worst night on my life..cant move on any advice?

osky · Post by **osky** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:51 pm

easy for me to say at the moment but. do some exercise, sounds weird but will help you feel better. dont get fucked off your face. go out with mates.

i bet you in a year or so you'll be thinking "why the fuck was i making such a fuss"

HamCrescendo · Post by **HamCrescendo** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:57 pm

osky wrote:easy for me to say at the moment but. do some exercise, sounds weird but will help you feel better. dont get fucked off your face. go out with mates.

i bet you in a year or so you'll be thinking "why the fuck was i making such a fuss"

hah joke, I've started exercising recently but only so I can get fucked off my face (cycling for ages to get to a field to get mushrooms), but it has made me feel better anyway.

crutch · Post by **crutch** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:11 pm

haven't read all of this thread but, i think you need to go out and talk to girls. without intending to sleep with them. i have been in and out of depression or a couple of years now (not going into details but it was dark at times) and this has been a break though for me. now i will prob get judged here (dont care) but have you heard of pua's? basically pick up artists/hitch. they have numerous dvds, a forum (http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/) and books (biggest being the game by neil strauss). they all sort of de romanticize/mystify women which i think is a bit cold, but you can take what you want from them, weather you want loads of sex, flirty conversation or companionship. ive been interested in this for about a month now but the guy who put me onto it can literally go to a bar and float round the room chatting breeze to girls, fit or not, all night. and if the hottest girl in the room sees that all these women are comforable around you and are enjoying your company then can you can approuch her no problem, and youl prob be warmed up by then and she will be eating out of the palm of your hand. and women liking makes you feel soooo good!! its not all about 'outer game' as they call it but also 'inner game' (very important). and its not just applicable to women either (no homo), this stuff will help you out at work alot.

a loser is someone who is content with bumbling along with minimal risk to getting hurt and is content with mediocrity.

a winner recognizes there is something wrong or wants more and does something about it.

big respect to you for coming on here and asking for help.

DRTY · Post by **DRTY** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:32 pm

manillathrilla wrote:i have been depressed for about two months now since my x dumped me. it is really starting to affect my everyday life. I eat like shit and sleep all the time, except never when its appropriate. I am failing my classes at my university and have no drive to go out and do things. anyways last nigh........

Stop trying to speak to her, you need to move on from her, there is life after her!

I know it's cringing to hear, but you'll be fine, you just need to realize that you don't need her anymore.

I was with my X for 5 years, and one day out of the blue she broke up with me saying "she wanted to move to London to work in an airport".......... turned out she left me for some tnuc.

But yeah, few months later I was fine, realized my life could be good without her, it took time but eventually it was ok. Was definitely the low point of my life, and you can't describe how horrible it feels. Unfortunately nothing will instantly make you feel better. You just need to fight through it, go out as much as you can, see your mates, see your family, dont think about her, dont try to speak to her, because you'll only be punishing yourself. Also, if you do get upset, it's ok! Having a fucking good cry can be good for you I think.

The finding it hard to talk to girls is normal.... I felt like a social spastic after breaking with my X, you feel stupid and 'out of the game', but that's not abnormal, if you've been in a commited relationship for ages then you've had no need to impress strangers and socialize with them (not that the only time I talk to strangers is the fuck them). But this will come back to you in time, you just need to get used to it again.

You just need to realize that your life can carry on without her for the better. Once you see that, you'll start to feel great.

