love

[theevilgirl]

my life is like "i love..." without the "you"



and no....no budds.

[gena]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

[pdomino]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

Run Get a drink.
Nowt better than being chased, women dont do enough 'chasing'.... pussies.

[theevilgirl]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

[gena]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

[theevilgirl]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

neither am I, thats why i am forever burned with single-dom.

id rather fall in love and get hurt then feel the way i do.... its almost like im scared to be in a relationship now cuz i dont know what its like....almost like a guy...im scared to commit to someone....and invest time in something that could possibly work....and be co-dependent. ive gotten so used to doing everything on my own that to compromise constantly is like foreign to me. and i really hate that feeling....

especially when all my friends come to me for relationship advice...and im right...ugh.

[bellybelle]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

yeah neither am i, tbh. i think maybe just relax.....fill your time when not spent with him doing as many different things as you can think of just to pull up a lil. that way, when you come back to it, you know its legit...

besides.....saying "I love you" is meaningful.....but living it is more. You don't have to say you're in love with him to say you're in love with him. And you can do that in a non-threatening way because sometimes, people get scared with the severity of the words. If you just show him, tho, it will still be there.

[gena]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

yeah neither am i, tbh. i think maybe just relax.....fill your time when not spent with him doing as many different things as you can think of just to pull up a lil. that way, when you come back to it, you know its legit...

besides.....saying "I love you" is meaningful.....but living it is more. You don't have to say you're in love with him to say you're in love with him. And you can do that in a non-threatening way because sometimes, people get scared with the severity of the words. If you just show him, tho, it will still be there.

I'm doing my best to relax and get occupied with other things as well. He wants to take things slow for a good reason and I respect that. I'll give hime some time to sort his shit out since I can tell he's really making an effort to show me that he cares about me (without me asking for it). It looks like we might want the same thing in the long run, I just hope we'll get there before my patience run out Think I'll just go with your suggestion, stay away from words and just show him how I feel in other ways

[gena]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

neither am I, thats why i am forever burned with single-dom.

id rather fall in love and get hurt then feel the way i do.... its almost like im scared to be in a relationship now cuz i dont know what its like....almost like a guy...im scared to commit to someone....and invest time in something that could possibly work....and be co-dependent. ive gotten so used to doing everything on my own that to compromise constantly is like foreign to me. and i really hate that feeling....

especially when all my friends come to me for relationship advice...and im right...ugh.

To compromise... that's an artform... I'm probably a nightmare sometimes with my bad temper and lack of patience , but if you really want to be with someone, you have to swallow a bit of your pride and independance (to a certain level). Might be worth it

[theevilgirl]

My situation:

I've fallen in love with this person, but I'm too afraid to tell him cos he says he wants to take things slow with me for several reasons... I'm not used to keep my mouth shut as I don't like playing games. I usually tell it like it is. I'm so frustrated I think I'm gonna burst!
Best thing to do is probably to make a u-turn and just run the other way before I get hurt.

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

neither am I, thats why i am forever burned with single-dom.

id rather fall in love and get hurt then feel the way i do.... its almost like im scared to be in a relationship now cuz i dont know what its like....almost like a guy...im scared to commit to someone....and invest time in something that could possibly work....and be co-dependent. ive gotten so used to doing everything on my own that to compromise constantly is like foreign to me. and i really hate that feeling....

especially when all my friends come to me for relationship advice...and im right...ugh.

To compromise... that's an artform... I'm probably a nightmare sometimes with my bad temper and lack of patience , but if you really want to be with someone, you have to swallow a bit of your pride and independance (to a certain level). Might be worth it

oh no trust i realize this....but boys only want me for one of two things....

friends....or fuck....

and i have been approached by some rather brag worthy fellas but...thats not me...i want more then that....and i try to be patient but like you...i dont like wasting my time.

I KNOWWWW what i want....and there are some things i dont want to compromise...i dont wanna fuck u in order to be with u...i wanna be with u and then yea well hump like bunnies...but give ME a chance first.

at least after the FIRST FRICKEN DATE! if u can manage that...

