shit jokes

deamonds · Post by **deamonds** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:56 am

I'd hate to be a bin man, i bet that job is rubbish

budum tisshhh

flemmily · Post by **flemmily** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:16 pm

what's brown and in the attic?

the Diarrhea of Anne Frank

kion · Post by **kion** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:20 pm

who's got that.
got what
that
what
that
what
that
whats that
that
thats what.

jack sparrow1 · Post by **jack sparrow1** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:31 pm

what do you call a one legged horse?

''clip''

rachel · Post by **rachel** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 12:44 am

wat do u call an exploding monkey?

baboom

tssssssshhhh.....

kion · Post by **kion** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 1:09 am

What do you call a blind thalidomide homosexual in a broken down lift?

anything you want.

chechisshhhhhhhhhh

random trio · Post by **random trio** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 12:29 pm

wot do u call a blind man walking through a bush.....

russel

paolo · Post by **paolo** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 1:23 pm

what's brown and sticky?

a stick!

aerosol cambell · Post by **aerosol cambell** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 2:22 am

I apologise in advance...

What do you call two Man Utd. Fans

.... Holly and Jessica......................

I know at least ONE of you laughed. Shame on you. Shame.

paolo · Post by **paolo** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 12:36 pm

AeroSol Cambell wrote:I apologise in advance...

What do you call two Man Utd. Fans

.... Holly and Jessica......................

I know at least ONE of you laughed. Shame on you. Shame.

i'm not proud of myself

sand leaper · Post by **sand leaper** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:52 am

I ate a ploughman's lunch the other day.

He wasn't very happy.

benjybars · Post by **benjybars** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:15 pm

Sand Leaper wrote:I ate a ploughman's lunch the other day.

He wasn't very happy.

enjoyed that!

emcee child · Post by **emcee child** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:05 pm

a fly with no wings ?

a walk.

a fly with no wings and no legs?

a rasin.

how many rudeboys does it take to change a lightbulb?
8.
1 to take it down and the rest to pick-it-up-pick-it-up-pick-it-up

kion · Post by **kion** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:06 am

what do you call a cross-dressing Inuit

transveskimo

rachel · Post by **rachel** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:15 am

wat do u call santa's little helper?

subordinate clause.

(chek the results of spendin 2 much quality holiday time wit yr comedy dad...)

ramadanman · Post by **ramadanman** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:32 am

A man walks into a bakers

"Hi, i'd like a loaf of bread please"

"White or brown?"

"Doesn't matter, i'm on my bike!!!"

kion · Post by **kion** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:35 am

that was half baked.

kion · Post by **kion** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:36 am

a man walks into a bar.

'ouch'

kion · Post by **kion** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:38 am

A horse walks into a chemist..

emcee child · Post by **emcee child** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:03 am

what do u got if u have a green ball in ur left hand and a green ball in ur right hand?

total control of the jolly green giant.

how do u stop a rhino from charging?

take away it's credit cards.

one of my all time fav jokes:

a fly was hovering over a piece of shit that was stuck against a stick in the middle of the river. He thought to himself, " in a minute I'm gonna fly down onto that poo and eat it and it'll be the best thing I've ever had!"
but little did he know.. that just under the water, swimming upstream was a wild salmon.
The salmon looked at the whole situation and thought to himself, " in a minute the fly is gonna fly down onto that poo and eat it . As soon as he does, I'll leap out of the water and eat him and it'll be the best thing I've ever had!"
but little did he know.. that on the edge of the wood was a big brown bear.
The brown bear looked at the whole situation and thought to himself, "In a minute the fly is gonna fly down onto that poo and eat it . As soon as he does, the salmon will leap out of the water and eat him. As soon as the salmon jiggles his tail to leap I'll run out of the wood and grab him and it'll be the best thing I've ever had!"
but little did he know... that on the other side of the wood was a hunter.
The hunter looked at the whole situation and thought to himself "In a minute the fly is gonna fly down onto that poo and eat it . As soon as he does, the salmon will leap out of the water and eat him. As soon as the salmon jiggles his tail to leap the bear will run out of the wood and grab him. As soon as the bear grabs the salmon he'll be in range and i'll shoot him and make him into a rug and it'll be the best thing I've ever had!"
but little did he know.. that in the roots of the tree next to him was a small white mouse.
The mouse looked at the whole situation and thought to himself "In a minute the fly is gonna fly down onto that poo and eat it . As soon as he does, the salmon will leap out of the water and eat him. As soon as the salmon jiggles his tail to leap the bear will run out of the wood and grab him. As soon as the bear grabs the salmon he'll be in range for the hunter who'll shoot him and make him into a rug. As soon as the hunter goes to collect the bear's skin he'll leave his lunch box and I'll jump on his cheese sandwhich and it'll be the best thing I've ever had!"
But little did he know.. that in the tree above him was a ferral cat.
The Ferral cat looked at the whole situation and thought to himself "In a minute the fly is gonna fly down onto that poo and eat it . As soon as he does, the salmon will leap out of the water and eat him. As soon as the salmon jiggles his tail to leap the bear will run out of the wood and grab him. As soon as the bear grabs the salmon he'll be in range for the hunter who'll shoot him and make him into a rug. As soon as the hunter goes to collect the bear's skin he'll leave his lunch box and the mouse will jump on his cheese sandwhich. As soon as he's eating that sandwhich I'll pounce on him and it'll be the best thing I've ever had!"
So they all sat and waited.
.
.
.
when suddenly a freak gust of wind blew the fly onto the poo.
As soon as he touched it the salmon sprang from the water and snapped up the fly.
The moment the salmon jiggled it's tail to leap the bear came chundering out the wood and skewered the salmon in mid leap.
THe hunter cracked off a single shot that sent the bear's brains flying. Elated the hunter ran to claim his prize.
"CHEEEESE" yelled the mouse who sprang forth to devour his spoils.
The ferral cat, who had waited the longest, sprang from his perch but completely missed the mouse and landed in the river.

and the moral of the story is?

A lot of shit has to go down before a pussy gets wet.

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