You're obviously a very strong person, because it takes balls to actually ask for help. Big up for doing that, and it looks like you're getting alot of good help

The ninjas are here you you!

manillathrilla · Post by **manillathrilla** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:13 am

word its all great advice i just feel there are a few things you should know about my relationship. I would have married this girl in two years if we were still together i thought she was the one... Also i feel like im insane without her its hard to explain but she kept my sanity inline. I feel like im teetering on the edge.
I dont know how to talk to girls anymore and every girl i talk to at a random occasion i feel like i treat like a girlfriend which is obviously a turnoff for the girl.
its just i lost my way with women...and im not oging to lie i was the best guy this girl will ever get. the one regret i have in my entire life is the time i threw her to the ground after i heard a heartbreaking story concerning her and the guy she cheated on me with...i mean i took her and pushed her so she fell into a rock and onto her ass in public...obviously i looked like the asshole but either way i fucked up. anyways my problem now is just not knowing how to talk to a girl who isnt my girlfriend. like im used to be able to talking to my x and saying whatever i want. now when i go out and meet girls i get way too emotional/maybe even clingy.. i dont know the adjustment from a 3 year relationship to a bachelor who hasent gotten laid in two months really takes a mental toll. trust im no emo tnuc but i am more emotional than i have ever been in my life... i just dont know how to go about meeting other girls and acting like a normal guy. sometimes i doubt that i even am a normal guy. my position has caused some serious mental health problems for me. my buddies are the best. I go to boston atleast once a month and stay with them, but at my small uni i am having trouble being a normal guy and trying to find a girl. i had a good day today, drank at my buddies and takled with a girl i thought was into me. she left later that night and i texted her saying hope i see you later and tonight was fun, wahtever whatever. got no response. im in college and a different person. in highschool i was the shit all the girls liked me, i had the prettiest girl in the school as my girlfriend and i was looked up to by everyone. now im just some random heartbroken kid with mediocre looks, play no sports, get no respect other than the fact that for some reason people like me. but girls wise...after having a perfect 10 love you for 3 years then being thrown under the bus and feeling like not one single girl you are attracted to at school wants to give you the time of day has to be one of the most depressing things in the world hands down.
how the fuck do i find another girl like her and if i can i will post a picture of this girl so you can see what my x looked like because it will prove im not lying about her beauty

manillathrilla · Post by **manillathrilla** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:25 am

collige · Post by **collige** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:32 am

In my honest and completely unprofessional opinion: you aren't in any position tbe chasing a relationship right now. Trying to rush back into a relationship right right helps no one. Forget about women, have fun with your friends, chill.

manillathrilla · Post by **manillathrilla** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:42 am

i will never have a relationship until i get married ive had two sexless months and my mates can only do so much fwith them (drink/party) i have the best friends in the world. i feel like girls have no interest in ne. fuck my x im going back to that state i was in 5 years ago when i thought i could never find a girl who would love me for my perverted non linear sense of reality and humor. I dont consider myself a normal person i do a lot of strange things and it takes a certain girl to understand me. how many beautiful girls ilke that can there be out there? what does help is talks wiht my parents and family but i literally have chosen to move across the world to new zealand, btw herez a little tmi. I told this girl i had suicidal thoughts on the pohone... she said "that sucks you should go see a doctor, im busy at lunch so i gotta go bye." thats the x im dealing with... what is a guy like me supposed to do. i dont wanna toot my own horn but i literally am one of those friends who will never turn his back and would take a bullet for anyone i cared about without a second thought. and this girl says that to me?

tacospheros · Post by **tacospheros** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:56 am

you'll be OK dude.

but in the meantime , use all your emotions and shit and put it into some amazing art ! sadness from lost love can be some of the strongest inspiration there is . write a fuckin song man ! write some damn tunes blud !! and then post em on here

Shae · Post by **Shae** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:11 am

1. Grow Up
2. Read your signature over and over.

d-T-r · Post by **d-T-r** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:20 am

dont blame her.dont blame yourself.
when life fucks up, you have to examine the content in your life that kept it all together.
you cant rely on external things to keep the balance of happiness/sanity although everyone does this to some extent. the weather, girl/boy/freinds , music ,substances,materials, current state of affairs, job etc.
if you find yourself feeling shitty when something in the content of your life is missing, or isnt as good as you felt it once was, then thats an issue. the issue isnt the content it's self though, its the relying on the external content to keep that internal balance and creating the idea that you need those things in that state to feel emotionally secure.

build some new internal foundations that arent gonna crumble no matter what happens around you. there will be knocks and dents here and there but nothing is irreparable if you treat the root rather than the surface. easier said than done though i'll admit , for now just ask yourself what does make you feel happy, ask yourself why, seek more happiness and experience for that reason. dont ask yourself what makes you feel un-happy though as inviting as it sounds as you'll just run through the details/memories some more. but yeah i dunno...

try and use your emotions and channel them out cratively. that way youll have a document of what you feel only it will be released from you into a tune, image,photo,lyric whatever. just helps summarize things.

listen to good music. chill.

