Professor Nonce's School for Nincompoops

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:13 pm

I see that there is an astounding level of ignorance regarding common matters of ornitholgy, zoology, biology and indeed a great range of other matters amongst the populace of this institution.

Therefore, I am willing to put forth a moritorium on sound thrashings and the like, and present to you a forum for discussion of such basic information that may enable said denizens to avoid looking utterly imbecilic in polite company.

Submit your pitiful questions FORTHWITH!

LEQ · Post by **LEQ** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:16 pm

How do you spell Ninconpoop..............?

randomhed · Post by **randomhed** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:16 pm

Can i go to the toilet sir?

kins83 · Post by **kins83** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:16 pm

Is it not ornithology? Who's the imbecile now?

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:18 pm

randomhed wrote:Can i go to the toilet sir?

Not in this classroom, never!

If you must relieve yourself, kindly remove your scuffy impertinance to the neccesarium.

boomnoise · Post by **boomnoise** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:19 pm

do birds have penises? how does bird sex work?

randomhed · Post by **randomhed** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:21 pm

gravious wrote:Not in this classroom, never!

Ahh shuckles, sir im too late.

Ive wet my pants :baby:

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:23 pm

boomnoise wrote:do birds have penises? how does bird sex work?

Finally, an interesting question Mr Noise!

No, birds do not have penises in the conventional sense. Both the male and females have reproductive orifices, which are aligned during the (usually very rapid) mating ritual for exchange of reproductive materials, i.e. avian spermatoza.

4linehaiku · Post by **4linehaiku** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:24 pm

What the fuck is up with giraffes?

boomnoise · Post by **boomnoise** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:24 pm

gravious wrote:
boomnoise wrote:do birds have penises? how does bird sex work?
Finally, an interesting question Mr Noise!

No, birds do not have penises in the conventional sense. Both the male and females have reproductive orifices, which are aligned during the (usually very rapid) mating ritual for exchange of reproductive materials, i.e. avian spermatoza.

i've seriously wanted to know this for years!

thank you sir.

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:26 pm

kins83 wrote:Is it not ornithology? Who's the imbecile now?

I see I have an attentive pupil!

Now work on your attitude boy, or you will serve out the term in the east-wing copying out bible passages without a sharpened quill.

kins83 · Post by **kins83** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:27 pm

boomnoise wrote:do birds have penises? how does bird sex work?

Birds mate by joining cloaca (which is basically an all purpose hole for pooing, laying eggs etc...). The male deposits a...erm....plug (sorry, sounds pretty grim) of sperm in the female when their 'holes' meet. And thats how eggs are made.

rickdias · Post by **rickdias** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:28 pm

*puts ma hand up* oo oo oo i got a question, what do ye do if a bird shits on yer car?

SLAP THE BIIATCH!!!!

kins83 · Post by **kins83** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:28 pm

gravious wrote:
kins83 wrote:Is it not ornithology? Who's the imbecile now?
I see I have an attentive pupil!

Now work on your attitude boy, or you will serve out the term in the east-wing copying out bible passages without a sharpened quill.

And I've even toned down my language (see above post - pooing not shitting). Do I get a gold star?

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:32 pm

kins83 wrote:
gravious wrote:
kins83 wrote:Is it not ornithology? Who's the imbecile now?
I see I have an attentive pupil!

Now work on your attitude boy, or you will serve out the term in the east-wing copying out bible passages without a sharpened quill.
And I've even toned down my language (see above post - pooing not shitting). Do I get a gold star?

Quite young sir, quite. But you will receive only the the stern admiration of your superior, a gift much greater than any mere tokenism I assure you.

randomhed · Post by **randomhed** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:32 pm

kins83 wrote:Birds mate by joining cloaca (which is basically an all purpose hole for pooing, laying eggs etc...). The male deposits a...erm....plug (sorry, sounds pretty grim) of sperm in the female when their 'holes' meet. And thats how eggs are made.

What happens if the male leaves this plug in her hole and soon after the female needs to empty a load. Surely the plug would get emptied along with the turdus. This 3 in one hole sounds a good idea but i can forsee problems occurring.

forensix (mcr) · Post by **forensix (mcr)** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:33 pm

How long does a pigeon live for on average?

thomas · Post by **thomas** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:33 pm

Vultures don't stalk or kill themselves yeh?

Why are they still birds of prey?

also, when will we evolve to have a built in sky+ remote?

LEQ · Post by **LEQ** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:34 pm

Do penguins have knees?

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:34 pm

LEQ wrote:How do you spell Ninconpoop..............?

One spells nincompoop as written

Professor Nonce's School for Nincompoops

Professor Nonce's School for Nincompoops

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