anti-jokes

[tyger]

what do you call a guy called gerald?

gerald.

[sigbowls]

what do you call a guy that licks balls?

tyger

[therapist]

A thread devoted to jokes that intentionally aren't funny?

[wolf89]

A dog walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender realizes how silly this is, and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over and tells his wife about it, who ignores him. He begins to silently cry, knowing that his marriage is a lie and his life is falling into shambles.

[test_recordings]

A thread devoted to jokes that intentionally aren't funny?

The humour is in the irony, even though they aren't conventionally comical I've been in creases for much of this...

[Hircine]

Man walks into a bar. He has no job, his liver is starting to fail and his alcoholism is destroying his family.

[mr.ben_cardiff]

A thread devoted to jokes that intentionally aren't funny?

The humour is in the irony, even though they aren't conventionally comical I've been in creases for much of this...

bad jokes can be the best jokes, all about the delivery

[mr.ben_cardiff]

What kind of animal goes "Oooooooooo" ?


A cow with no lips

[mr.ben_cardiff]

A psycic midget has reportedly gone on a rampage.

Police are looking for a small medium at large

[Hircine]

What kind of animal goes "Oooooooooo" ?


A cow with no lips

dats the sound of da police

[particle-jim]

A dog walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender realizes how silly this is, and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over and tells his wife about it, who ignores him. He begins to silently cry, knowing that his marriage is a lie and his life is falling into shambles.

Pahahahaha Brilliant

quality thread revival, big ups

[mr.ben_cardiff]

So a new family walked into there new home and there was a mark on the wall... Mark, get off the wall

[JTMMusicuk]

what did the chicken say to the hamster?
nothing

[Pedro Sánchez]

*Knock Knock
--Who's There?
-Doctor Patel...
--Doctor Who?
-John, it's Doctor Patel and a man who's suffering with AIDS should be reserving his strength for things other than knock knock jokes, now let me in, I've brought your medication.

[Trichome]

(not really an anti-joke)
What is brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr Dre

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The holocaust.

Why is six scared of seven?
It wasn't. numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Why did the boy fall of his bike?
Because he was fatally struck by a bus. The boy later died of his injuries.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

To whom.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.

How do you make a plumber cry?
Brutally murder his entire family

A man walks into a bar, visibly upset. The bartender says "Why the long face?"
The man replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer"

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

[JTMMusicuk]

a bloke walks into a bar and asks for directions to the nearest museum, the bartender turns to him and says "im afraid im not too sure mate but they might know next door"
the man thanks the bartender and gets calmy on with his day

[Sexual_Chocolate]

A woman walks into a kitchen.

[JTMMusicuk]

A woman walks into a kitchen.

standard

[ehbes]

Why is six afraid of seven?

Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.

Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

[JBoy]

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree?

it was dead.

Knock knock, who's there?

A jahova's witness.