Shae · Post by **Shae** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:25 am

manillathrilla wrote:I told this girl i had suicidal thoughts on the pohone... she said "that sucks you should go see a doctor, im busy at lunch so i gotta go bye." thats the x im dealing with... what is a guy like me supposed to do. i dont wanna toot my own horn but i literally am one of those friends who will never turn his back and would take a bullet for anyone i cared about without a second thought. and this girl says that to me?

How old are you? Seriously? YOU SHOULD GO AND SEE A DOCTOR FFS

You're giving this sob story about how you're such a nice guy and all and you're telling your ex girlfriend that you have suicidal thoughts?! you sound like a right charmer, how about getting to grip with reality and understanding that, THIS IS IT... she's not getting back with you, it's clear, it's fucking obvious isn't it?! Move on with your life instead of thinking about pointless shit, and feeling sorry for yourself isn't gonna help either, it's just gonna mess you up even more. I know what it's like in your situation, I was there a couple of months back, not to the point where I was telling her I wanted to kill myself but I was depressed and shit, thought about her everyday, couldn't work properly, wouldn't eat properly, and the fucked up thing is is that I broke up with her... big time error on my part. The fact of the matter is like I've previously said, being sorry for yourself and trying to contact her and stuff isn't going to make things any better, only worse... As hard as is it, you need to move on, I know it's shallow but what helped me was thinking about her bad points and why I broke up with her, along with talking to friends about it, girl friends sympathise you and tell you that you could do alot better... one thing I won't reccomend is listened to Burials Untrue, fuckin hell I cried like a baby haha, moved on now though, always chattin to girls at work and meeting up n that, just cut her out of your life, remove everything that reminds you of her etc, off to work sinabeeet

metalboxproducts · Post by **metalboxproducts** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:36 am

It could take years to get over this. When this kinda thing happened to me when i was about your age it took a very long time to get over it. I messed up college and messed up lots of other things. So yeah, it might take a while but, you will get over it some day. Just remember that although you feel like it is, you are not the only person who has felt or is feeling like this

DRTY · Post by **DRTY** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:54 am

manillathrilla wrote:i will never have a relationship until i get married ive had two sexless months and my mates can only do so much fwith them (drink/party) i have the best friends in the world. i feel like girls have no interest in ne. fuck my x im going back to that state i was in 5 years ago when i thought i could never find a girl who would love me for my perverted non linear sense of reality and humor. I dont consider myself a normal person i do a lot of strange things and it takes a certain girl to understand me. how many beautiful girls ilke that can there be out there? what does help is talks wiht my parents and family but i literally have chosen to move across the world to new zealand, btw herez a little tmi. I told this girl i had suicidal thoughts on the pohone... she said "that sucks you should go see a doctor, im busy at lunch so i gotta go bye." thats the x im dealing with... what is a guy like me supposed to do. i dont wanna toot my own horn but i literally am one of those friends who will never turn his back and would take a bullet for anyone i cared about without a second thought. and this girl says that to me?

Your mindset is all wrong atm..... If you've just come out of a long relationship, the last thing you want right now is another one (whether you know it or not). You need a break from that lifestyle, time to sort your head out. If you got with another girl now you'd probably end up hurting her and using her as a rebound. I'd relax on the whole hunting for bitches thing for a while mate.

When I broke up with my X, I went without for about 5, maybe 6 months. It's a tnuc but you gotta bite the bullet. Slowly I managed to be able to start talking to girls again, but like you I felt completely out of it having been in a relationship so long.

