an open letter

[drokkr]

Big up Deadly

Whatever you are going through is not worth doing anything foolish over.

Stay strong dude.

Spot on, look for help in your friends and family. You will find it.

[86.]

wow.

I think many heads have been there. for me the main thing to keep in mind is that people will actually be very upset for the rest of their lives if you body yourself. think about others. obviously there are issues to deal with but if you don't do another good thing again in your life, don't put others through that.

and get deep inside your head and make the music that's sitting there waiting to be unleashed.

[jolly wailer]

please please stay strong DH


my thoughts are with you


hang on, head up, pull through

[FSTZ]

I go to therapy and spill all of my problems to a counselor for an hour every week, no matter how big or small they are

most of my issues are a direct result of bad decisions on my part

we all go through it...

you aren't alone

hopepefully you will see your way through this and stay around here for a bit

friends are great and family will remind you of the fact that people care deeply about you.

and get some professional help... it always makes me feel better

hang tuff homeslice

[trike12]

Wow.. this thread is just what i needed..
good life advice here..

sorry to hear about that deadly, hope youll manage.

if its any cheer youve allways been VERY helpfull.

[PMoos]

Ez,
One day, someone tell me that difficulties come to people who are abble to go over it... think about it, this isn't senseless...
Anyway, try to keep your head out of water... if you can't, maybe a shrink can help you... depression is desease, you know ? sometime need pills to get better... no shame...

[alphacat]

Deadly: if for no other reason, stick around because we need you here. Your advice is solid, experienced, and always helpful. You've seen how many asshats around here (including me) have tried to offer tech advice that obviously didn't know WTF they were talking about, right?

When you're in the hole of depression it appears to be reality, but it's just as illusory as any of our other sense perceptions. As someone else said earlier, life's what you make it... and that's true on levels many of us never even comprehend most of the time. Your life is your movie. If you choose to be, you are the producer, director, star, score composer, and more... as long as you don't relinquish any of those roles, because if you do there are plenty of bloodsuckers out there who'll offer to take over any of those roles you don't want. When that happens the movie doesn't usually end that nicely.

Something that's always helped me shake the blues is a radical change in environment, i.e. leave your normal surroundings and habits far, far behind and immerse yourself in something/somewhere that's totally new to you. Upstate NY can be depressing as fuck during the winter.

[mars]

hey man,
i know i'm a total stranger, but i gotta say there's no point in ending ur own life. i'm horrible at giving advice, but honestly, things don't always go the way we want. there's ups and downs to life... u got so much talent, and i always see u helping ppl out with questions no matter how hard they are. seriously, sometimes the things u say go right over my head.
ur right, life without love or passion is worthless. but u said music is ur passion and i'm sure u enjoy other things as well. whenever i'm feeling down, i just make a song... most of em fuckin suck, but i learn with each one. fabric paid u? then ur on the right way!
think of the possibilities. music can take u places... all it takes is initiative. ur a pro at synths, u can charge for helping ppl out, maybe teach a class, give lessons, something along those lines.
anyways... use that energy to put it in ur music. music is the best therapy. i made some of my best songs when i was feeling down. and check out wesley willis. diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia but made music every day of his life to keep the 'demons' away.
take it easy man... we dunno each other but i hope u get over what ur going through... lots of newbs on this website need your help

[djshiva]

dude, go and see a counsellor and tell your doctor how you're feeling.

the internet is no place for solace with woes like these. I dont know you but if you seek help in the right places, the answers to your problems will become clear.

One love man.

Seriously, putting this stuff up on the internet just mostly insures mockery and bullshit. No one needs that. Seek some help please, k?

And please remember, life is a gift. There are people the world over fighting to keep living. Don't give up.

[Disco Nutter]

And please remember, life is a gift. There are people the world over fighting to keep living. Don't give up.

This. In BIG letters.
Cruel place...

Jason

[nowaysj]

My extremely difficult to accept and difficult to follow but extremely effective and sustainable recipe for a happier life -

• Stop Drugs - no booze, weed or the other illegals. Stop coffee, and cut back on sugar/raw carbs. No corn syrup, ever.
  
