What are we doing at this moment in time?

[forensix (mcr)]

Any jobs going at your "wacky" call centre Kins sounds like a barrell of laughs?

[gwa]

They hold sumo wrestling tournaments in paddling pools full of foam balls. They have to form teams with wacky names (like pub quiz teams) and attach kerrrazy photos of themselves to the "team wall". The boss says things like "Hey, who wants to win a Creme Egg? First one to get the phrase 'that's tremendous' into their next call..."

And they're coached in "Above the Line Language", so they only ever say things like "I'd love to" or "I'd be happy to" instead of "I must".

I've worked in some bad corporate environments, but that sounds fucking abhorrent. Uck. I'm actually creeped out by that.

You should treat all their efforts with the massive disinterest they deserve - sounds fucking horrific. It's as if getting everyone to act like childrens' tv presenters is somehow the solution to everything.

Gun them down and gut them like fish, it'll make the world a better place

Oh mate, you wouldn't believe the number of times I've fantasised about that!!!

Where do you work?

[kins83]

Any jobs going at your "wacky" call centre Kins sounds like a barrell of laughs?

lol yes mate. The staff turnover is incredibly high. I've escaped the call centre now and I work in an analytical role which isn't as bad, but yeah, we are always recruiting!

@gwa I'd rather not say. Someone posted on bebo, slating it, and bebo got blocked from work pc's. If I lost dsf I'd deffo go postal.

[shonky]

Actually we had some customer service training course where we were told that the words "can't" "won't" or "wouldn't" were all unsexy and to use alternatives with a more positive vibe.

Looking forward to the day when you can go to the docs and they say "no, it's not cancer, it's radical cell growth with new improved mortality efficiency"

[dr ddd]

Holy shit this job is doing my head in. Boring and repetitive, and sitting next to a girl who's had her personality and charisma entirely removed.

I've just been fantasising about smashing a random stranger's face in repeatedly with a brick. Is office boredom really the cause of the "increase" in violent crime?

I think it might well be. If it wasn't for the SNH, I'd have gone mental. Too many people in this department are into analysis and nothing else. The business is one of these hyper-friendly companies too, which is alright in small doeses, but other than that is just enraging. Charlie Brooker has actually mentioned the place!

"Then we visit a different kind of call centre: a smiley one belonging to XXXXXXXX (better edit it out in case 'the man' is watching). The thinking here is that the happier the staff, the happier the customer. So the staff are forced to be happy.

They hold sumo wrestling tournaments in paddling pools full of foam balls. They have to form teams with wacky names (like pub quiz teams) and attach kerrrazy photos of themselves to the "team wall". The boss says things like "Hey, who wants to win a Creme Egg? First one to get the phrase 'that's tremendous' into their next call..."

And they're coached in "Above the Line Language", so they only ever say things like "I'd love to" or "I'd be happy to" instead of "I must".

It's the most terrifying, awful place I've ever seen, and it's the size of the National Exhibition Centre, for Christ's sake. It's madness. Any sane person working there would pray daily for a massacre. As the gunmen burst in, firing indiscriminately, the first genuine smile in six months would spread wide across your face, and you'd leap, giggling, into the line of fire."

if they want you all to be happy why dont they just give you all booze... works for me

maybe we should start a new thread:


"The SNH saved my working life"

[frebentos]

Looking forward to the day when you can go to the docs and they say "no, it's not cancer, it's radical cell growth with new improved mortality efficiency"

HAHAHA.

[kins83]

Actually we had some customer service training course where we were told that the words "can't" "won't" or "wouldn't" were all unsexy and to use alternatives with a more positive vibe.

Looking forward to the day when you can go to the docs and they say "no, it's not cancer, it's radical cell growth with new improved mortality efficiency"

lol you leave with a smile on your face thanks to all that positivity, then moments later you realise you've been well and truly duped.

Dr ddd - that thread is an excellent idea!

[shonky]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

[kins83]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

This makes me sad.

[shonky]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

This makes me sad.

You and me both sunshine

[dr ddd]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

it's what u make of it grumpy bum

[shonky]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

it's what u make of it grumpy bum

Or maybe some people are just more easily amused

[kins83]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

This makes me sad.

You and me both sunshine

To be fair, this place does still get me through the working day. And the injokes do seem to have fizzled out recently. Don't give up Shonky!

[dr ddd]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

it's what u make of it grumpy bum

Or maybe some people are just more easily amused

No - i dont mean that. I mean it hasnt been put there specifically for amusing and entertaining people without their input.... more: if you want stimulation to come from it, you have to sow the seeds, water and nurture it a bit as well...

but, then again, i am also easily amused

[shonky]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

it's what u make of it grumpy bum

Or maybe some people are just more easily amused

No - i dont mean that. I mean it hasnt been put there specifically for amusing and entertaining people without their input.... more: if you want stimulation to come from it, you have to sow the seeds, water and nurture it a bit as well...

I did, two years ago, but it's becoming an ever barren field.

but, then again, i am also easily amused

Apparently

[dr ddd]

but, then again, i am also easily amused

Apparently

I dont see that as a bad thing. Enjoying the little things in life gets me through the day with a smile.

[shonky]

but, then again, i am also easily amused

Apparently

I dont see that as a bad thing. Enjoying the little things in life gets me through the day with a smile.

Oh it's not bad at all, I just don't possess it. Quite jealous as it goes

[dubluke]

kins i feel for you

[forensix (mcr)]

"The SNH saved my working life"

That used to be true, now it's just ongoing injokes and not really that good any more.

yeah I think it just goes through periods - the banning of board raids was the begining of the end

Church of Ham forum anyone? I reckon those Students need some advice during this "stressful" exam period

[kins83]

kins i feel for you

Cheers mate! I'm now more troubled by my internet stalker now though...