http://omegle.com/

[Jubz]

Stranger: HELLO
Stranger: I AM FROM THE FUTURE
You: fyt da powa
Stranger: ROW ROW
You: in da footcha
You: wow
You: wots it lyk3
You: ?
Stranger: IT'S A LOT SMELLIER THAN YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT
You: so's ur mum
Stranger: MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEAAAAAADDDD!!

fun 4 a sec lyk.

[djake]

You: dubstep?
Stranger: wubwubwub
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

brilliant!!!!

[s.i.e]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heya
You: heya
Stranger: how are things on your end?
You: ghood
Stranger: ghlad to hear
You: lol
Stranger: oh, i got ya on that one
Stranger: where ya calling from?
You: eastern madagascar
Stranger: for real?
You: yup
You: stranded here with my iphone
Stranger: i don't want to call BS, but what is the nearest city?
You: there is not one
Stranger: town?
You: nope, remote island
Stranger: okay, why are you there?
You: zoooligy trip
Stranger: hmmm
You: studying wasps
Stranger: are you seeing all manner of creatures?
Stranger: there ya go
You: yeh, swimming lizards and shit
Stranger: sounds interesting
Stranger: some fieldwork, then
You: no pussy tho
You: wounded
Stranger: well, maybe there's a brothel somewhere
You: on an unihabited island?
Stranger: oh, it's not totally uninhabited, is it?
Stranger: i only know it from playing RISK
You: yeh, only me and my bag carrier
You: and he is like 40 yrs old
Stranger: now you are bullshitting me
Stranger: okay, what's his name
Stranger: QUICK
You: stefandro
You: i think thats how u spell it
Stranger: ok, i believe you
Stranger: well, when are you finishing up your research?
You: 3 months
Stranger: take a vacation. go to budapest and score some ladies
You: i get some people visit me in 23 days
Stranger: hey: all for the good of Science, right!?
Stranger: have them bring some porno
You: good idea
Stranger: "Need batteries and porno"
Stranger: that's rough, but they you gotta sacrifice
You: a portable dvd player with solar pael should do
Stranger: how the hell is the iphone linking to the net?
You: gps
Stranger: so have you found the cure for cancer out there yet?
Stranger: or just studying the mating habits of wasps
You: in snails yes but not in humans
Stranger: there ya go
Stranger: alrighto: good luck!
You: cheers
Stranger: cheers
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[yong]

You: smoke weed every day
Stranger: guuurd
You: wat
Stranger: u a lad?
You: yes i am
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Pallms]

Stranger: hi Stranger
You: Hi Stranger!
Stranger: where are you from
You: mars
You: you?
Stranger: i am from nigeria. in which country is mars?

[yong]

You: SALUTATIONS
You: I AM FROM CHINA
Stranger: HEY
You: DO YOU RIKEY PREENUS?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[djake]

Stranger: hi Stranger
You: Hi Stranger!
Stranger: where are you from
You: mars
You: you?
Stranger: i am from nigeria. in which country is mars?

i accually laughed out loud

[canby]

Stranger: are u from toronto?
You: no toranto
Stranger: wheres tha
Stranger: t
You: its a small town on the west coast of sacily
Stranger: nice
You: yeah that warm mediteranian water sure is nice
Stranger: im originally mixed egyptian and italian
You: oh your an ityptian
Stranger: ha yea somethin like that
Stranger: sexy would be the word
You: i think goats are pretty sexy
You: would i class you as sexy?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: where the pic at
You: just be patient im waiting for the poleroid to develope
Stranger: ok

i told him i was a 21 year old woman and hes been waiting 20 minutes for me to send him my picture lol tard

[yong]

