Thrusting all wrong!!! I just lie back and let my hand do all the work.kay wrote:It's just youfaust.dtc wrote:On another note is it just me or do other people feel like they are falling apart already. Im 27 and my lower back has gone, my shoulders are tense and my neck is as stiff as a mother fucker. I dread to think for the next 20 years have in store...![]()
You may have to improve on you sexual technique. My diagnosis is that you're thrusting the wrong way.
Beer Belly
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Re: Beer Belly
Re: Beer Belly
You need to get a dog, mate.faust.dtc wrote:Thrusting all wrong!!! I just lie back and let my hand do all the work.kay wrote:It's just youfaust.dtc wrote:On another note is it just me or do other people feel like they are falling apart already. Im 27 and my lower back has gone, my shoulders are tense and my neck is as stiff as a mother fucker. I dread to think for the next 20 years have in store...![]()
You may have to improve on you sexual technique. My diagnosis is that you're thrusting the wrong way.
Re: Beer Belly
I have mate but the bitch always fakes a headachefirky wrote:You need to get a dog, mate.faust.dtc wrote:Thrusting all wrong!!! I just lie back and let my hand do all the work.kay wrote:It's just youfaust.dtc wrote:On another note is it just me or do other people feel like they are falling apart already. Im 27 and my lower back has gone, my shoulders are tense and my neck is as stiff as a mother fucker. I dread to think for the next 20 years have in store...![]()
You may have to improve on you sexual technique. My diagnosis is that you're thrusting the wrong way.
- dubluke
- Posts: 12839
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- Location: anyplace that would provide good shelter during a zombie invasion
Re: Beer Belly
don't even get me started on the belly man, i've never been slim but i've had a decent sized belly a couple of years now, my diet and lifestyle is fucking embarrasing to be honest, loads of unhealthy (but delicious) food and snacking, drink far too much alcohol on a regular basis, drink coke and rubicon while i'm at work, don't really do any exercise and smoke as well
need to learn some self control!
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
Re: Beer Belly
you guys need some meth, that'll sort your bellies out. Just watch out for the people talking in the walls
Re: Beer Belly
i heard somewhere that alcohol over time makes your intestines go all hard and swollen, hence beer bellies are hard as fuck
fat bellies are soft and pillowy
if you wanna lose the beer belly, gotta lose the beer
no shortcuts
fat bellies are soft and pillowy
if you wanna lose the beer belly, gotta lose the beer
no shortcuts
- dubluke
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Re: Beer Belly
oh of course, solve our weight issues with crystal meth! very practicalthe tits wrote:you guys need some meth, that'll sort your bellies out. Just watch out for the people talking in the walls
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
Re: Beer Belly
When I finished uni I spent like 4 months on the dole and then I started 9-5ing which proper merked me, I was tired all the time and generally feeling sorry for myself.faust.dtc wrote:I might ask Father Christmas for a shiney red one then as I cant really be fucked to go jogging.
Actually not being fucked to do much other than sit on my fat arse and eat, drink and smoke is the reason why im in this mess.
I joined the gym and haven't looked back, I go 2 or 3 times a week now and it makes you feel like a spring lamb.
10 minutes on rower
stretches
do some weights (I usually do chest press, lower back, upper arm, leg press, shoulder press, squats)
10 minutes on treadmill at 9.5 kph
10 mins on bike
situps, crunches and leg extention-type thingies using the big exercise balls
10 mins on cross trainer to cool down
stretches
Sorts you the fuck out bro, especially the running and biking because the biggest muscle in your body is in your legs (other than my foot-long winkie) and so it burns the most energy when used therefore takes you that one step closer to looking like a Greek god.
Babylon Rocket.
Re: Beer Belly
sure is! how else you gonna lose weight AND get to ride the paranoia train bullet drain straight to deathville?! big up telephone calls from demons!dubluke wrote:oh of course, solve our weight issues with crystal meth! very practicalthe tits wrote:you guys need some meth, that'll sort your bellies out. Just watch out for the people talking in the walls
Re: Beer Belly
the tits wrote:ugh nasty, food of the dogsbaron_von_carlton wrote: Grilled Pork Neck will do it
The food of the Gods![]()
You have no idea what you're talking about
tr0tsky wrote: InI man nuh go to nah rasclot independent ethnic butchers seen.
Selassie-I man shop in Morrisons.
Re: Beer Belly
ah don't take it so hard baronbaron_von_carlton wrote: You have no idea what you're talking about![]()
that dawgg knows what's up, din din
Re: Beer Belly
Swimming is the way forward. And I mean proper swimming, non of this breast-stroke-with-your-chin-on-the-surface like an old lady on a Sunday. That shit burns some serious calories, and works your upper body damn well too...
