Great chat up lines

legend4ry · Post by **legend4ry** » Sat Feb 16, 2008 7:34 am

"I'm going to be honest, by looking at all the girls here, you ain't going home with anyone, if you want though we can go upstairs now just so you don't go home unhappy"

parson · Post by **parson** » Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:32 am

excuse me i just wanted to ask you something, you're really pretty by the way, uhm could you spot me $10 i don't have any money

ivysomething · Post by **ivysomething** » Sat Feb 16, 2008 11:49 pm

this guy stopped me on the street on new years...

his pick up line was a song he wrote for me while his car was parked in the middle of the street, blocking traffic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRjbOcp0PI0

-drix- · Post by **-drix-** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:57 pm

Get your coat love, I've got a knife!

dubloke · Post by **dubloke** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:06 pm

*holds up a hankerchief to the girl* 'does this smell like chloroform to you?'

stanton · Post by **stanton** » Tue May 27, 2008 8:53 pm

Upon approaching a lady of diminutive stature one should compliment her on slenderness and aesthetically pleasing ambience, reassuring her that height is not an issue and that polite gentlemen, such as yourself, have a great fondness for ladies of a petite nature.
If this approach seems to be winning favour, then take the afore mentioned lady for a drink and continue to compliment her on her appearance and general demure.
At this juncture one should now begin to lay focus upon specific parts of the ladies body, especially the hands. Perhaps make a playful comparison between your hands and hers, just for fun but to also show how manly you are.
This is the crux of the chat up situation, this is when you need to make your move. Whilst complimenting her on her meagre hand span, use these exact words...
"My dick would look massive in your hands."
Guaranteed to work.

Co-authored by Misters Stanton and BLZDub, 27-05-08

delendi · Post by **delendi** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:22 pm

ivysomething wrote:this guy stopped me on the street on new years...

his pick up line was a song he wrote for me while his car was parked in the middle of the street, blocking traffic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRjbOcp0PI0

i hope you went out with him.

delendi · Post by **delendi** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:23 pm

stanton wrote:Upon approaching a lady of diminutive stature one should compliment her on slenderness and aesthetically pleasing ambience, reassuring her that height is not an issue and that polite gentlemen, such as yourself, have a great fondness for ladies of a petite nature.
If this approach seems to be winning favour, then take the afore mentioned lady for a drink and continue to compliment her on her appearance and general demure.
At this juncture one should now begin to lay focus upon specific parts of the ladies body, especially the hands. Perhaps make a playful comparison between your hands and hers, just for fun but to also show how manly you are.
This is the crux of the chat up situation, this is when you need to make your move. Whilst complimenting her on her meagre hand span, use these exact words...
"My dick would look massive in your hands."
Guaranteed to work.

Co-authored by Misters Stanton and BLZDub, 27-05-08

hahahaha. BLZDub's pretty fit...

dubluke · Post by **dubluke** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:24 pm

stanton wrote:Upon approaching a lady of diminutive stature one should compliment her on slenderness and aesthetically pleasing ambience, reassuring her that height is not an issue and that polite gentlemen, such as yourself, have a great fondness for ladies of a petite nature.
If this approach seems to be winning favour, then take the afore mentioned lady for a drink and continue to compliment her on her appearance and general demure.
At this juncture one should now begin to lay focus upon specific parts of the ladies body, especially the hands. Perhaps make a playful comparison between your hands and hers, just for fun but to also show how manly you are.
This is the crux of the chat up situation, this is when you need to make your move. Whilst complimenting her on her meagre hand span, use these exact words...
"My dick would look massive in your hands."
Guaranteed to work.

Co-authored by Misters Stanton and BLZDub, 27-05-08

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YOU LEGENDS

stanton · Post by **stanton** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:34 pm

Delendi wrote: hahahaha. BLZDub's pretty fit...

and he has massive hands.

That line was his work to be honest, I just edited the delivery a bit.

fused_forces · Post by **fused_forces** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:47 pm

-drix- wrote:Get your coat love, I've got a knife!

Im gonna try that 1 tomora

swomp · Post by **swomp** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:55 pm

"Excuse me - do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize?"

fused_forces · Post by **fused_forces** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:57 pm

Its not rape cos u love it!

plastician · Post by **plastician** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:40 am

Complimenting a girl on her having "Lovely Elbows", "Extraordinary Collar Bones" or "Tremendous Knee Joints" has never really been taken in the correct light in my previous attempts.

Telling girls you work as a Rope Factory Caretaker, a Scarecrow Convention Judge or a Marmite Viscosity Analyst doesn't seem to rub too well either.

Yep. I had a lot of fun in the days of being single, a lot of lonely yet self banterous nights out have led to some great pub story telling sessions.... my fave one ever though (and this one worked) was on a pure freestyle attempt to get chatting at the bar one night.... I'm in the blue and she's red.

"would you like to come home with me and watch the end of Jungle Book?.... afterwards we can play Lego"........

"You like Lego???"

"Yeah - I do like Lego. What's your favourite board game? Are you a connect 4 person?? You look like a buckaroo player to me!"

"I'm not big on board games but I like playstation... what the hell is your thing with toys and boardgames anyway??!!!"

"I love boardgames my favourite is RISK"

"Risk?????? What's that??"

"Basically I've got Chlamidia, we'll go back to mine and do it without a johnny - that's RISK"

Luckily for me she was a rare female who could tell the whole time I was messing around and actually laughed. 99.9999999999% of the time, banter of this sort has backfired and resulted in half the female population in Croydon thinking I actually do work as a Freelance Biscuit Photographer.

von · Post by **von** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:49 am

ivysomething wrote:this guy stopped me on the street on new years...

his pick up line was a song he wrote for me while his car was parked in the middle of the street, blocking traffic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRjbOcp0PI0

LOL i remember us talkin about this a whiiiiiiile back

Good to see you about though..

mickledan · Post by **mickledan** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:49 am

hahaha Plastician

I hope that renewed your faith in not only spontinaity*

but in women in general, it did mine!

*did i just make that up?

von · Post by **von** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:53 am

Had to sig a couple of them lyrics.

lol @ this NOT getting you sex tbh.

delendi · Post by **delendi** » Wed May 28, 2008 6:25 am

lol love you spandexician

BLZDub · Post by **BLZDub** » Wed May 28, 2008 9:15 am

Delendi wrote:
stanton wrote:Upon approaching a lady of diminutive stature one should compliment her on slenderness and aesthetically pleasing ambience, reassuring her that height is not an issue and that polite gentlemen, such as yourself, have a great fondness for ladies of a petite nature.
If this approach seems to be winning favour, then take the afore mentioned lady for a drink and continue to compliment her on her appearance and general demure.
At this juncture one should now begin to lay focus upon specific parts of the ladies body, especially the hands. Perhaps make a playful comparison between your hands and hers, just for fun but to also show how manly you are.
This is the crux of the chat up situation, this is when you need to make your move. Whilst complimenting her on her meagre hand span, use these exact words...
"My dick would look massive in your hands."
Guaranteed to work.

Co-authored by Misters Stanton and BLZDub, 27-05-08
hahahaha. BLZDub's pretty fit...

Ah shucks. I have only met you in dark clubs, in the natural light I'm hideous. My hands are huge though...

donkey · Post by **donkey** » Wed May 28, 2008 9:28 am

BLZDub wrote:Ah shucks. I have only met you in dark clubs, in the natural light I'm hideous. My hands are huge though...

?

Great chat up lines

Who is online