Whats the most disgusting thing thats ever happened to you?

[cosby]

I tried to perform minor surgery on myself once.

I was 19, old enough to know better, in college without a primary care physician (holla at the United States for not giving a fuck about medical care for its citizens). I had an ingrown toenail that was causing a lot of pain, so I thought it'd be easy enough to cut away some excess skin. I went to the drug store and bought a boxcutter, a lighter, rubbing alcohol, and a roll of gauze (that got a good look from the cashier). I got home, went to work, made very very little progress and after 30 or so minutes of hacking at my foot decided I should leave this to a professional. This is pre-Web-MD, so I was doing it without any guidance whatsoever - I was doing it pretty much completely wrong.

When I went to the doctor, they asked if I had punctured the toe to relieve some of the swelling. "Uh... sure, yes".

[64hz]

just cut a large V shape in the top of you nail, it sort grows to fill in the v and pulls the ingrowness out, if ya get me. mind you, ive never had severe ingrown tonail so i dont know.

[laurent__duval]

It's always shit stories that come to mind with these disgusting threads...
Girls have the whole blood thing pretty much under control..
Vomit can be pretty bad...

OH - I picked up some sort of cheese recently that was packaged really well and in this box thing..English

quickest waste of money ever...

I can't even begin to describe what this stuff smelled like..putrifying human bodily fluids - the whitish ones

I think I could have handled putrifying sanguinous human bodily fluids,

but the white blood cell thing- it wasn't even zit like...
it was - stagnated rotten virulent bull pustule for crackers - I was mortified

It physically pushed me to the other side of the kitchen - I had to aggressively rekon with it - sitting there on my counter

That infected adrenal gland of a food went straight to the garbage out back..

i have quite a lot of experience with smelly cheese both english and french. i also have a fair amount of experience with american cheese. i'd say the cheese was probably nice and tasty you just needed to get past the smell thing. theres a french cheese called chaource that i swear to god is one of the worst smells you could imagine. once you get it in your mouth though its so creamy and mild. often with cheese the worst the smell the better the taste. most american cheese i've had has been bland and tasteless and by-and-large smell-less too!

do you remember what the cheese was called?

[therapist]

just cut a large V shape in the top of you nail, it sort grows to fill in the v and pulls the ingrowness out, if ya get me. mind you, ive never had severe ingrown tonail so i dont know.

Yeah ignore this.

[nowaysj]

I tried to perform minor surgery on myself once.

I was 19, old enough to know better, in college without a primary care physician (holla at the United States for not giving a fuck about medical care for its citizens). I had an ingrown toenail that was causing a lot of pain, so I thought it'd be easy enough to cut away some excess skin. I went to the drug store and bought a boxcutter, a lighter, rubbing alcohol, and a roll of gauze (that got a good look from the cashier). I got home, went to work, made very very little progress and after 30 or so minutes of hacking at my foot decided I should leave this to a professional. This is pre-Web-MD, so I was doing it without any guidance whatsoever - I was doing it pretty much completely wrong.

When I went to the doctor, they asked if I had punctured the toe to relieve some of the swelling. "Uh... sure, yes".

I should have my MD the number of times I've performed surgery. America FUCK YEAH!

[cosby]

just cut a large V shape in the top of you nail, it sort grows to fill in the v and pulls the ingrowness out, if ya get me. mind you, ive never had severe ingrown tonail so i dont know.

This is sort of correct, though really vague. I know how it's done now

Also, I wouldn't be able to do it myself without novocaine / passing out. Specialized tools help too - boxcutter was ultimately a bad look.

[deadcell]

ive shit myself n pissed n been sick on myself at the same time on acid that was disgusting, on the scheme of things

[nousd]

I tried to perform minor surgery on myself once.

I should have my MD the number of times I've performed surgery. America FUCK YEAH!

Self-surgery not exclusive to septics mate.

Now, about my vasectomy;
I've made the incision...
not too much blood
but I still wasn't pissed enough (cider/bianco/cointreau)
so it fuckn hurt
but i managed to locate the vas deferenses
white, slippery buggers and thicker than I thought
(probably why i was making so many girls pregnant, heh heh)
so i've had to pull em out with forceps and stick a chopstick under em
to get the clearance to take the cut
& me necks getting sore from looking down into the mirror
but I gotta be sure & do this right.
I slice thru one with the scalpel and the two ends slip back inside me balls
poking around, I finally grab one end, haul it out & cauterize it with a lighter.
Strangely, didn't hurt too much but smelt crook.
Eventualy, didn't worry about the other end
so that's probably why one testicle swells up when I come.
The other vas I managed to hold onto
so when I've cut it
I've been able to pull both ends taunt,
tie each in a knot
and staple shut the slit in me ball bag (I've never been real good at needlework)
This has taken about three-quarters of an hour
so it was no wonder me scrotum turned purple & blew up like a balloon the next day. Ouch.
But it worked...no more rugrats
cos me lady couldn't stand the sight
and left me soon after.

[nowaysj]

Wait, is that the most disgusting thing that ever happened to me?

[Neptune]

reading this thread.

[borrowed]

& me necks getting sore from looking down into the mirror

I like how halfway through slicing open your own nutsack you feel the need to note a slight pain in your neck

[grillis]

I tried to perform minor surgery on myself once.

