Spiders

BNanni · Post by **BNanni** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:03 pm

Magma wrote:
BNanni wrote:
Magma wrote:
It seems to be one of those unspoken truths that most men are SHIT when it comes to spiders... I can do the pint glass/coaster thing these days and I've learnt to tolerate one sitting in the corner of my ceiling (I assume it keeps away flies), but if I saw that thing scuttling around I'd call the fucking Territorial Army.
I thought men were good with spiders Being all macho and everything.
I thought my brother was just being a big girl when he shouted me to get hold of this spider.

I didn't kill this one though, I didn't want spider juice over the cream carpet
It's all a big front. If you want to know how to turn the tables on misogyny, go to London Zoo and let all the critters in the insect house loose. You'll cause a male exclusion zone that covers most of London... before we know it we'd have 90% female MPs, bankers and all the bicycle couriers would have mysteriously started stopping at pedestrian crossings.

Currently today I have learnt how to rid of 90% of the male population in the London area using just insects and started forming a group for cat haters.
Such a productive day for someone with no week day job

faust.dtc · Post by **faust.dtc** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:10 pm

When I was younger and had no irrational fear of them I spent many lazy Sundays playing Spider Thunderdome. This involved cutting a coke bottle in half, piecing the lid, tying a piece of string from it and then dangling a fly or insect from it. We used to then have to collect our own spiders and put them under the bottom of the bottle and make them fight to the death. Or we just threw other insects on to spiders webs which was far easier and took a lot less time but not half as much fun to watch.

::g-sus:: · Post by **::g-sus::** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:12 pm

What a bunch of pansies.

Spiders dont freak me out, but gettin the web on me does. Im tall so when I walk through some trees I cant tell you how many times Ive ended up with a face (and mouth) full of spider webs.

So I guess you lot would shite yourselves if you saw the clock spider in your house:

Oh and when I was in Japan we saw a spider so fucking big that one of my mates actually shot it with an M16.

Banana spider its called. Looks like this but was at least 3 times th size since it was out in the woods.

BNanni · Post by **BNanni** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:13 pm

::G-SUS:: wrote:What a bunch of pansies.

Spiders dont freak me out, but gettin the web on me does. Im tall so when I walk through some trees I cant tell you how many times Ive ended up with a face (and mouth) full of spider webs.

So I guess you lot would shite yourselves if you saw the clock spider in your house:

Oh and when I was in Japan we saw a spider so fucking big that one of my mates actually shot it with an M16.

Banana spider its called. Looks like this but was at least 3 times th size since it was out in the woods.

I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I saw that in my house!
Probably laugh, then slowly go into crying, and shitting my pants

magma · Post by **magma** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:14 pm

I'm so glad I live in England.

::g-sus:: · Post by **::g-sus::** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:19 pm

Magma wrote:I'm so glad I live in England.

Here in Florida we have the brown recluse. Those are nasty little bastards.

Do a Google image search.

Ham · Post by **Ham** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:29 pm

BNanni wrote:
I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I saw that in my house!
Probably laugh, then slowly go into crying, and shitting my pants

Hahahah.

I too used to be good with spiders, used to catch bare joke playin with them then some particularly hench garden spider bit me. Didnt hurt massivly but just instilled quite a fear in me.

I dont shit myself and scream my way out the room, and I can hold a tarantula. I just dont like the way the little fuckers just mizz around semi invisible!!

BNanni · Post by **BNanni** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:38 pm

Ham wrote:
BNanni wrote:
I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I saw that in my house!
Probably laugh, then slowly go into crying, and shitting my pants

Hahahah.

I too used to be good with spiders, used to catch bare joke playin with them then some particularly hench garden spider bit me. Didnt hurt massivly but just instilled quite a fear in me.

I dont shit myself and scream my way out the room, and I can hold a tarantula. I just dont like the way the little fuckers just mizz around semi invisible!!

I can handle spiders upto a certain size e.g. the one I posted a pic of.
But when they are stupidly big, and you can see the hairs on them and the eyes. Thats not right!

When you lay in bed and you see something crawling out the corner of your eye, you look and theres nothing, so just carry on thinking you're going slightly mad.
Next thing you know there is some hench spider crawling on you

That makes me scream and jump up and down like a big girl trying to get it off me.
I would also like to know why at this point I start attacking my self, hitting my chest and arms, when really I should be hitting the spider

Ham · Post by **Ham** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:40 pm

Its just flailing for your life innit!

magma · Post by **magma** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:43 pm

BNanni wrote:
Ham wrote:
BNanni wrote:
I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I saw that in my house!
Probably laugh, then slowly go into crying, and shitting my pants

Hahahah.

I too used to be good with spiders, used to catch bare joke playin with them then some particularly hench garden spider bit me. Didnt hurt massivly but just instilled quite a fear in me.

I dont shit myself and scream my way out the room, and I can hold a tarantula. I just dont like the way the little fuckers just mizz around semi invisible!!
I can handle spiders upto a certain size e.g. the one I posted a pic of.
But when they are stupidly big, and you can see the hairs on them and the eyes. Thats not right!

When you lay in bed and you see something crawling out the corner of your eye, you look and theres nothing, so just carry on thinking you're going slightly mad.
Next thing you know there is some hench spider crawling on you
That makes me scream and jump up and down like a big girl trying to get it off me.
I would also like to know why at this point I start attacking my self, hitting my chest and arms, when really I should be hitting the spider

A friend of mine once caught a fat lip from her boyfriend when he was desperately scrambling out of bed away from a spider. He didn't think to wait for her to move first... practically went straight through her!

Well, that's what they told me anyway. He was probably just getting her to do the ironing.....

hurlingdervish · Post by **hurlingdervish** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:53 pm

when im not expecting to see spiders i only have one response:

KILL THE FUCKKER

but then again we dont get 2ft long spiders here...
i would probably be afraid of getting spider juice spat in my eye when i stepped on the thing.

radioman · Post by **radioman** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:17 pm

Ham wrote:Its just flailing for your life innit!

Best quote ever

Ham · Post by **Ham** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:19 pm

the artful dodger · Post by **the artful dodger** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:25 pm

the thought that if they were the size of us they would wipe everything out!! That scare's me, lucky they aint ower size.

NilsFG · Post by **NilsFG** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:49 pm

BNanni wrote:started forming a group for cat haters.

There was a group like that around here once, they poisoned some cats around here.
Some of them are in prison now. Take that as a warning.

Spread the cat-love!

feral witchchild · Post by **feral witchchild** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:55 pm

::G-SUS:: wrote: Spiders dont freak me out, but gettin the web on me does.

Doesn't feel good man.

kay · Post by **kay** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:55 pm

BNanni wrote:I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I saw that in my house!
Probably laugh, then slowly go into crying, and shitting my pants

I don't think there'd be much left standing if something like that got near my friends (and probably me as well if it came down to it). We'd be equipped 24-7 with massive flamethrowers to burn the bastards dead!!!!

Small ones are fine though.

Everywhere I've lived since moving out of London has been infested with spiders

How can my house possibly have enough insects to feed them all???

Coppola · Post by **Coppola** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:14 am

HATE SPIDERS

magma · Post by **magma** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:27 am

yooamatwa · Post by **yooamatwa** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:58 am

A Friend of mine used to keep a camel spider...The fucker used to chew through its cage ...and escape from time to time...and they are vicious stnuc!

They sell them here from time to time if you want one

http://www.exotic-pets.co.uk/camel-spider.html

Spiders

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