Who needs a girlfriend

Terpit · Post by **Terpit** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:49 am

http://www.vice.com/read/pool-noodle-girlfriend

This seems tame now:

Terpit wrote:I also know someone who claimed to put a bit of warm toilet tissue on the rim of the toiler and a bit under the seat and then he would get on his knees and fuck it with the seat down.

travis_baker · Post by **travis_baker** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:08 am

this is messed up man

Sexual_Chocolate · Post by **Sexual_Chocolate** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:14 am

dont even know what to say :\

JTMMusicuk · Post by **JTMMusicuk** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:15 am

similarly somebody at work gave me a detailed explanation once about how he used to roll up a news paper and stick it in his bed and fuck it

fiasko · Post by **fiasko** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:31 am

JTMMusicuk wrote:similarly somebody at work gave me a detailed explanation once about how he used to roll up a news paper and stick it in his bed and fuck it

brings a new meaning to danger wank, potential papercuts

Terpit · Post by **Terpit** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:47 am

What was your favorite thing about the pool noodle?
I think it was being able to put both hands on my hips while I worked. Also, as soon as I had an orgasm, it was nice to be able to just sigh and have a quick cleanup.

JTMMusicuk · Post by **JTMMusicuk** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:55 am

Terpit wrote:it was nice to be able to just sigh .

someone who is very content with their depressing life

Terpit · Post by **Terpit** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:19 pm

JTMMusicuk wrote:
Terpit wrote:it was nice to be able to just sigh .
someone who is very content with their depressing life

He's given up

__________ · Post by **__________** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:53 pm

I read that as "pot noodle girlfriend" about 10 times in a row.

weedlefruit · Post by **weedlefruit** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:59 pm

I think "pool noodle" is the funniest thing about it, and it will surely be a word I use more often.....

Was that not new to anyone else?

Hahaha pool noodle..........

heh heh heh.......

pool noodle......

joeki · Post by **joeki** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:54 pm

hahaha. Pool noodle..oh wait.

I know a guy who didn't wank at all. He just rubbed his penis against the mattress whilst lying face down on it. His mother cleaned up the next day.

fractal · Post by **fractal** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:01 pm

dirty ass floor in that room

Hircine · Post by **Hircine** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:03 pm

that's fucked up man.

idontreallygiveashit · Post by **idontreallygiveashit** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:07 pm

will this count towards breaking no-fap november?

fractal · Post by **fractal** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:19 pm

idontreallygiveashit wrote:will this count towards breaking no-fap november?

ask phigure, he's the commissioner of the fap police

ehbes · Post by **ehbes** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:35 pm

fractal wrote:dirty ass floor in that room

did you expect better from the man using a pool noodle to beat off...

joeki · Post by **joeki** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:39 pm

Main Entry: pool noodle
Part of Speech: n
Definition: a cylindrical foam tube, usu. brightly colored and hollow, used for swimming pool play
Example: Pool noodles are useful when learning to swim, for floating, for rescue reaching, and in various forms of water play.

this shit is actually in the dictionary? I'm shocked and appalled.

dubstepper · Post by **dubstepper** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:23 pm

fiasko wrote:
JTMMusicuk wrote:similarly somebody at work gave me a detailed explanation once about how he used to roll up a news paper and stick it in his bed and fuck it

brings a new meaning to danger wank, potential papercuts

holy shit i've wasted years of endless possibilities.

dubstepper · Post by **dubstepper** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:28 pm

£10 Bag wrote:I read that as "pot noodle girlfriend" about 10 times in a row.

yeh same ere, i was expecting to see a pot noodle pot made into a fanny.

topmo3 · Post by **topmo3** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:53 pm

lol why it is attached to the mirror

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