I don't actually remember whether it was or not. In my memory it was fucking nuclear, but it was the sound above anything. It sounded like a jelly going through the sound barrier!Defekt wrote:haha, I'd love to have been there, was it a stinker?Magma wrote: your buttocks....
*CUE LOUDEST FART I HAVE EVER HEARD*
Your most embarrasing moment...
Forum rules
Please read and follow this sub-forum's specific rules listed HERE, as well as our sitewide rules listed HERE.
Link to the Secret Ninja Sessions community ustream channel - info in this thread
Please read and follow this sub-forum's specific rules listed HERE, as well as our sitewide rules listed HERE.
Link to the Secret Ninja Sessions community ustream channel - info in this thread
Meus equus tuo altior est
"Let me eat when I'm hungry, let me drink when I'm dry.
Give me dollars when I'm hard up, religion when I die."
"Let me eat when I'm hungry, let me drink when I'm dry.
Give me dollars when I'm hard up, religion when I die."
nowaysj wrote:I wholeheartedly believe that Michael Brown's mother and father killed him.
I'm about six years old and standing outside the shop with my mum when I piss my self.Does mummy dearest rush home with her little lamb to get him dried off and changed?,no she decides it'd be cool to take a photo right now[one which will be brought out at every major family occasion for the next 20 years or so].What's cute about a six year old boy knees bent ,legs crossed,pained expression on face vainly trying to cover up the ever widening wet patch emanating from his crotch? 
.Yeah you won't be laughing anymore bitch when I finally bill you for all those years of therapy. 
.Yeah you won't be laughing anymore bitch when I finally bill you for all those years of therapy. Happiness is a warm Eccles cake
When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers 
to hide my embarrassment I then said summin really cheesey like 'maybe you could give me a hand'...she didnt and it only added to my embarrassment. I dont know if she ever told my dad but nobody ever mentioned it again... 
to hide my embarrassment I then said summin really cheesey like 'maybe you could give me a hand'...she didnt and it only added to my embarrassment. I dont know if she ever told my dad but nobody ever mentioned it again... Current frontrunner, IMHO.FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers
Meus equus tuo altior est
"Let me eat when I'm hungry, let me drink when I'm dry.
Give me dollars when I'm hard up, religion when I die."
"Let me eat when I'm hungry, let me drink when I'm dry.
Give me dollars when I'm hard up, religion when I die."
nowaysj wrote:I wholeheartedly believe that Michael Brown's mother and father killed him.
Also, for some reason, I used to enjoy graffiti-ing innaprorpriate things over the education textbooks I was given when I was in infant school. I used to spend many happy hours with my uncle, drawing massive cocks coming from a ravens groin and leading into anothers beak. Portraits of Henry the VIIIth used to become alot more interesting when the word "tnuc" was written across his forehead, and did you know that on the battlefields of World War 2, the German's used to fly on dragons and shoot fireballs at the English? The black biro scrawn all across the photo of No mans land is just your imagination, trust.
Anyway, one day I came in from school and my mum didn't say anything and gave me 'the look'. Basically, she was pissed. Anyway, I go upstairs and find the book I'd recently been doodling in left open on a page that featured a gigantic phallus and a zebra. On the page next to it, written in red, was the words 'Martin, what is all this?" It was fucking embarassing as hell, and I just chucked the book in the bin where my mum could see it.
Might of been the start of the decline of our relationship.
Anyway, one day I came in from school and my mum didn't say anything and gave me 'the look'. Basically, she was pissed. Anyway, I go upstairs and find the book I'd recently been doodling in left open on a page that featured a gigantic phallus and a zebra. On the page next to it, written in red, was the words 'Martin, what is all this?" It was fucking embarassing as hell, and I just chucked the book in the bin where my mum could see it.
Might of been the start of the decline of our relationship.
Jesu christo that's bad! Could you ever look her in the face again?FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers
That is pretty fuckin bad.Defekt wrote:Jesu christo that's bad! Could you ever look her in the face again?FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers
Dunno how you managed to chat to her after that lolol
Still = WINNER.
“If your chest ain’t rattlin’, it ain’t happenin’”
Firky wrote:I wish my THC sodden memory worked
I was an accomplice in a practical joke that involved me throwing a bucket of water then a bag of flour over someone from an upstairs window. I thought my mate gave me the signal to go for it but the tit was just waving to see if I could see him... and that's when I poured a bucket of water and a bag of flower of some poor woman walking down the street
Yeah, fucking hell mate.Magma wrote:Current frontrunner, IMHO.FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers
My dad and his missus live about 2 minutes from me and ive only been round to his house a few times since because of this. To this day I just cant look her in the face without me thinking its running around in her head about how much of a dirty little boy I was. I did hope and pray that perhaps they would break up afterwards, even though my little sister was about a year old, but 11 years later and they are still together...Defekt wrote:Jesu christo that's bad! Could you ever look her in the face again?FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers
I was in a swimming pool this one time and this kid jumped behind me and grabbed the back of my shorts and ripped the arse off them completely.
My dad was like stop being such a cigarette and just act as normal so I got out of the pool to go down the flume and had to stand in a massive cue with all these girls in bikinis behind me with no arse on my shorts.
My dad was like stop being such a cigarette and just act as normal so I got out of the pool to go down the flume and had to stand in a massive cue with all these girls in bikinis behind me with no arse on my shorts.
Firky wrote:Oh yeah..... job interview:
"Final question, do you smoke?" they asked
"JUST CIGARETTES!" i answers a bit too enthusiastically
"that's what we meant, mr firkles"
HAHAHAHA EPIC!
Ive dropped somethin like that infront of my rents before, coughing up bare and my dads like have you been smokin alot this weekend, I was like "Yeah but only cigarettes" .........
"Thats what I meant"Cue hasty retreat.
“If your chest ain’t rattlin’, it ain’t happenin’”
Firky wrote:I wish my THC sodden memory worked
Haha. When I was about 17, I left a little block of hash in a pair of jeans that my Mum was washing. It obviously fell out in the wash and she found it sitting in the machine afterwards. She took it straight to my brother to ask what it was and he managed to convince her that it was a rock sample (he was doing geology at the time!) and stood with her for about 10 minutes in the kitchen trying to classify it.... "Well, I don't think it's a metal, but it is malleable..."Ham wrote:Firky wrote:Oh yeah..... job interview:
"Final question, do you smoke?" they asked
"JUST CIGARETTES!" i answers a bit too enthusiastically
"that's what we meant, mr firkles"
HAHAHAHA EPIC!
Ive dropped somethin like that infront of my rents before, coughing up bare and my dads like have you been smokin alot this weekend, I was like "Yeah but only cigarettes" .........
Cue hasty retreat.
I think he got given half of it in the end for saving my skin!
Meus equus tuo altior est
"Let me eat when I'm hungry, let me drink when I'm dry.
Give me dollars when I'm hard up, religion when I die."
"Let me eat when I'm hungry, let me drink when I'm dry.
Give me dollars when I'm hard up, religion when I die."
nowaysj wrote:I wholeheartedly believe that Michael Brown's mother and father killed him.
Not just me thenHam wrote:
Ive dropped somethin like that infront of my rents before, coughing up bare and my dads like have you been smokin alot this weekend, I was like "Yeah but only cigarettes" .........
Cue hasty retreat.
But thanks to all of ya.
I've just been creased up in my seat, laughing my head off, tears and all!
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests