Favourite Peep Show Quotes

[mawltea]

Haha, just saw the last episode of the first series. Pretty epic funeral speech raving on about Enya, and later being jerked off by a crying Toni, hahaha. Ah, man, that show is so sad, yet so funny.

[Y_H]

Mark: "Who do you think you are Jez? You're not james bond"
Jez thinks *I am james bond*

One of my favourites

[billuf]

after jez sleeps with marks fiancees mum
"mark - you mother fucker!
jez - thats right , thats what i am, im a motherfucker"

superhanz - tell u what, that cracks incredibly more ish

[ruckus49]

johnson

"Tonight should be a free-fire ideas zone, watch a DVD, eat some pizza,(voice gets real creepy) fuck each other. I'm serious; fuck a chicken if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fuck a horse."

[bandshell]

"Maybe he'll train me up to be a carpenter like Jesus and if I get crucified he'll start a religion in my name... Jeremism"

[manillathrilla]

i fucking died when i heard some of marks thoughts about being gay for johnson

[therapist]

Mark: "Who do you think you are Jez? You're not james bond"
Jez thinks *I am james bond*

One of my favourites too.

That one where they have to get their crazy mate sectioned, everything gets a bit heated and Mark suggests they better section Jez "Mark if you even think of getting me sectioned I'll have you sectioned so fast yo..." doctor interupts to tell them to fuck off.

Jez in the same episode I think. "Oh that's what you want, everybody grey, on the omnibus, eating grey sludge. That's what you want."

[deamonds]

Mark to Superhanz “so you’ve kicked the crack then?”

Superhanz “nah, but now, I bang a load of vallium up me arse to take the edge off it/comedown” (cant remember the exact quote, it’s when they are going in that guys house for the Honda ad!)

[Neurotik]

Sophie: I was quite shocked when you called Cathy a knuckle head.
Mark: No i didn't.
Sophie: Yes you did, you said she was a knuckle head and she should kuckle down or you'll kuckle her fat head.


Mark: Great! Now i'm getting an angry lapdance.

[Pedro Sánchez]

Where Jez has been wanking off that gay producer The Orgerzoid and doesn't want to go back, then Superhanz walks in and says "Why didn't you tell me about this wanking off bit" Jez replies later "did you do it" then Hanz says "course I bloody did, how do you think I got these trainers".

[amick]

Inspired me to start watching it from the start again.

One of the opening lines in Episode 1 - Season 1.

Jez: "Maybe a tattoo on my chest, of my face. Yeeeeeah double me. Feel it!!!"

The show is such quality. Cringe worthy at its finest.

[particle-jim]

"Super Hans got a bass loop for our track that is so good that when he tried turning it off, he physically couldn't do it."
or when mark left sophie that message on her answerphone, "and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i... like you?"
fuckin brilliant show

[DZA]

Super Hans: "I'll tell you what, this crack is really more-ish."

And there's one that Jeremy says - I can't remember it exactly, but he's sat in a town centre watching a bunch of ladies walk by, saying to himself "She's got one........she's got one............."

Super hans is fucking joke

[Chaaz]

"sorry for that depth charge I left in yer toilet, mate!" - randomer telling mark he's just taken a fat shut in his toilet.

[mashmash]

"just me, you, over some chinese food and a couple of fuck off spreadsheets"

"I'll assign you some slave drones, milk them till they're dead. we just need them sweating stats and shitting facts till D-day"

[Motorway to Roswell]

Jez: I'm a musician, in case you'd forgotten and I answer to a higher law. The law of "if it feels good, do it".

Mark: Oh, thats a great law. What is that, Gaddafi's law?

Jez: It's the musician's law. Colonel Gaddafi could not lay down a bass hook, Mark. That should be clear even to you.

Johnson: Tonight should be a free-fire idea zone. Watch a DVD, eat some pizza, fuck each other. I'm serious. Fuck a chicken if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fucking a horse. What? You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton?

[64hz]

pretty much everything alan johnson and superhans say is quotable.

and "the megatron doesnt say 'urban freewheelers'. . . it says sofa masturbators. . . "

mark : you dont have to be a pedo to work with children.
jez : but it probably helps


(quotes arent half as funny when theyre typed out, especially with peep show, its all about the delivery)

[Kochari]

"Nice packet of crunchy nut...Pretty expensive as I recall"
"Oh yeah just cause its a computer its made of spider webs and magic"
"You should take acid at the funeral, its what I did at my old man's. I was laughing, but also crying. I didn't know who was dead and who was alive..."
"When you're on tour someone's always putting something in your mouth. A bong. A pill. A tit. A bit of fried hallummi, that'd be nice."

[DRTY]

"is that. normal, Mark"

[64hz]

"You should take acid at the funeral, its what I did at my old man's. I was laughing, but also crying. I didn't know who was dead and who was alive..."

and when he tells mark to take acid at the childbirth