- · Post by **pk-** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:08 pm

a woman goes to the doctor complaining about odd twinges around her stomach. doctor runs a few tests and gets her to come back a week later.

"well," he says, when she comes back, "I think it's safe to say you're in for quite a few sleepless nights and plenty of nappy changing!"

"oh my gosh!" exclaims the woman "you mean I'm pregnant?"

"no," replies the doctor "I mean you've got bowel cancer"

pk- · Post by **pk-** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:18 pm

little Tommy goes over to little Amy's house to play one day.

about 2 or 3 hours after he dropped him off, little tommy's dad opens the door to little Amy's mum, holding her tearful daughter's hand and little tommy by the scruff of the neck

"Your son's not right!" she shouts "I don't want him coming over to play any more!"

"Why, what's happened?!" replies the shocked father

"They were playing doctors and nurses!" exclaims the outraged mother

"Ah," says the father, "Well, they're at that age when they're bound to be sexually inquisitive, and..."

the mother cuts him off "Sexually inquisitive?! He's removed her fucking appendix!"

faust.dtc · Post by **faust.dtc** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:23 pm

Firky wrote:Isn't this the "cut and paste a joke off sikipedia" thread? :p

Lol Guilty as charged...

collige · Post by **collige** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:46 pm

A baby seal walks into a club....

ELLFIVEDEE · Post by **ELLFIVEDEE** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:13 pm

collige wrote:A baby seal walks into a club....

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:27 am

q_steppa wrote:ok, christmas day and the royal family are bored, so camilla says lets play 20 questions. wat shes thinking of is a black mans cock.

so prince charles ask's "can it fit in the breadbin?" and camilla says yes.

princess diane ask's "can i put it in my mouth?" and camilla says yes

so the queen says "is it a black mans cock?"

I nearly pissed...

BLZDub · Post by **BLZDub** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:48 am

How long does it take to fry a baby?

Don't know, was too busy wanking.

(A gem from last years Bangface)

escobar satan · Post by **escobar satan** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:37 pm

I'm going to maintain my standing as lude, crude, and socially unacceptable...

What's better than fucking a 5 yr. old girl in the ass?

Nothing.

bagelator · Post by **bagelator** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:30 am

deamonds wrote:how did the girl know her mum was on the rag?

her brothers cock tasted funny

youve prolly heard that, havent got many new 1s

fail.

how did the BOY know his SISTER was on the blob?

his DAD's dick tasted of BLOOD.

it's far more offensive.

bagelator · Post by **bagelator** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:31 am

escobar satan wrote:I'm going to maintain my standing as lude, crude, and socially unacceptable...

What's better than fucking a 5 yr. old girl in the ass?

Nothing.

evil . i laughed though.

rectaldubz · Post by **rectaldubz** » Mon May 11, 2009 11:27 pm

dirty joke just for you stench:

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.

The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."

The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up.

oski · Post by **oski** » Tue May 12, 2009 12:22 am

a man walks into a bar...

OW

karmacazee · Post by **karmacazee** » Tue May 12, 2009 3:32 am

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners

SK3W3R · Post by **SK3W3R** » Tue May 12, 2009 8:58 am

whats black and screams?

stevie wonder awnsering the iron.

whats the difference between maddy and a patch of grass?

about six feet.

did · Post by **did** » Tue May 12, 2009 10:56 am

pk- wrote:little Tommy goes over to little Amy's house to play one day.

about 2 or 3 hours after he dropped him off, little tommy's dad opens the door to little Amy's mum, holding her tearful daughter's hand and little tommy by the scruff of the neck

"Your son's not right!" she shouts "I don't want him coming over to play any more!"

"Why, what's happened?!" replies the shocked father

"They were playing doctors and nurses!" exclaims the outraged mother

"Ah," says the father, "Well, they're at that age when they're bound to be sexually inquisitive, and..."

the mother cuts him off "Sexually inquisitive?! He's removed her fucking appendix!"

one of the funniest jokes ive ever heard

superslim · Post by **superslim** » Tue May 12, 2009 12:03 pm

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven Hawking after a house fire!!!

Whats the best thing about fucking twenty five year olds???

There is twenty of them!!!

groucho_marxx · Post by **groucho_marxx** » Tue May 12, 2009 12:15 pm

osky · Post by **osky** » Tue May 12, 2009 12:19 pm

groucho_marxx wrote:

hahahahaahaha

TELL ME A JOKE

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