You: BROCK OUT
Stranger: _/_____\_____________\____________/____\
|_______|_____________\__________|______|
|_______`._____________|_________|_______:
.\________|____________|_________\|_______|
_\_______|_/_________/__\\\___--___\\_______:
__\______\/_____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|
___\______\_-~___________________~-_\____|
____\______\_________.----------.________\|___|
______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|
_______\___.__C____)_.you just_(_(____>__|__/
_______/\_|___C_____)/__lost_\_(_____>__|_/
______/_/\|___C_____)___the__|__(___>___/__\
_____|___(___C_____)\_game_/__//___/_/_____\
_____|____\__|_____\\_________//__(__/______|
____|_\____\____)___`----___--'______________|
____|__\______________\_______/__________/_|
____|_____________/____|_____|__\___________|
You: N-TYPE INVADING
Stranger: COCK OUT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[canby]

After waiting for half an hour for my Polaroid to develop

You: ………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
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……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : Neutral ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
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………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
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………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
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………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
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……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
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……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
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……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ \\ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘
You: did that scan properly?
Stranger: not funny bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[canby]

Stranger: You encounter a random Stranger, What do you do?
You: fight them
Stranger: them?
Stranger: What the fuck
Stranger: ENGLISH DO YOU SPEAK IT?
You: him her it they
Stranger: A stranger
You: no comprendes
Stranger: SINGULAR
Stranger: hablo espanol
Stranger: como estas
You: homo erotica
Stranger: no sé
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[s.i.e]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hell-o
You: pink or brown?
Stranger: Black
You: not u again?
Stranger: Me who?
You: thats exactly what the last one said
Stranger: hahaha
You: it is u isnt it?
Stranger: Well, it wasn't me
Stranger: No
You: how do i know that?
Stranger: You don't
Stranger: That's why it's an anonimous chat
You: up or down?
Stranger: Both
You: wrong
You: or
You: wright
Stranger: I answered both cause this remembers me a song
You: sing it for me
Stranger: ok
Stranger: Close the door and take the stairs.
Up or down? Ups and downs,
well don't pretend you've never been there.
You kiss me like an overdramatic
actor who's starving for work,
with one last shot to make it happen.
Stranger: You've won the role, you've played your part,
you've been cordially invited. But I'm not impressed,
and I'm definitely not excited,
because the film runs a shallow budget,
and the writer's subject script isn't any deeper.
So dive right in...
Stranger: Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
hey you, who are you kidding?
Don't quit 'til 47,
then we'll turn it up, and we'll play a little faster.
You: WOW
You: that sounds good
Stranger: The name is Slow Down, from The Academy Is...
You: is it on itunes?
Stranger: Don't know
You: how do u have it?
Stranger: I downloaded by limewire
You: ouch
You: u steal music?
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: We all do it in Brazil
Stranger: And it's not agains the law
You: no record shops in brazil then?
Stranger: Yes, but to put in my iPod is better this way
Stranger: I would have to buy hundreds of CDs
You: or use itunes
Stranger: Do I have to pay for iTunes?
You: probly why the economy has crashed
Stranger: Well, our economy here in Brazil is very good
Stranger: Where are you from?
You: UK
You: shit here
Stranger: I've been there last year
You: anywhere nice?
Stranger: Just London. I went in a tour trough Europe.
You: where else did u visit in europe?
Stranger: France, Spain, Italy and Switzerland.
You: drug runnin?
You: LOL
Stranger: Drug running? Whadda ya mean?
You: very steriotypical attempt at humour
Stranger: Ah
You: was i close tho, judging by ur reaction
Stranger: It's the normal tour
You: music?
Stranger: I like rock, pop and electronic
You: music tour? i meant
Stranger: Ah, no
Stranger: I have to go now
Stranger: nice to meet you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[canby]