I should have my MD the number of times I've performed surgery. America FUCK YEAH!

Self-surgery not exclusive to septics mate.

Now, about my vasectomy;
I've made the incision...
not too much blood
but I still wasn't pissed enough (cider/bianco/cointreau)
so it fuckn hurt
but i managed to locate the vas deferenses
white, slippery buggers and thicker than I thought
(probably why i was making so many girls pregnant, heh heh)
so i've had to pull em out with forceps and stick a chopstick under em
to get the clearance to take the cut
& me necks getting sore from looking down into the mirror
but I gotta be sure & do this right.
I slice thru one with the scalpel and the two ends slip back inside me balls
poking around, I finally grab one end, haul it out & cauterize it with a lighter.
Strangely, didn't hurt too much but smelt crook.
Eventualy, didn't worry about the other end
so that's probably why one testicle swells up when I come.
The other vas I managed to hold onto
so when I've cut it
I've been able to pull both ends taunt,
tie each in a knot
and staple shut the slit in me ball bag (I've never been real good at needlework)
This has taken about three-quarters of an hour
so it was no wonder me scrotum turned purple & blew up like a balloon the next day. Ouch.
But it worked...no more rugrats
cos me lady couldn't stand the sight
and left me soon after.

[nousd]

well, yu don't want uninvolved professionals messing around down there do you?
besides, saved myself $120

[grillis]

well, yu don't want uninvolved professionals messing around down there do you?
besides, saved myself $120

april fools? u could sell that story for at least $120

[nousd]

$2000 actually
and most of it is true
imagine if I'd really elaborated

P.S. I'm thinking of changing my mind & going to OAF next Friday. You?

[ch3]

I tried to perform minor surgery on myself once.

I should have my MD the number of times I've performed surgery. America FUCK YEAH!

Self-surgery not exclusive to septics mate.

Now, about my vasectomy;
I've made the incision...
not too much blood
but I still wasn't pissed enough (cider/bianco/cointreau)
so it fuckn hurt
but i managed to locate the vas deferenses
white, slippery buggers and thicker than I thought
(probably why i was making so many girls pregnant, heh heh)
so i've had to pull em out with forceps and stick a chopstick under em
to get the clearance to take the cut
& me necks getting sore from looking down into the mirror
but I gotta be sure & do this right.
I slice thru one with the scalpel and the two ends slip back inside me balls
poking around, I finally grab one end, haul it out & cauterize it with a lighter.
Strangely, didn't hurt too much but smelt crook.
Eventualy, didn't worry about the other end
so that's probably why one testicle swells up when I come.
The other vas I managed to hold onto
so when I've cut it
I've been able to pull both ends taunt,
tie each in a knot
and staple shut the slit in me ball bag (I've never been real good at needlework)
This has taken about three-quarters of an hour
so it was no wonder me scrotum turned purple & blew up like a balloon the next day. Ouch.
But it worked...no more rugrats
cos me lady couldn't stand the sight
and left me soon after.

Kinda missed your posts <3

[grillis]

P.S. I'm thinking of changing my mind & going to OAF next Friday. You?

wouldn't consider being anywhere else.. what's hindering you?

[nousd]

the venue & the crowd
if I don't rock up could you seek out Crooked Sounds (Dave & Matt) & say g'day for me. ta.

[PERCEPT]

My personal favourite was going down on my girlfriend when i was about 17, and i look up after a few minutes and my girlfriend starts screaming and pushes me off her. Look in the mirror and i've got blood all over my face, so i call her a dirty tnuc or something, and run off into the bathroom almost gagging. I'm washing my face for like 5 minutes and wandering why her blood keeps on returning until i realise i'm actually having a nosebleed. Didn't apologise for calling her a dirty tnuc either

[budsteq]

none of mine but some funny car related ones i've been told...

i heard a story about some mates that were hitch hiking in holland, for some reason one of them was wearing a boiler suit. they were waiting for ages to get picked up and the guy in the boiler suit (probably why they didnt get picked up) needed to take a shit in a ditch by the side of the road. as he was mid-shit they got a lift and he had to hurry it along, pulled his boiler suit back up over his shoulders and had shit all in the back of it. splattered all over his shoulders, back and neck. not good.


another one my dad told me was once back in the day when he was a youngster him and some mates were out drinking. my dad was driving back with his boys and his mate was in the back seat was totally arseholed and passed out. at some point he came to and puked straight onto the back of my dads head and it slipped his back. he puked all over his legs at this point.

thirdly, some friends of mine were driving to a rugby game when they were younger (my mate's were young and playing in a team so one guys dad was driving). this guys dad was ill but they were late and basically had to shit himself in the car mid-way, carry on driving and then sort the problem out when they got to the rugby club. can't imagine that being the nicest car to be in.

oh yeah, did break my banjo when i was about 18. freaked me the fuck out, standing with my knob in my hand with blood literally squirting out the end. wouldnt have been so bad but my girlfriend at the time decided to call her mate who "knew about this kind of stuff" for advice, this is while i'm stood starkers bleeding out my dick. the girl who she calls is at a house party and thought it would be a good idea to turn the music off and announce to a room full of people i sort of knew what had happened and if anybody had any advice, to everyones great amusement. was not happy at all...

um is this normal? Iv never had blood spurting out my knob end