Revenge against thieving flatmates

[missedthebus]

These little fuck pigs keep eating my cunting food, if its not my milk and eggs its eating the last of a pizza in the fridge and leaving one slice with a bite missing left. Im going fucking mental. I only moved in recently so I dont want to let the full wrath out on them yet and make them completely hate me, but SWEAR DOWN I catch someone eating my food again they're gonna get sparked.

So suggestions please Ninjas, how can I stop these thieving little fuck pigs from taking what is not theirs. Please suggest things which wont get me put in prison, or cause too much friction. Also things which are easy to do and very satisfying to reap the rewards - revenge - from.

[karmacazee]

KILL THEM ALL

[bandshell]

If they are women: hide razor blades inside their tampons.

[kingldub]

Kill them or failing that take a shit in their beds when they've gone out.

[Neurotik]

[horse]

[missedthebus]

[alien pimp]

as you usually deal with rats - leave there some poisoned food

[2manynoobs]

haha that's a good one

[Firkles]

two threads the same..... fools seldom differ

I'd go full wrath on them and have a facial twitch when you're doing so, like hte bloke out of police academy, no one fucks with people with a facial twitch, its like international sign of "stay away i am stabby mental"

[the acid never lies]

I once considered sabotaging my own food to dissuade the bastards that I used to share a kitchen with back when I lived in halls... never did though

[Bazzle09]

Show them these two threads, they will stop eating your food.

[NilsFG]

Butter the floor in front of the fridge. They'll fall. Hard.
Wake them up with a chainsaw.
Put a dead bird in their cereal boxes, they'll be surprised when they see it.

You can all check things about that on youtube. Do it homophobe..

[2manynoobs]

the dog semen in biscuit trick always works

[Firkles]

Put a dead bird in their cereal boxes, they'll be surprised when they see it.

Especially if it's Maddie

[8bitboi]

Spit in your own food !! its your Spit so its not gonna Hurt ya , and it will put a smile on your face If They Eat Anymore of your food ..


Or Make em Toast and before you Bring it out the kitchin for em , wipe all of your Arse-sweat over it,or dip your bell end in the tea/coffie (make sure its not too hot )


Simples !!

[missedthebus]

the dog semen in biscuit trick always works

I dont think Ive got it in me to jack off a dog, but fucking hilarious either way!

[alphacat]

Unscrew the shower head, insert one beef boullion cube, return shower head to normal;

when one of them goes to use the shower next and the hot water kicks in, they'll be hosed down with all the free soup they want.

And then go buy a miniature fridge and keep it inside your locked room.

[Neurotik]

Unscrew the shower head, insert one beef boullion cube, return shower head to normal;

when one of them goes to use the shower next and the hot water kicks in, they'll be hosed down with all the free soup they want.

Hooch is crazy..

[wormcode]

Get one of those locking mini-fridges, it will probably be worth the money in no time since you won't have to keep buying more food. They aren't huge but big enough to put the more important food in there.

This works for some things too, if they are too lazy to buy/cook their own food, they are probably too lazy to throw things out too: