Post here when you have had a poo

Pedro Sánchez · Post by **Pedro Sánchez** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:55 pm

faust.dtc wrote:Reading while you shit...I've never understood it.

I take my laptop in the shitter,I'd say about 40% of my posts on here were posted while I'm mid squeeze.

faust.dtc · Post by **faust.dtc** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:00 pm

Pedro Sánchez wrote:
faust.dtc wrote:Reading while you shit...I've never understood it.
I take my laptop in the shitter,I'd say about 40% of my posts on here were posted while I'm mid squeeze.

You do post a lot of shit.

Pedro Sánchez · Post by **Pedro Sánchez** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:01 pm

faust.dtc wrote:
Pedro Sánchez wrote:
faust.dtc wrote:Reading while you shit...I've never understood it.
I take my laptop in the shitter,I'd say about 40% of my posts on here were posted while I'm mid squeeze.
You do post a lot of shit.

Why thank you

firky · Post by **firky** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:21 pm

I had a Type 3 this afternoon (with reference to the Bristol Stool Chart). Very little after product to clean away.

therzbm · Post by **therzbm** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:33 pm

type 3s are the nicest, love it when you get a smooth delivery. you know the ones where you just sit on the toilet, squeeze for about 5 seconds and it literally just drops out of you in one piece, crimped off perfectly at the end, no fuss, one or two wipes and you are done. if only life was just 3s. ive yet to drop the kids off the pool today but fingers crossed for tidy one. always have to do the couple of sheets folded over and dropped in the water first to provide a soft touch down and minimize splash back (is there anything worse in life?)

as for blocking toilets, theres been many occasions where a log of mine has been too stiff and girthy for the U-bend, my mum always made me poke it down with a stick cause i would just leave it there festering, jammed on the cusp of the bend. particularly big deposits require shouting out my brothers name followed by 'come look at this'

i think i have mental issues

noam · Post by **noam** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:37 pm

an ex of mine blocked the toilet in my 2nd year student house

i didn't know it was blocked, took a piss on it, flushed the loo, overflow everywhere, drippin through the ceiling

i made her come back and clean it up (obviously i helped)

we split up soon after

Naan_Bread · Post by **Naan_Bread** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:37 pm

therzbm wrote: always have to do the couple of sheets folded over and dropped in the water first to provide a soft touch down and minimize splash back

You have just changed my life.

therzbm · Post by **therzbm** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:44 pm

Naan Bread wrote:
therzbm wrote: always have to do the couple of sheets folded over and dropped in the water first to provide a soft touch down and minimize splash back
You have just changed my life.

glad i could help my friend. i was aware of this technique for the majority of my solo pooing career, but id say only in the last few years have i recently employed a strict ritual of dropping a few sheets in below me before laying a brick, nothing worse than feeling that sharp cold splash invading your ring piece, especially when you know it could have been avoided. im especially vigilant when pooing in an unfamiliar location like a friends house or public toilet (but i think everyone avoids that altogether, nothing better than dropping a nice turd on your own throne) as the last thing you want is someone else's dirty piss water splashing up at you.

another technique is positioning yourself further forward or back on the seat and aim to slide the log off the side of the bowl, the downside of course is that this leaves skid marks (although this can sometimes be seen as a hilarious side effect and general 'fuck you' when dropping one at a friends/gfs etc).

hasezwei · Post by **hasezwei** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:55 pm

therzbm wrote: another technique is positioning yourself further forward or back on the seat and aim to slide the log off the side of the bowl, the downside of course is that this leaves skid marks (although this can sometimes be seen as a hilarious side effect and general 'fuck you' when dropping one at a friends/gfs etc).

but then your dick touches the toilet bowl which is just awful. especially in public places, sometimes i wonder who builds these toilets and why they don't think about that

but yeah dropping tissues for soft landing is probably one of the best discoveries i've made in my life

therzbm · Post by **therzbm** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:13 pm

yeh man how could i forget. its best to sit further back rather than forward to avoid the dick bowl contact (arguably even more horrible than splash back). my best friend's toilet has one of the worst shaped bowls ive ever encountered, its so low and weirdly shaped it feels like the seat isnt down when you sit on it, and my dick always touches the bowl in the normal position (the bottom not the front of the bowl, my dick isnt small but still you think they would have considered this shit when designing a toilet, its as if they were designed by women). i swear most of the time when i drop an average to large sized log there the thing is touching the bowl/water while still hanging out of me thats how small and badly the bowl is shaped.

faust.dtc · Post by **faust.dtc** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:45 pm

Tip: Dont wipe too high. It makes your intergluteal cleft smell like shit.

firky · Post by **firky** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:09 pm

And don't wipe too low, you get shit on your cuff.

PinUp · Post by **PinUp** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:22 pm

Number 4s are my regulars, all about having a high fibre diet!

jrisreal · Post by **jrisreal** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:30 pm

Anyone ever tried the toilet paper at Harkins? Is it really stretchy or is it just my local harkins?

Reamz · Post by **Reamz** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:04 pm

I shat on my bottom step one night when i was pissed....Stairs stunk for a week

minifletch · Post by **minifletch** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:15 pm

Went a few days once without shitting, was eating takeaways aswell... eventually went for one and it was so big it felt like my arsehole was splitting.

Went to wipe and the toilet paper was covered in blood

Never go a day without making sure I shit at least once.. speaking of which, off for one now

Words · Post by **Words** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:41 pm

yo has anyone tried shitting with their knees up? cant find a pic but kind of like

lifechanging

just try it

ahier · Post by **ahier** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:59 pm

so i need a shit all day. not too desperate at work, and new job, so think ill hold it off til i get home and really relish it.
end up not going home straightaway, meet friends who have been at cricket match for a pint. have two dark ales, feel pleased cos that will really getthe ball rolling. scope pub toilets, definitelynot shitable in and no toilet paper. no biggie, we are going to get train home now.
miss train number 1. starting to get aggy now, stomach is making itself known. wait half hour for next train. half hour train ridehome, as stomach is really letting me know its ready. lift from station to home is late. get home, realise friend is wanting me to drive him home, via dealer. get in car, drive. dealer is late, standard. drive twenty minuteround trip to his, feeling like i could shit myself any second. get home, go to toilet. walk in the door and realise builders have been in, and my own throne is no longer in existence. go downstairs to shitty tiny cramped toilet, prepare the bowl sit down.
nothing.

WTF

joehaynes1990 · Post by **joehaynes1990** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:06 pm

anyone else zoot up on the throne?
a most enjoyable experience

Shum · Post by **Shum** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:12 pm

Words wrote:yo has anyone tried shitting with their knees up? cant find a pic but kind of like

lifechanging

just try it

This man speaks the truth.

Don't knock it til you try it.

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