anti-jokes

[Sheff]

funny thread

[unwind]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well, there is no particular reason for it crossing the road - at least not the first time - it had somehow managed to escape its' pen and shamefully flap/hop/flap-hop its' way across the road that it happened to be particularly close to, after which feeding time was announced by a sound which was very familiar to the chicken. The chicken realised that in order to get its' daily sustenance it would HAVE to somehow make its' way back to the pen, which consequently required it to cross the road again.

[Neptune]

Why are these funnier than actual jokes?

[abs]

Yo mamas so old..

... she's probably going to die soon.

Yo mamas so fat..

.. your father no long finds her attractive and now their marriage is in trouble.

Yo mamas so dumb..

... she took an iq test and scored pretty low on it.


Yo mamas so fat..

.. she should consider changing her diet and exercising more often.

[mylon]

What did batman say to Robin before he got into the batmobile?

"Robin, get in the batmobile."

[ComfiStile]

You guys should check out 'dead baby jokes'. Like anti jokes, only sicker.

How do you stop a dead baby from swinging on a washing line?

With a shovel.

[ComfiStile]

Why did the monkey fall out of a tree?

Because it was dead.

[butter_man]

How long did it take the old man to cross the road?


Unfortunately he was run over and killed instantly.

[noam]

some people aren't getting the joke

[scattybeanhead]

that pig one is probably one of the funniest things i've read for a while.
well played for this thread jim

[kidshuffle]

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired"

Everyone laughed.

The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

sigged so i will nevr forget

[yoowan]

why did the kid fall off the swing?

because he had no arms

[Gewze]

why did the kid fall off the swing?

because he had no arms

[MasterA]

"Doctor doctor, I think I've broken my leg."
"Yes, I am afraid it's a terrible break, you may never walk again."

[Astral]

Knock Knock


Who's there?

Essex Police, We're here to serve and carry out an eviction order.

[say_whut]

You guys should check out 'dead baby jokes'. Like anti jokes, only sicker.

How do you stop a dead baby from swinging on a washing line?

With a shovel.

I've looked at some before and was crying with laughter

[Clean]

How do you fit 4 Gay men on 1 bar stoll?

You don't. You simple need to get the each of the gay men a bar stool.

[knell]

A man walks into a bar.... his crippling alcoholism is destroying his relationship with his family and threatening the future of his career.

[Viineri]

You can end every anti-joke with this: and suddenly it's 10 times more funnier

[noam]

A Jew, a Muslim and an Irisman all jump off a bridge - who hits the ground first??

Well, the answer to this question is reliant on many factors, a few of those would be who left the bridge first out of the three of them, the position during 'freefall', the clothing they were wearing and the weight and body shape of each of them. Surprisingly enough, it is unknown who out of the three people will hit the ground first without knowing these factors and more, but it would be prudent - assuming that the fall was from a height great enough to kill them - to take a moment to think about the families of each of the three people, and also to potentially address the issues at hand which would possibly have led to the circumstances where these three people were driven to commit this joint act of suicide.