Lame jokes

wub · Post by **wub** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:20 pm

My girlfriend won't let me spank her arse cheeks during foreplay, so I glued them together.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

stappard · Post by **stappard** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:25 pm

LA_Boxers wrote:Whats yellow and dangerous??

Shark Infested Custard

major childhood flashback, well done sir

stappard · Post by **stappard** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:25 pm

CowardlyLion wrote:What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry!

wtf kind of joke is that? gtfo, seriously

Liam92 · Post by **Liam92** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 5:05 pm

Why was Tigger dirty?

Because he was playing with Pooh

jugo · Post by **jugo** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:02 pm

stappard wrote:
CowardlyLion wrote:What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry!

wtf kind of joke is that? gtfo, seriously

you probably didn't get it

gee, i'm a tree.....

alphacat · Post by **alphacat** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:16 pm

Q. What's the brown stuff between King Kong's toes?

A. Slow Natives.
____________________

Q. What's green and goose-steps?

A. Snotzis.
____________________

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on your doorstep?

A. Mat.
____________________

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?

A. Art.
____________________

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs buried in a pile of dead leaves?

A. Russell.
____________________

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a pool?

A. Bob.
____________________

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

A. Phil.

belalala · Post by **belalala** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:23 pm

what do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

...... a quarter pounder with cheese

volcanogeorge · Post by **volcanogeorge** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:41 pm

What's black and rhymes with Dr Dre?

Snoop Dogg.

NilsFG · Post by **NilsFG** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:22 pm

volcanogeorge wrote:What's black and rhymes with Dr Dre?

Snoop Dogg.

Actually, it's: What's black and rhymes with Snoop?

Because then, people could potentially think of poop.

volcanogeorge · Post by **volcanogeorge** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:36 pm

NilsFG wrote:
volcanogeorge wrote:What's black and rhymes with Dr Dre?

Snoop Dogg.
Actually, it's: What's black and rhymes with Snoop?

Because then, people could potentially think of poop.

Mind = blown

kentnz · Post by **kentnz** » Sun May 01, 2011 12:17 pm

Mike Hunt

kruptah · Post by **kruptah** » Sun May 01, 2011 12:45 pm

Mines only 3 inches........

But some women like it that wide.

apmje · Post by **apmje** » Sun May 01, 2011 12:53 pm

wobbles wrote:This is more of a lame pick up line.

Hey girl do you work at subway?

Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Haha, my lass actually works at Subway. Might use this...actually come to think of it, I think someone said something like this to her the other week.

ahier · Post by **ahier** » Sun May 01, 2011 2:57 pm

the wind must be afraid of commitment...

why else does it have so many socks?

(explain that one)

murky21 · Post by **murky21** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:56 am

Electric_Head · Post by **Electric_Head** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:57 am

What is green, purple and spins round and round and round.

A frog in a blender.

Terpit · Post by **Terpit** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:05 pm

You wanna hear my impression of an extractor fan?

I used to love tractors

Electric_Head · Post by **Electric_Head** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:07 pm

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

The sheep started to get to familiar to the sound of a zipper.

How do Aussies/New Zealanders find sheep in long grass?

Enjoyable.

kentnz · Post by **kentnz** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 9:25 pm

Electric_Head wrote:How do Aussies/New Zealanders find sheep in long grass?

Enjoyable.

A sheep shagging enthusiast told me the best way. Put their hind legs in your gumboots so they can't get away, you lead them towards a cliff so they push back and you rock the Velcro gloves for that extra grip.

lloydnoise · Post by **lloydnoise** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 9:32 pm

NilsFG wrote:
volcanogeorge wrote:What's black and rhymes with Dr Dre?

Snoop Dogg.
Actually, it's: What's black and rhymes with Snoop?

Because then, people could potentially think of poop.

ACTUALLY, it's; What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

unless you've been drinking Guinness all day, then yours would work

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