Rich Tea Dad or Evil Hand?

pk- · Post by **pk-** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:23 pm

Well if we're talking absolutes, and Evil Dad really is a Machiavellian genius born of the steaming thick black seed of Satan himself, I'd have to go with the Rich Tea Hand and invest in some bubblewrap and clingfilm to protect it.

There's no predicting evil fathers, life would just be too precarious with that crazy bastard around.

habitualbeatscamp · Post by **habitualbeatscamp** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:28 pm

pk- wrote: There's no predicting evil fathers, life would just be too precarious with that crazy bastard around.

Thats what I'm sayin.

At least you will come to terms that the tea biscuit hand is gonna fuckin dissolve eventually. Granted there isn't pain involved, it wouldn't be that bad of a deal. An evil dad for sure won't help you out with the ordeal of a lost hand.

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 1:57 pm

Okay, so we have had some interesting arguments for both having a Rich Tea Hand and an Evil Dad. Thank you all for your contributions.

I am now canvassing opinion on whether you would prefer to have a Rich Tea Dad or an Evil Hand.

So, which would it be?

datura · Post by **datura** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:00 pm

Wasn't there a film with an evil hand?

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:02 pm

datura wrote:Wasn't there a film with an evil hand?

Yes. A number of them in fact. The Hand and Reanimator are just two.

There is also a medical condition called Alien Hand Syndrome.

Feel free to watch these films or read up on the syndrome in order to inform your answers.

badger · Post by **badger** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:09 pm

evil hand of course. i've already made clear my dislike for rich tea so an entire rich tea dad would not be good. even if someone did actually like the taste of rich teas (god knows how) then they would be unable to eat their father so it would be wasted. furthermore i don't even see how a rich tea dad would even be able to reproduce

the benefits of an evil hand are clear to everyone i'm sure

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:10 pm

badger wrote:furthermore i don't even see how a rich tea dad would even be able to reproduce

But the fact is, he has. This may mean that you have some rich tea DNA.

badger · Post by **badger** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:13 pm

definitely prefer an evil hand though. with a rich tea dad you may well have any part of your body made of rich tea. i'm sure it would be much more sensible to have what you definitely know is an evil hand rather than ending up with all manner of rich tea body parts that you weren't aware of

shonky · Post by **shonky** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:20 pm

Is it possible to go for a pair of evil hands and both rich tea parents?

Or evil tea hands and rich parents?

Or rich tea hams?

badger · Post by **badger** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:26 pm

i like the rich tea ham idea. good outside the box thinking there

datura · Post by **datura** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:30 pm

cheddars with bacon bits...mmmm

spooKs · Post by **spooKs** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:57 pm

I'd like to begin my highly anticipated excursion into this discussion by just taking one moment to praise the efficiency and good measures of today's discussion leader, Mr. Contakt. And that stretches to include the sentiments of the Hideout as a collective, doubtless. Of that I have no doubt. I am certain.

Furthermore, I would like to stress the difficulty I have had in considering considering my own response to the problem, the foremost reason for this difficulty being the scant factual information on the actual physiology of the proposed 'rich-tea biscuit hand'.

For, and I put it to all involved, that I am endeavouring to forward an important and gravely serious matter in contemplating the problem at 'hand' (I trust I have not alienated my more high-brow readers with this amiable play on words I utilise purely to endear me to the lower-brow participants).

The matter is this: are we merely discussing the question of having ONE hand against having the aforementioned Evil Father?

I put this to you in light of what some members of the discussion group seem to have inadvertently raised about the short life, and inevitable loss of the biscuit hand. If the question I now raise is one of impudence and audacity, I am truly apologetic.

pk- · Post by **pk-** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:45 am

Mr Spooks I regret to inform you that ship has sailed. The votes were cast, the balot taken, the decision made. We have been given much more pressing matters to peruse by our resident Riddler-in-Chief; towit, the prospect of a hand of pure evil and malice that claws at your testicles and sticks its nails into your eyes without a moment's notice, or a kind, loving father made of wheat flour, sugar, vegetable oil, and malt extract who disintegrates when it rains and flees at the sight of a steaming cup of char.

Once again I think I would have to go for the confectionary option, for a hand out of control is no friend at all. I would be mightily distressed to awaken one morning only to find an angry fist halfway up my colon, and even more dismayed to find it was my own.

kidlogic · Post by **kidlogic** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:44 am

Im going to have to go with the evil hand. Then you always have a scapegoat, an excuse for everything. You can always fashion some sort of restraint for bedtime to keep it from getting too mischeivious while you doze, and a "straight-glove" if you will for situations when you cant have it screwing off whilist you're awake, say if you go to mass or are babysitting a small dog.

The rich tea dad would surely have disintegrated long before you were old enough to even know him, thus leaving you to grow up without a father and with all the problems that accompany that.

I realize the past discussion is over, but since Im late to the meeting let me just quickly say that I would prefer the evil dad. Had you grown up with an evil dad you would have a different set of values based on what he has taught you as you have grown up, and therefore be free from all the social mores which keep you from truly embracing an evil dad. It was only stated that he is evil, not that he doesnt love you, and to have a James Bond Villian type father figure could definatly have some advantages, such as wealth, a cool hide out on a deserted island, access to a death ray/doomsday device, loose women in and about the family compound, etc.

Having a rich tea hand would just be uncomfortable until it fell off, and would probably leave you such a miserable fuck by your twenties that you would become someone else's evil dad.

Can I vote for Rich Ham Tea to be included in the next debate somehow?

pdomino · Post by **pdomino** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 1:28 pm

Id definately rather have a hand of biscuit, but its meant to be WHEATABIX HANDS

collige · Post by **collige** » Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:04 am

I want the hand

knell · Post by **knell** » Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:09 am

woop woop oldskewlz

bright maroon · Post by **bright maroon** » Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:59 am

ridiculousness

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Coppola · Post by **Coppola** » Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:19 am

Way to ruin a thread Bright Maroon.

3rdeye · Post by **3rdeye** » Sat Jul 17, 2010 4:05 am

ahh nice, i remember this thread, one of my favourite ever

Rich Tea Dad or Evil Hand?

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