[gena]

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

neither am I, thats why i am forever burned with single-dom.

id rather fall in love and get hurt then feel the way i do.... its almost like im scared to be in a relationship now cuz i dont know what its like....almost like a guy...im scared to commit to someone....and invest time in something that could possibly work....and be co-dependent. ive gotten so used to doing everything on my own that to compromise constantly is like foreign to me. and i really hate that feeling....

especially when all my friends come to me for relationship advice...and im right...ugh.

To compromise... that's an artform... I'm probably a nightmare sometimes with my bad temper and lack of patience , but if you really want to be with someone, you have to swallow a bit of your pride and independance (to a certain level). Might be worth it

I KNOWWWW what i want....and there are some things i dont want to compromise...i dont wanna fuck u in order to be with u...i wanna be with u and then yea well hump like bunnies...but give ME a chance first.

Amen to that!!

[theevilgirl]

srsly what ever happened to dating and the art of court-ship?

i want a boy to ask me out on a date...

not ask me if i wanna see how big he is! uagauo[2vbh}S

[bellybelle]

or just chill out and go with the flow....maybe he feels the same way but u know how boys are.

i usually tell boys like it is and they get all freaked out and dont want anything more then friendship...

and so what if u get hurt....ull get over it.

Agree with all above...
Just don't want to waste time on something that will never be. But as usual, only time will tell. I'm no good with patience, that's all.

neither am I, thats why i am forever burned with single-dom.

id rather fall in love and get hurt then feel the way i do.... its almost like im scared to be in a relationship now cuz i dont know what its like....almost like a guy...im scared to commit to someone....and invest time in something that could possibly work....and be co-dependent. ive gotten so used to doing everything on my own that to compromise constantly is like foreign to me. and i really hate that feeling....

especially when all my friends come to me for relationship advice...and im right...ugh.

To compromise... that's an artform... I'm probably a nightmare sometimes with my bad temper and lack of patience , but if you really want to be with someone, you have to swallow a bit of your pride and independance (to a certain level). Might be worth it

oh no trust i realize this....but boys only want me for one of two things....

friends....or fuck....

and i have been approached by some rather brag worthy fellas but...thats not me...i want more then that....and i try to be patient but like you...i dont like wasting my time.

I KNOWWWW what i want....and there are some things i dont want to compromise...i dont wanna fuck u in order to be with u...i wanna be with u and then yea well hump like bunnies...but give ME a chance first.

at least after the FIRST FRICKEN DATE! if u can manage that...

thats a bit more easily resolved with a bit of introspective TLC.

Love yourself enough to dismiss men who aren't worth it. Immediately. As soon as you know. And when someone approaches you in a manner that you think is less worthy, make sure they know what they did and why you're dismissing them. Because men will try you whether you want it or not.....but what you keep depends on you alone.

When men understand that they can't approach you like that, they'll separate you from those who are easily achieved. And at least, as that point, when a man *does* approach you, you know that its more legit and substantial.

A lot of times, we (myself included) tend to dismiss men for being interested in only one thing. Truth be told, there are plenty of men out there who want a nice woman to come home to, to share their thoughts with, and take comfort in them. But they're not gonna trust us easy either....and if we are amenable to their amorous advances early on, or don't enforce a personal level of respect, they don't necessarily want to invest that much of themselves in us either. It doesn't seem easy.....none of the whole virgin v. whore dynamic is.....but if you hold out for what you believe you're worth, and to the degree that its not even a question of how you should be treated, you'll get what you want. Control things you can and be content in knowing you're doing whats best for you. A real man (the kind thats bf quality) is not just looking for a hole to satisfy him.....he's looking for a partner to share himself with. So don't settle if that's what you want.

