In a jam! I Need ninja relationship advice, NOW!

[SheepShagga]

[TomatoAndBasil]

whhhhaaaaaa.....

You know you've really lost your mind when....

... ... Aw man!

[Mason]

havnt read op as soirreee is foed but omg lol these gifs are rediculous

[kidshuffle]

OP is worth the read tbh

[deadly_habit]

[Mason]

oh god just read op what the fuck is wrong with you soiree

[Forum]

[Soul_Of_Seun]

So, as some of you know there's been a war brewing and conspiring against all that is and ever will be Soiree.

In a bit of a pickle, as my facebook has made clear, I have a daughter I haven't met yet with "Soul Of Seun", who deserves a spanking, even though she's enjoy it. I kid, sorta confused with what the fuss is all about, sure you could stoke a clever musician who also freestyles, and has some other "special" talents. SOS and I really connected, and I have fond memories of out little spatty lingo making fun of each other, as she says it, "I'm an easy target" and while that may be true, I feel rather justified in my despair, Other than my brother, I don't get along with my family, and to have to opportunity to bond with my chosen family is a chance I would do anything for, please no longer shall I live a day once more to the tune of bitter lovelessness, I've out worn my welcome here and it's time to move on to providing for those which receive and replicate love together in a bond of trust, music, and unity.

Also the "KuKu" has been plotting her plan of Soiree Seduction for the past 15 years. I'd like to be engaged, it's clear maybe a second hand wedding proposal, in conjunction with an outlandishly well connected plot for musical subversion, which yes, is in fact the coolest thing ever, or at least the most sampled musician of all time, that would rule out James Brown and the Amen break for first place, respectively. And I shall forever honer thou's name, KiKi as I say. Yes, given, and accepted forever, as I know you, and know it's never who you know and rather the astonishing woman I wish was at my side.

Then "Mozle", she is best known to you as the singer Cha Cha from the album Black Sun by Kode9 and Spaceape, The slightly underrated conceptual masterpiece takes you through a journey of lust, dishonor, and abandonment, where the world is overturned and there is a social upheaval, a revolution. I've since seen her a few times is basic passing and it's been amazing to watch her change every year or so, once out side a Kode9 show in San Francisco she just beamed, as I watches the mist of a sweat dripped dance floor and there she was across the room, Kode9 drops Mountain Dread March by Mala. This is an ongoing affair, bleeding in and out, far and away the one I've lost the most sleep over. Every so often people will refer to me as "The One" and they obviously have yet to meet "Mozle"/

and without further ado, I present to you the pickle, I have a bit of a hankering for helping the needy, so it would seem obvious that helping a traveling punk rocker in need of a place to crash would be no harm, but people, 8 months of no affection, and everyone is working for Cat Power, I've settled for affection of imperfection, and feel nothing but shame, with even less understanding of what the fuck I'm even doing here, and even less understanding of what the flying fucktard this complete stranger is doing here, and all I have is myself to blame for the fact that I could've enjoyed the weekend with my friends, and instead just did my thing playing drums, keys, and guitar, and likely to have played all of those instruments with more passion than the average player. I thought musicians got all the chicks, or was that the DJs, anyway, I want BUFO and MORT and BERO, Jenik, Toe, Rshe, and/or Choke, not this 24 yo traveling bag of bones.

///

Someone save me, I'm already feeling ashamed and regretful/

I feel like I don't even know you anymore.

[Molzie]

do you get pm's from soiree too soul?

[Soul_Of_Seun]

Yea and I never know WTF is going on. This guy's posts are just...I can't even.

[AxeD]

I must admit, it is daily that I refer to Soiree as 'The One'.

Maybe this is the result of some dmt overdose or something, it's pretty bad whatever it is.

[deadly_habit]

[kidshuffle]

^ /thread

[ezza]

does the guy think he's in relationships with different forum members?? hahah

[garethom]

^ jealous

[syrup]

Either fuck off or get some professional help

[SCope13]

Just gonna throw this out there: if my dog was as fucked up as Soiree I would put it out of its misery and just have it offed.

[SCope13]

Although I would totally pay for a biography of Soiree written by someone on the outside looking in. Genuinely curious as to how you get to the point he's at.

[magma]

I'm undecided as to whether he might just be using the forum as some sort of creative writing practise.

I mean, clearly he needs the practise...

If it's not that then the truth might be too terrible to bear.

[untightled]

i think ive landed in the weird part of the internet just now