strangest thing youve said to a girl while having sex

lowpass · Post by **lowpass** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:50 pm

pikeymobile wrote:"I've lost my jeb on, I'm off to make a sandwich"
Easily my most used line every weekend. Nothing like a sandwich to fix up those comedown impotence blues.

sex on an empty stomach is fail,

food ALWAYS comes first ,

always.....

rubixdub · Post by **rubixdub** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:46 am

lowpass wrote:
pikeymobile wrote:"I've lost my jeb on, I'm off to make a sandwich"
Easily my most used line every weekend. Nothing like a sandwich to fix up those comedown impotence blues.
sex on an empty stomach is fail,

food ALWAYS comes first ,

always.....

Sex on a full stomach is equally as bad a fail, you'll end up with a sex stitch.

tr0tsky · Post by **tr0tsky** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:59 am

It was after sex, but it was something like

"thank you BNanni, but I aint got 15quid for you so fuck you"

then I punched her in the face and left her crying and lonely in the Netto toilets.

BNanni · Post by **BNanni** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:26 am

tr0tsky wrote:It was after sex, but it was something like

"thank you BNanni, but I aint got 15quid for you so fuck you"

then I punched her in the face and left her crying and lonely in the Netto toilets.

Why are you so mean to me!

I thought you cared for me Tr0tsky.

You used me!

rubixdub · Post by **rubixdub** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:26 am

tr0tsky wrote:It was after sex, but it was something like

"thank you BNanni, but I aint got 15quid for you so fuck you"

then I punched her in the face and left her crying and lonely in the Netto toilets.

collige · Post by **collige** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:28 pm

tr0tsky wrote:It was after sex, but it was something like

"thank you BNanni, but I aint got 15quid for you so fuck you"

then I punched her in the face and left her crying and lonely in the Netto toilets.

And people wonder why there are no women on SNH....

cyberneticghost · Post by **cyberneticghost** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:32 pm

collige wrote:
tr0tsky wrote:It was after sex, but it was something like

"thank you BNanni, but I aint got 15quid for you so fuck you"

then I punched her in the face and left her crying and lonely in the Netto toilets.
And people wonder why there are no women on SNH....

Considering all the rape jokes and foul humor in general I never wondered......

Ennayess · Post by **Ennayess** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:39 pm

"I am going to turn your shit into mousse"

the artful dodger · Post by **the artful dodger** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:43 pm

Ennayess wrote:"I am going to turn your shit into mousse"

Thank fuck i was not eating the choclate mousse i just brought.

pikeymobile · Post by **pikeymobile** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:58 pm

rubixdub wrote:
lowpass wrote:
pikeymobile wrote:"I've lost my jeb on, I'm off to make a sandwich"
Easily my most used line every weekend. Nothing like a sandwich to fix up those comedown impotence blues.
sex on an empty stomach is fail,

food ALWAYS comes first ,

always.....
Sex on a full stomach is equally as bad a fail, you'll end up with a sex stitch.

Exactly. I've been victim to too many sex stitches, the pain means cumming is out of the question.

diss04 · Post by **diss04** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:04 pm

Once said "You look a bit like Natasha Kaplinsky from this angle" mid-boning.

She didn't know who she was so was convinced I was taking the piss and being rude, so stayed silent for the rest of the fuck. That's my excuse anyway.

diss04 · Post by **diss04** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:05 pm

also had one girl ask me to "pretend to be a burglar"

pikeymobile · Post by **pikeymobile** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:14 pm

diss04 wrote:also had one girl ask me to "pretend to be a burglar"

It's an excuse to slap her about

diss04 · Post by **diss04** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:17 pm

pikeymobile wrote:
diss04 wrote:also had one girl ask me to "pretend to be a burglar"
It's an excuse to slap her about

Nah I don't like hitting women unless they burn something.

I got a bit of stage fright, to be very honest.

I sort of went "Oh... er, I'm a burglar *grunt* give me all your money or at least have sex with me!"

She just went "Oh don't hurt me, burglar", proceeding to go down on me. What kind of robee calls their robber, 'burglar'?

Suffice to say she is a freak and we still engage often.

BNanni · Post by **BNanni** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:23 pm

Pada · Post by **Pada** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:43 pm

BNanni wrote:

sicker_than_swine_flu · Post by **sicker_than_swine_flu** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:58 pm

BNanni wrote:
tr0tsky wrote:It was after sex, but it was something like

"thank you BNanni, but I aint got 15quid for you so fuck you"

then I punched her in the face and left her crying and lonely in the Netto toilets.
Why are you so mean to me!
I thought you cared for me Tr0tsky.

You used me!

Yeah mate. I invaded your heart like I was the 1st Batallion the Queen's Squadron of Soldiers.

Straight up.

86. · Post by **86.** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:24 pm

diss04 wrote:
pikeymobile wrote:
diss04 wrote:also had one girl ask me to "pretend to be a burglar"
It's an excuse to slap her about
Nah I don't like hitting women unless they burn something.

I got a bit of stage fright, to be very honest.

I sort of went "Oh... er, I'm a burglar *grunt* give me all your money or at least have sex with me!"

She just went "Oh don't hurt me, burglar", proceeding to go down on me. What kind of robee calls their robber, 'burglar'?

Suffice to say she is a freak and we still engage often.

I find these fantasies bizarre, especially with one nighters.

girl once asked me to choke her...I considered it for several seconds then thought "if I hadnt only first met this girl a few hours ago, I wouldnt be so paranoid...but the last thing I want is to leave this apartment after we done and then have 5-0 on my ass for 'assault'"

fuck that.

rusto · Post by **rusto** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 12:47 pm

'That bassline is fucking amazing.'

domhunt · Post by **domhunt** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:29 pm

Not that strange but,

"Can i just finish myself off and jizz on your face?"

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