Hilarious Pain Thread

[Plasmic aka Hanlo]

Worst pain 2009 new years eve when I stole someones wheeled BBQ and tried to take it home (about a mile journey) through Nottingham. Took a shortcut through the forest fields park, only to discover the most beautiful pile of leafs my drug-influenced eyes had seen ina long time, so I prepped the BBQ next to them, ran at it and did a front flip off the BBQ but as I made contact with it the spindly wheels buckled so threw me off course. I ended up rolling about 15 metres down hill and finally boshin my skull on some lousy lampost

"LADS ARE OUT!"

But fuck y'all haters that never had wasted fun. Miserable sods!

Addition!

New years eve 2005
Just seen the dumpest film: "Bruce Lee fights back from the grave"
He got ripped off by a taxi driver so did a brutal spin kick through the car window into the driver's face
I tried to copy it in the streets of this turd little village (thugs on tour!)
Victory!
But proper hacked my leg up, about 3" long and in through the muscle etc, was snowing too, leaving a big ol' trail o' blood
Anyway my mate's mum had to take me to the hospital. They hated me there cos I was drunk and wounded
Worst pain was when they'd stitched it all up and I left, but got travel sick on the way home and had to stop at a bus stop to vomit. Sadly the peeling-curling action of fruitful vomiting resulted in popping out all the stitches in m leg and the skin ripping more, protty grotty. Did a token vom consequently

loooooooooooool

[Plasmic aka Hanlo]

Had to reignite this thread ----id say constipation is maybe one of the worst pains - feel like im going to black out on the pan sometimes lol

[64hz]

black out

thats rough, ive never been stuck for a shit that badly

[Plasmic aka Hanlo]

Haha i got to stock up on my bran flakes these days!

[KeeveBC]

Fractured my left elbow twice on the bike. Both times I thought it was just a wee bash and the pain will go away in 5 minutes. Got back on the bike and hopped and it was the worst pain, both times. Was like an extremely dull pain and then my arm seized. The second time I had to drive 20 miles with one arm because none of my mates could fuckin drive! So each time I moved my arm too much for the gears much I got another insane blast of pain.

Either of those or the time I fell onto my shoulder and my collarbone was dislocated/moved. For weeks I couldn't lift my arm up so it was level with my shoulder and if it was moved to/past that point the pain was unbearable. First few days I could only wear vests, then when I put on a teeshirt and tried taking it off later I ended up with it stuck over my head and my arm upright too for about a minute struggling to get it off. Never wish anyone to be in that position.

Had heaps of cuts, bashes and shit before but those two were easily the worst.

[Plasmic aka Hanlo]

Yeaa broken bones are pretty sore!! I went down this steep hill on a trolley with my mate in Berlin, fell off and totally destroyed my left leg. My foot was round the wrong way haha and any time I tried to prop it back up it would flop back down - i actually had to get BACK in the trolley cos we were in the middle of a park and nowhere near a road for an ambulance to pick me up! Every little bump was insane pain but I think without the adrenaline rush & a little bit of weed the pain would have been sooo much worse!

[therzbm]

when you are banging a girl and your cock falls out and deflects off her vaginal area, like stubbing your cock. best pleasure followed by a sudden and intense pain, and then having to roll off the girl screaming in pain and explain yourself

[Swissdub]

worst pain ive had would probaly have to be a little session of cluster migranes i had.

Most intence pain ever, id rather rebreak my arm then get them again. When they strike i literally become imobile and go into the fetal position, they only lasted for maybe 10-15 minutes at a time, but fuck, first time i got one i thought it was a brain tumor or something, turned out it was from lack of sleep or something

[particle-jim]

I don't find being in pain particularly hilarious... that is all

[Swissdub]

I don't find being in pain particularly hilarious... that is all

this

[nicenice]

Worst pain?

Deep Heat on your balls

Lock thread

Under foreskin or your not a man.

Worst night ever.

[DRTY]

Crippled neck for a week.
Worst pain i have ever experienced.
Where you cant move your head/neck so you have to keep it too one side, if it moves a slight bit you get the worst pain ever shoot up your neck, and lasts for about a week or maybe more. So im walking around looking like a cripple with my head fixed in one position walking really slowly, that was the only funny bit. Trying to sleep is horrible...
This had happened like 4 times, worst pain ever trust!!
anyone else had it?

Had this about 3 weeks ago. Had to play a set like it too. Wasn't fun. Couldn't bop and had to turn my entire body to look around lol.

[JemGrover]

12 hour migraine when I was 14. Was the first one I ever had and I was alone in the house, totally freaking out 'cos I'd just crawled to the toilet and thrown up blood-coloured vomit. Crawled back out of the bathroom and my cat came over to investigate and started licking my face


Also; Women. Although it's less hilarious. Hmm.

[noam]

worst pain i've ever had was between two things

first one was sinusitis/infected tooth combo that i had for about a week since i was told i needed to see a dentist and then saw her and she told me to go to the doctor. either way, horrible horrible pain, get well scared about it happening again

probably the worst one though was when i was travelling and got sick in laos, started out as a dull pain on my right shin bone, ended up with a septic leg and cellulosis which looked like this

unfortunately you cant see the open bright green wound on my shin, and cant really make out the veiny paths of infected goo running through my decomposing skin cells

worst thing about that was the amount of fluid/pressure in my leg, felt like i had a broken shin bone for 12days

[johnkimble]

Some odd thing on my big toe---it wasnt broken or anything - i got it checked but there was nothing found
hurt like fucking hell when i even tried to raise the foot up
couldnt walk for two weeks
spraying deodorant on balls just for proper kicks

[Sheff]

treading on a plug or lego is pretty bad.

This

[finji]

breaking my arm when i fell out of a tree was pretty impressively painful.

But the most uncomfortable was definitiely when i had pityriasis rosea (a viral skin rash)

so ridiculously itchy and painful, and if i itched myself my skin would extrude (sp) some weird liquid. VILE.

[clifford_-]

motorbike accident bout 6 or 7 years ago, some dappy woman pulled out infront of me (i was doing a good 40mph), so after hitting my bollocks so hard on the tank it was left dented (and my pelvis chipped), i was thrown like a ragdoll over the bonnet and landed head first into the kurb. Not pleasent. Had balls the size of plumbs! Same colour too, was walking like john wayne for a good week or so, the dull stomah ache lasted for nearly a month after the accident. Still a big possiblity i might not ever be able to have kids...


Constipation is pretty bad too, used to get it as a kid in the middle of the night. Horrible feeling.

[Plasmic aka Hanlo]

motorbike accident bout 6 or 7 years ago, some dappy woman pulled out infront of me (i was doing a good 40mph), so after hitting my bollocks so hard on the tank it was left dented (and my pelvis chipped), i was thrown like a ragdoll over the bonnet and landed head first into the kurb. Not pleasent. Had balls the size of plumbs! Same colour too, was walking like john wayne for a good week or so, the dull stomah ache lasted for nearly a month after the accident. Still a big possiblity i might not ever be able to have kids...


Constipation is pretty bad too, used to get it as a kid in the middle of the night. Horrible feeling.

Could be a winner!

[Motorway to Roswell]

I've ass-knifed myself a fair few times.