  Get Exercise - daily if you can, but at least 4 times a week. An hour of cardio - fast walking/running should do it.
  
  Get Sleep - I know it's hard, and i know it's hard for u, cause I'm chattin on here with you at 6 am, my time, that's 9 u, and I know you've not been to sleep. Even if you can't sleep, fucking lay there, and get up the next morning/every morning at the same time. This is the hardest one for me to do.

I know this sounds like the simplest/stupidest shit, but I promise you this works.

I've been in the same place, dh, and have known many others, as well. Some didn't make it, some did. I have a kid now, and the places I've gone as a human being because of this have been unimaginably intense and wonderful. When I think of my friends that will never experience what I am now experiencing because of the decisions they made... it is very sad.

It's good that you've talked to your friends/loved ones. Make sure that you/they remove all the easy means of killing yourself - guns, razors, pills...

Seek professional help if you need to, or tell your friends to seek professional help for you if things start looking bad again.

Life is short enough, bro, no need to accelerate the process!

and

DON'T DO IT

[ianks]

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. i know how it is, i have been in your exact same position. helpless, hopeless. i'm a hope-to-die dope fiend, and i have found another way of life where i experience more love, peace, and joy than i probably deserve. i find it very powerful that you have put your hand out and asked for help. that is a big thing to do, and instead of viewing it as a last call, i view it as the beginning to a new chapter. the honestly openness and willingness that you are showing here will lead you to a life beyond your wildest dreams -- believe. if you ever need anything, i'm here. and regardless of have no personal relationship with you, i love you.

love+light

[collective]

i never valued my life much, but I do value my friends and family, and the look in my loved ones eyes when I awoke in a hospital, after having my stomach pumped, was enough to never want to do anything to myself that would hurt those that love me no matter how hopeless I feel with myself and my future.


hope you find your way to other side in peace.

[scorcha]

i've been pretty down lately too, man. music seems to be the only thing im really passionate about but at times it's reeeally hard accepting ones limitations, not being nearly as good as i'd like to be, and not ever going to be able to make a good living off this passion (which isn't what it's about, but still...)

certain people are obviously born blessed with a musical mind and can write amazing songs all day...then others like myself struggle with all the passion in the world but perhaps not the right natural talent? it can be very depressing not feeling good enough at what you care the most about a truly empty, and hopeless feeling

but with acceptance comes love, i suppose.

i know the diet and exercise suggestions may sound trivial in a time of such impossible grief but please don't take it lightly. proper diet and exercise are probably the two most important things you can do to help you get out of this funk. i've been where you're at and it definetly works. you wouldn't believe the effects on the mind of an all natural diet + exercise + sunlight/nature.

please let us know how you're doing...there's quite a few people here that care for you and look up to you, dude.

[Dark Reign]

Hang in there man. Life can be awesome you just gotta find sumthin to inspire you to keep on going, hope you get through this.

[therapist]

Would it help if I told you that I actually respect you even more than Westwood?

[abZ]

You know where to find me if you need to chat and the second label to pay you will do so sometime after they get paid from the distro

[fhsueh]

This is my first post. I've never had anything to contribute but felt like I had to speak up.

Just wanted to encourage you to hang on. I've learned an incredible amount from your contributions to this forum. You may not know it, but people like you provide an inspirational lifeline to many folks like me who have day jobs and just can't wait to get home to work on what really matters to us.

To everyone else:
Is there anyone in the vicinity who can check up on Deadly?

[grooki]

hey Deadly,
I guess everyone has given you their advice and stuff so I won't say much - the biggest thing that has helped me in my life is accepting myself, not being too hard on myself. In the past (and even now I catch myself) thinking that I should be more successful, or I should be be this or I should be that. I have to strive to attain this or that. But none of this matters, because I have to accept myself, love myself for who I am and apply no standards.
And, get out there and talk to real people - like it's good your friends were there. call em!

[dignan]

like everyone else has said - there's no problem too big that should even make you think of doing something foolish. stay strong homey!