If not, tho, you have to honestly look at it and if physical validation/fulfillment means more than having a relationship, don't gripe when you don't get one. Hooking up only works when both parties really want that......and never when the girl is hoping to entice with her body alone in hopes that the guy fucks her long enough to want a relationship with her. Seems blunt but thats how it is. And for as many men who will post about immediate fulfillment, the majority of men I know tend to not stay with a chick he can plant his flag in with no effort. Just like women tend to walk all over men they can easily manipulate.....goes both ways.

If you want a good man, respect and love yourself enough to not settle for less. It seems hard.....but it really is that simple.

[theevilgirl]

ya know....i understand that whole loving urself before loving others thing....

but...and not to sound all emo n shit....when you havent felt that love and that value like you are worth it as a person for someone to actually WANT to spend time with u in an intimate/romantic way then....whats to love?

i mean i think im a great person...and i could name 101 qualities that people tell me every day that make me such an awesome person....but what does it mean when you dont have someone there that truly values you completely.

friends will say...yea you are funny, smart, kind, pretty whatever....

fuck will say...nice ass, great tits, good head...whatever....

but...why not all from one person that means something to u?

im not looking for advice or anything just kinda venting cuz its really starting to get to me like....wtf is wrong with me that i am not worth being with someone?....and to say im desperate enough to go around with any guy that gives me attention is false...i am not a complete bitch to people...im not a fuckin slut...i dont get it. seriously dont understand wtfffffffffffffff.

[kamala]

ya know....i understand that whole loving urself before loving others thing....

but...and not to sound all emo n shit....when you havent felt that love and that value like you are worth it as a person for someone to actually WANT to spend time with u in an intimate/romantic way then....whats to love?

i mean i think im a great person...and i could name 101 qualities that people tell me every day that make me such an awesome person....but what does it mean when you dont have someone there that truly values you completely.

friends will say...yea you are funny, smart, kind, pretty whatever....

fuck will say...nice ass, great tits, good head...whatever....

but...why not all from one person that means something to u?

im not looking for advice or anything just kinda venting cuz its really starting to get to me like....wtf is wrong with me that i am not worth being with someone?....and to say im desperate enough to go around with any guy that gives me attention is false...i am not a complete bitch to people...im not a fuckin slut...i dont get it. seriously dont understand wtfffffffffffffff.

what is to love is you. TRUTH. every last drop of you. when it comes down to it no matter how much someone loves you, you still ultimately only have yourself to answer to. at the end of the day you gotta close your eyes and live in your own space. If you can't get comfortable there, no one can.

shit even if you CAN get comfortable there, no one can. it's all about you, the world YOU experience, and how you interpret and internalize that experience.

you may not have a man to love you but most relationships are a cluster fuck of emotions and bad communication anyway.... and any fears and insecurities you have now will be brought to the table in your relationship. so if you let yourself think something is wrong with you now, you will still feel that way once you do have a man loving you up.

what you have to do is condition your thinking so that no man can touch you. If a guy doesn't want a relationship and it makes you feel like something is wrong with you, say to yourself - lets not even go there-lets take it elsewhere. Aint nothing wrong with you, other than you feel somehting is wrong with you. direct your mind elsewhere! for your OWN sake, not for the sake of getting a man. when you start to feel negative about yourself, try to find the warm space within you that only you can inhabit, the place of settlement and comfort, acceptance of your life situation regardless of condition and give yourself the nurturing and support that you as a entity of emotion need. that you wish a guy would give you. no one can give that to you but yourself, because no one lives in that space but you. spoil yourself like you would want a guy to!! it's up to you to keep your own headspace clean and well ordered, and not to terrorize it by thoughts of -this guy didn't validate my worth, so i feel worth less. you're not worth less no matter how many guys don't want you, you're a human fucking being and you deserve love. from yourself. and everyone else ultimately means fuck all when it comes to that.