Stranger: you ever seen the blowfly girl story?
Stranger: read it, rather?
You: no but i hope its about dirty sex in sewers
Stranger: its about a girl who puts rotted maggoty meat in her lady bits and holds it in there for days, letting the maggots take over her body.
You: whats the moral of this story?
Stranger: Hrm. dont put maggots in your vagina unless you want to get toxic shock syndrome?
Stranger: or... Maggots held in the vagina for days will produce multiple orgasms.
You: well i havent got a vagina, would i have to post them in my penis one at a time?
Stranger: hrm. yes. with a chopstick to push them in.
Stranger: though they tend to burrow nicely from what i've heard.
You: whats the optimum amount? i can usually fit around 350 in my one pocket i dont want to have to buy more than a pocketful
Stranger: hrm. well if you've no experience with it, I'd start with only 3.. at least then you can squeeze the base of your penis and work your way up to push them out.
Stranger: but if youd like to jump right in to the advanced level, just stuff 'em in till no more will fit.
You: what about it i masturbate furiously for several days to empty my balls of semen, do you think then that i could stem a regular flow of maggots into my now empty balls as to fit more in
Stranger: hrm. not sure if that would work, but you could certainly try.
You: i would like to fit a pocketfull in if possible
Stranger: but what a waste to jsut masturbate furiously. you should find a herpes ridden toothless whore and fuck her mouth. it would be spectacular.
You: masturbate sensibly?
Stranger: could do that too if thats what suits your fancy.
You: well its your call
Stranger: hmm, well in that case, go ahead and masturbate sensibly.
Stranger: if you do it too furiously your poor penis will be rubbed raw.. and then what good will it be to me?
You: you seem like quite the mathematician, how long will it take me to continuously (but sensibly) wank my balls dry?
Stranger: hrm. I'd say probably about a day.. but considering your vocabulary, I suspect you are from somewhere across the pond, where it is 5 hours later than here.. so that means you must have been wanking already.. meaning in reality.. it would only be just about another 6 hours or so.
You: a sensible 6 hours, the tortoise and the hare
Stranger: indeed.
Stranger: well, good sir, it has been a pleasure. There are few that have been able to meet me head to head in such types of conversation. I have to go now. Time to go bust my ass at the gym.
Stranger: I wish you well in your sensible wanking.
Stranger: ~_^
You: and you the same
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[beerz]

yo wtf is "the game"?

[s.i.e]

yo wtf is "the game"?

i had someone explain it to me before, it is pure bollox

[s.i.e]

the game

A game, The sole object of which is to not remember that you are playing it. As soon as you remember that it exists, you have lost and must start again.

Oh bugger, I've lost the game!

The game

If you think about The Game, you lose The Game.

When you lose, you must tell everyone near you.

You can not stop playing The Game once informed of the rules. However, the game is to be sold, not to be told.

When you hear someone lose the game, then you lose, hate the player.

The only way to win The Game is to really, honestly, forget about The Game. This rarely happens so basically you win but will never know you win because as soon as you do, you lose.

And yes, you just lost. So stop thinking about it if you want to win, or you're screwed.

Contrary to popular opinion, hating the game is not okay. You should hate the player.

[beerz]

the game

A game, The sole object of which is to not remember that you are playing it. As soon as you remember that it exists, you have lost and must start again.

Oh bugger, I've lost the game!

The game

If you think about The Game, you lose The Game.

When you lose, you must tell everyone near you.

You can not stop playing The Game once informed of the rules. However, the game is to be sold, not to be told.

When you hear someone lose the game, then you lose, hate the player.

The only way to win The Game is to really, honestly, forget about The Game. This rarely happens so basically you win but will never know you win because as soon as you do, you lose.

And yes, you just lost. So stop thinking about it if you want to win, or you're screwed.

Contrary to popular opinion, hating the game is not okay. You should hate the player.

thats so unbelievably gay

[canby]

Stranger: girls dont like me what do i do
You: become a girl yourself
You: then they will like you
Stranger: o
Stranger: but
Stranger: only as a friend
You: just chop it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[jiba]