You're obviously a good guy because this girl fucked you over (that's what happens to nice guys unfortunately), so you just need to stop trying so hard and let them find you. Also, stop considering yourself abnormal and like some sort of freak, that's not gonna help you at all. If anything you're better than most for being so honest and open about it.

But if you are still gonna be on the hunt for ladies, you need to totally forget about your X. Put her behind you, don't call her, don't think about her, don't talk about her (especially to potentials), and just try to see how much fun you can have without her. It seems like you're focussing too much on the negative things.

AnalGangstaHo · Post by **AnalGangstaHo** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:35 am

Who wants to consider themselves a normal person? Fuck that. Don't go thinking that she's the only girl who's ever gonna be into your quirks cos she won't. It's called personality. Might be a fucked up one at that, but to quote Slipknots Corey Taylor "Anyone who's worth their salt is a little bit bent out of shape".
Please, stop contacting her. What did you think telling her about your suicidal thoughts was gonna do? Make her take you back?
Don't be so desperate to get with other girls cos that won't help one bit. Not that I imagine girls would be interested atm with how your acting.
Get your shit together mate cos life's too short and once you're sorted the babes'll come naturally. and also, I hate to break it to you but not everyone is bangin every other day. 2 sexless months? That's really nothing mate. Imagine if you'd have got married!

pikeymobile · Post by **pikeymobile** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:15 am

Everytime I've come out of a big relationship I just spend 2 weeks binging and listening to psytrance, buy myself a nice present and I'm happy. I get heavily in love with women, but I find it incredibly easy to sever old thoughts.
I've probably got tons of repressed memories and emotions which are going to explode in to an orgy of brain cancer later in life.

DRTY · Post by **DRTY** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:22 am

pikeymobile wrote: I've probably got tons of repressed memories and emotions which are going to explode in to an orgy of brain cancer later in life.

positive outlook

unlikely · Post by **unlikely** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:53 pm

bandshell wrote:
firky wrote:This is going to sound harsh as fuck but:

She did the right thing, she isn't responsible for you or your actions and in a way you were using emotional blackmail unintentionally to try and re-establish some kind of bond or emotional attachment that is no longer there. You're blaming much of your depression on her rather than your state of mind and the substance misuse. Seriously, fella... sort it out before you end up a right fucking mess, you've already taken quite a brave step by posting about it on here, where some people will no doubt call you an emo prick etc. (they did it to me when I said I still love my ex), the best thing you can do for yourself is delete her number and all modes of contact with her and seek professional help.

Necking alprazolam in those kinds of doses will actually heighten your anxiety, cause confusion, agitation, perception gets shot to shit as your head goes mental, some people then exhibit aggressive behaviour and then there's the physical side effects that include sores all over your skin, jaundice complexion, hypersensitivity to touch and hearing to the point it causes pain and more. There's a couple of things in there that may sound familiar already...

It's up to you, no one else. This problem is not caused by the girl - she was the trigger.

Best of luck man
yeah, I was gonna say something along these lines but not as well as Firky said it. Specifically the first paragraph.

me too!

also if you honestly feel you're gonna flop uni as a result, go talk to the counceler and explain your situation and you will probably get some excemptions or later deadlines, you might even get some cash!

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:02 pm

Always makes me chuckle how women just get the fuck over it far quicker than blokes.

mr. lizard · Post by **mr. lizard** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:05 pm

pikeymobile wrote:Everytime I've come out of a big relationship I just spend 2 weeks binging and listening to psytrance, buy myself a nice present and I'm happy. I get heavily in love with women, but I find it incredibly easy to sever old thoughts.
I've probably got tons of repressed memories and emotions which are going to explode in to an orgy of brain cancer later in life.

lol, that is just like me.

My advice is.... move on mate. Fresh start and all that.

Pick yourself up and make the most of life.

worst night on my life..cant move on any advice?

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