[bellybelle]

ya know....i understand that whole loving urself before loving others thing....

but...and not to sound all emo n shit....when you havent felt that love and that value like you are worth it as a person for someone to actually WANT to spend time with u in an intimate/romantic way then....whats to love?

i mean i think im a great person...and i could name 101 qualities that people tell me every day that make me such an awesome person....but what does it mean when you dont have someone there that truly values you completely.

friends will say...yea you are funny, smart, kind, pretty whatever....

fuck will say...nice ass, great tits, good head...whatever....

but...why not all from one person that means something to u?

im not looking for advice or anything just kinda venting cuz its really starting to get to me like....wtf is wrong with me that i am not worth being with someone?....and to say im desperate enough to go around with any guy that gives me attention is false...i am not a complete bitch to people...im not a fuckin slut...i dont get it. seriously dont understand wtfffffffffffffff.

why are you basing your self-worth on anyone else's opinion of you? thats the biggest flaw right there.

you shouldn't need anyone else to be there to feel that and know that. you should know it because you believe it. and when you really do know that, fuck all others.

you ever wonder why people always say you find love when you're not looking? i think its because if you're content enough in yourself, love can blossom. when you keep it in the back of your mind that your validation is wrapped in whether or not someone else agrees, you'll always be "looking" for something outside yourself to validate whats within.

i never said you were desperate. i'm taking this as a common complaint i've seen from women on these boards and in my life. over the last 30 years, i've heard the same complaint from women over and over again. some don't go far and some do.....we can't deny that....hell we've got pages here on the forums full of it.

if you love yourself, and really love yourself, a lot of this other bullshit can be left to the side. but saying you have an idea of who you are and then later asking whats wrong with you shows you really don't know. when you love yourself enough, its not a question of "whats wrong with me?". When you really love yourself, the question becomes, "Is this what I want? Is this whats best for me?"

And until you're asking the latter series, you have no idea what you're really worth, because if you truly honored and loved yourself, it wouldn't matter what someone else thinks. You'd know who you were, and anything less than what is good for you is just that. Bad and able to be dismissed.

[theevilgirl]

i hope that karma really is a bitch and good things will come to me in the next life....cuz this one is treating me like crap....

and not just in the love department

[kamala]

for the record evilgrrl i find myself feeling the same, wondering why guys only want one or the other with me. (and often both). truth is it's just hard as fuck to find someone who vibes on the level with you. it's trial and error. mostly error. so cut out the negative thinking about yourself, if you build a habit of negative introspection the world will be filtered through the haze of that, and you will never feel okay no matter who loves you.

basically, FUCK EM!

[bellybelle]

for the record evilgrrl i find myself feeling the same, wondering why guys only want one or the other with me. (and often both). truth is it's just hard as fuck to find someone who vibes on the level with you. it's trial and error. mostly error. so cut out the negative thinking about yourself, if you build a habit of negative introspection the world will be filtered through the haze of that, and you will never feel okay no matter who loves you.

basically, FUCK EM!

and for the record, i've felt like both of you until i decided to pull up, get off the carousel, and stop putting myself through the cycle of self-loathing and hatred to get to where i am now. And as much as no one wants to hear it, you are ultimately the one in control of how you get treated. Stop looking for the solutions outside yourself. Spend some time looking within and when you know, apply it. Talk is cheap--living it is the real deal. But when you do.....and when you really do live it.....that's when real change happens.

And don't dismiss everything negative. When I was out there, I came to a point where I was all, "Well fuck everything else, I'ma do me," without looking at my own behavior to see what was contributing to my dilemma. A lot of the cycles I spun in my life were perpetuated *by me*. When I discovered that, I cut my own self-destructive behavior. We're not as helpless as it seems. Take your life back and walk forward strong.

[Pistonsbeneath]

i hope that karma really is a bitch and good things will come to me in the next life....cuz this one is treating me like crap....

and not just in the love department

too be totally honest having that kind of attitude justified or not you will always be struggling to be happy

try focusing on the needs of others & thinking positive and good things really do happen

i say this because i've been there...life still sucks a bit for me i suppose but if you dwell on something then it becomes a bigger problem unless you're fixing it