Stranger: heyz
You: yo!
Stranger: wazzup?
You: deep fried spinach
You: tasty shit
Stranger: lol
You: like seaweed
Stranger: i hear you
Stranger: in my country
You: but not quite as salty
Stranger: i have deep fried cauliflower
You: what country?
Stranger: good stuff
You: sounds sweet
Stranger: papa new guinea
You: no way! my olds lived there for 10 years
You: Port Morsby
You: madang
Stranger: haha
You: and some other spots
Stranger: quite close to where i live
You: back in the 70s
Stranger: so i guess you dont live here now huh?
You: setting up fishing quotas and other stuff
You: nah, in New Zealand again
You: I was never there
Stranger: owh
Stranger: how are the sheep?
You: pretty wooley
You: haha
Stranger: never been there
You: how are you rabid dogs?
Stranger: so is it really an epidemic?
Stranger: rabid dogs?
You: depends which part of the country you are from
You: if from the South Island, then yes, it is an epidemic
You: dirty rotten sheep shaggers
You: especially from Christchurch
You: What do you do in PNG?
Stranger: i make shrunken heads
You: sweet, from the natives? do you hunt them, stab them with spears and shit/
Stranger: i know it sounds scary and stuff but once you're in the business it kinda grows on you
Stranger: well the only way you can make it is to get the heads yourself
Stranger: and no other hunter will give you theirs so
You: I'll bet, will they shrink your head in rememberance of the great head shrinker that you are?
Stranger: im the best in my country
Stranger: so when i die
Stranger: i want them to burn my head
You: is it your country? or were you born else where/
Stranger: somewhere else
Stranger: well not quite
You: sweet, burnt head, the cannibals will love the rest of your dead body
Stranger: you know where is milne bay?
Stranger: or ol mil as they call it?
You: no, but it kind of sounds australian
Stranger: well its a small island east of Papa
Stranger: was born there
You: I see. Small population
Stranger: thats why i sailed inland
Stranger: more hunts
Stranger: XD
You: crucial
You: on a homemade raft
Stranger: ....
Stranger: we're not that backward you know
You: bult out of you ancestors bones?
Stranger: ....
You: hahaha
Stranger: you insulting me?
You: no, just joking
Stranger: dont make me sail to your new zealand and get me a new head...
You: I would be a prized head that is for sure
You: four foot dreadlocks swinging in the wind
You: natives love that shit
You: do you like dubstep?
You: OMEGLE ME THAT
Stranger: ...
Stranger: what?
You: it is a style of music
You: wub wub wub bass line
Stranger: never heard of it
You: check it out
You: google dubstep
Stranger: why?
You: because music is a beautiful thing
Stranger: music?
You: sound, instruments, banging of drums

Stranger: the only banging i know is during the hunt
You: hitting sticks together to make a tune
Stranger: to play it other times is blasphemy
You: yes, hunting music
Stranger: but its a signal
You: dubstep would make great hunting music
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: ...
Stranger: ill tell my chief
You: wub wub wub there is a native in the bush, wub wub wub
You: lets capture him wub wub wobble
You: wub wub shrink his head, wub wub
You: What is your chiefs name?
Stranger: Aagbal
Stranger: Chief Aagbal
Stranger: heard of him?
You: and what is Chief Aagbal having for dinner?
You: no, have you heard of Chief Mala?
Stranger: some produce from his farm
Stranger: why?
Stranger: there is no Chief Mala...
You: http://www.myspace.com/malamystikz
Stranger: ....
Stranger: is that YOUR chief?
You: he is Chief Mala, of the Digital Mystikz tribe
Stranger: i have not heard of your tribe
You: listen to the hunting music
Stranger: are you sure New zealend have tribes?
You: Bury Da Bwoy
Stranger: i mean the only thing you can hunt there is sheep
You: We have a lot of Maori tribes
Stranger: but they dont hunt
Stranger: so by our definition they are NOT tribes
You: Oh yes they do
You: Bounty of the forest
In the forest, birds were important as a supply of protein. Before the arrival of Europeans, New Zealand had no land mammals to use for meat except the introduced kurī (dog) and kiore (rat).
For many tribes, the main fowling season in autumn was a vital part of life. A variety of birds were taken – kererū (wood pigeons), kākā (parrots) and tūī were particularly important. They were often preserved in their own fat. Feathers of different birds were also used for adornment and making cloaks.
You: pretty tribal to me
Stranger: hmph
Stranger: but you hunt ANIMALS
Stranger: not MAN
Stranger: sorry but i think your tribes are weak
Stranger: your Chief Mala is weak
You: Maori cannibalism was widespread throughout New Zealand until the mid 1800s but has largely been ignored in history books, says the author of a new book released this week.