Magma wrote: SNH is a genuinely necessary part of making sure I don't murder everyone in the building whilst muttering Flow Dan lyrics.
badger wrote:The panda's problem isn't man. The panda's problem is that it's utterly shit
- dubluke
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Re: Beer Belly
I love swimming but i'm a bit weird about swimming pools, there's always some gross stuff on the tiles at the one in peckham or plasters floating around in the water, and that makes me feel a bit like i'm about to vomit, can't hack that kind of thing man, I'm not squeamish about anything else but stuff like that is just grim for mekins83 wrote:Swimming is the way forward. And I mean proper swimming, non of this breast-stroke-with-your-chin-on-the-surface like an old lady on a Sunday. That shit burns some serious calories, and works your upper body damn well too...
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
Re: Beer Belly
Yeah to be fair there's some grim pools out there - plasters and big clumps of hair floating around are a regular appearance.
I remember at secondary school there was a shitty little pool, and one of those footbath things on the way from the changing rooms to the pool. Without fail, there would always be a dead spider floating around in it.
Luckily the pool near me is relatively new, and so it hasn't really had the chance to get all manky yet...
I remember at secondary school there was a shitty little pool, and one of those footbath things on the way from the changing rooms to the pool. Without fail, there would always be a dead spider floating around in it.
Luckily the pool near me is relatively new, and so it hasn't really had the chance to get all manky yet...
Magma wrote: SNH is a genuinely necessary part of making sure I don't murder everyone in the building whilst muttering Flow Dan lyrics.
badger wrote:The panda's problem isn't man. The panda's problem is that it's utterly shit
- dubluke
- Posts: 12839
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:15 am
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Re: Beer Belly
urgh, the footbaths are the worst bit, i'm a bit OCD about shit like that man, can't face the thought of having to traipse through other people's nasty foot germs before then jumping headfirst into a massive pool full of grossness off people's skin, YUCK!kins83 wrote:Yeah to be fair there's some grim pools out there - plasters and big clumps of hair floating around are a regular appearance.
I remember at secondary school there was a shitty little pool, and one of those footbath things on the way from the changing rooms to the pool. Without fail, there would always be a dead spider floating around in it.
Luckily the pool near me is relatively new, and so it hasn't really had the chance to get all manky yet...
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
Re: Beer Belly
Last time I went swimming someone did a shit in the pool and the life guard had to get in and scoop it up in a plastic earbud container...now thats grim.
- dubluke
- Posts: 12839
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:15 am
- Location: anyplace that would provide good shelter during a zombie invasion
Re: Beer Belly
fucking hell, gross, what kind of person squeezes out a mud monkey whilst doing lengths?faust.dtc wrote:Last time I went swimming someone did a shit in the pool and the life guard had to get in and scoop it up in a plastic earbud container...now thats grim.
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
Re: Beer Belly
lol it seems most people have a swimming pool and poo story.
Some lad in my year - by the name of Darren Jones - shat himself in the pool and nobody could get out quick enough.
Some lad in my year - by the name of Darren Jones - shat himself in the pool and nobody could get out quick enough.
Magma wrote: SNH is a genuinely necessary part of making sure I don't murder everyone in the building whilst muttering Flow Dan lyrics.
badger wrote:The panda's problem isn't man. The panda's problem is that it's utterly shit
- dubluke
- Posts: 12839
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:15 am
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Re: Beer Belly
hahahahahaha, i think hackman did a similar thing! one time i swallowed bare swimming pool water by accident then needed to vomit something rotten, got out and started running to the toilets but didn't make it and projectile vomited against a glass door, it went everywhere!!kins83 wrote:lol it seems most people have a swimming pool and poo story.
Some lad in my year - by the name of Darren Jones - shat himself in the pool and nobody could get out quick enough.
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
Re: Beer Belly
i'm an absolute wreck. my grandparents are more spritely than me and they're in their 80sfaust.dtc wrote:On another note is it just me or do other people feel like they are falling apart already. Im 27 and my lower back has gone, my shoulders are tense and my neck is as stiff as a mother fucker. I dread to think for the next 20 years have in store...
yeah just get yourself a tapeworm like i did and you can eat whatever you likedubluke wrote:oh of course, solve our weight issues with crystal meth! very practicalthe tits wrote:you guys need some meth, that'll sort your bellies out. Just watch out for the people talking in the walls
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