Paul Moon said his new book, This Horrid Practice, looked at the Maori tradition of eating each other in what was a particularly violent society before Europeans arrived in New Zealand.

Cannibalism lasted for several hundred years until the 1830s although there were a few isolated cases after that, said Professor Moon, a Pakeha history professor at Te Ara Poutama, the Maori Development Unit at the Auckland University of Technology.

He also said infanticide was also widely practised because tribes wanted men to be warriors and mothers often killed their female daughters by smothering them or pushing a finger through the soft tissue of the skull to kill them immediately.
Stranger: i see...

[drokkr]

You: oi
Stranger: nah i cocked it
You: did you
Stranger: big time
You: how many times
Stranger: it was right ther you know
You: ya
You: show me where he touched you
Stranger: oh well thats circle jerks for you
You: nice
You: i like them
You: is the riot on yet?
Stranger: am i missing it
You: well if you don't know if it's it then you are
Stranger: shiit
You: london
Stranger: scotland
You: riots for better beer
You: and money
Stranger: cool
Stranger: good cause
You: damn straight
You: do you like sheep
Stranger: no in that way
You: what way?
Stranger: sexual way
Stranger: its more of a love thing
You: i did not mention anything sexual
Stranger: i just assumed you know its common
You: youre common
You: working class filth
Stranger: i would be goo in a riot then wouldnt i
Stranger: good
You: steal any cars yet today?
You: you could drive down
Stranger: no you
You: crash it into some coppers
Stranger: i like your thinkin
You: ok you steal it i'll drive it
Stranger: you cant drive
You: get something nice
Stranger: a pinto
You: i'm good a golf but my drive is a little off
Stranger: swings to the left like your dick
You: did your mum tell you that?
Stranger: so seriously are you a protester
You: my religon has nothing to do with this conversation
Stranger: if you fell in a barrell of tits youd come up sucking your thumb
You: with your mothers hand up my arse
You: and my cock in her mouth
Stranger: thats nothing new she usually takes 5
You: i know
Stranger: and she says you have a pecker anyway
You: up to my elbow in the woman last week
You: i like weetabix
Stranger: you were a mistake your dad had a wet dream and your mum rolled onto it
Stranger: with lots of sugar
Stranger: fanny craddock
You: your mum shags your dad with a frozen dog every second tuesday
Stranger: he fuckin loves it
You: he does
You: she keeps telling me on the wednesday
Stranger: ha ha
You: ah ha
Stranger: i see what you did there
You: good band them
You: take on me
You: take me home
Stranger: yeah its old skool
Stranger: seen the video
You: i made the video
Stranger: yor mommas in it
You: she is
You: looking good too
You: your mum failed the audition
Stranger: this is pretty funny
You: ugly cow
You: she kept falling over too
Stranger: whats coming here
You: me
You: cock and locked
Stranger: again
You: nearly there now
Stranger: tickly bit?
You: threading water now
You: holding back
Stranger: and s[aff
Stranger: spaff
You: dont think i can for much longer
You: i have a jar full of you mothers tears here
Stranger: you came on yourself
You: i'll come into that
You: cumming now
You: there
You: i'll throw it in her face on wednesday
Stranger: the tears you collected from when she cried laughing at the size of your cock
You: tears of fear
You: some women laugh some cry
You: a nervous reaction
Stranger: and your pubeless little balls
You: then they get it
You: i shave them
You: the seem small compared to my cock
You: im off for a riot this has been fun
Stranger: your dad came on the banister and your mum slid down it in the morning thats how you wrere made
Stranger: see you
You: speak to you on thursday
Your conversational partner has disconnected.