love
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Link to the Secret Ninja Sessions community ustream channel - info in this thread
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bellybelle
- Posts: 2045
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
- Contact:
i'm so guilty of this on occasion but.... why is it that we wait until we almost lose something/someone before we feel comfortable expressing how deeply we love someone or how much someone means to us?
i've done it with friends and its happened to me on the flip but....do we really need a life/comfort threatening situation in order to see how much we appreciate another person? is it because we take it for granted, like, this person will always be there for me so I don't have to do anything special? Perhaps that we don't feel it needs to be said or stated because its obvious to us, even when its not obvious to the other people?
As I said, I'm completely guilty of this. As an admission, when I enter a relationship, that person quickly ascends to the forefront. To the degree that I might neglect my other friendships. I feel awfully guilty about this because I love my friends dearly. If I consider the individual a friend, they have definitely gotten close enough for me to take their feelings into consideration. But....still....I fail.
I hate thinking death or permanent removal would be the motivator. I think about them often but....I dunno. Then I get ashamed because I let things lapse and then I feel that I can't do anything to fix so I continue to let it slide, which only makes it worse. More time passes and before long, I've lost yet another person, solely because I didn't take the time to make sure they understood just how much I love them and how much they mean to my life.
Maybe I'll make that my personal pledge. To try and let those who I've let in stay part of my life. Swallow my pride and shame for disappointing them, and just tell those I love that I love them. Tell the people I love that I love them and keep them in my heart no matter what. That though I might be distracted, I'm still there. That I don't need to wait for death or the cusp of losing them in order to remind them how important they are to me and how much I care. And that though I am very human, I am capable of love and want them to know how blessed I am to have them be part of my life.
i've done it with friends and its happened to me on the flip but....do we really need a life/comfort threatening situation in order to see how much we appreciate another person? is it because we take it for granted, like, this person will always be there for me so I don't have to do anything special? Perhaps that we don't feel it needs to be said or stated because its obvious to us, even when its not obvious to the other people?
As I said, I'm completely guilty of this. As an admission, when I enter a relationship, that person quickly ascends to the forefront. To the degree that I might neglect my other friendships. I feel awfully guilty about this because I love my friends dearly. If I consider the individual a friend, they have definitely gotten close enough for me to take their feelings into consideration. But....still....I fail.
I hate thinking death or permanent removal would be the motivator. I think about them often but....I dunno. Then I get ashamed because I let things lapse and then I feel that I can't do anything to fix so I continue to let it slide, which only makes it worse. More time passes and before long, I've lost yet another person, solely because I didn't take the time to make sure they understood just how much I love them and how much they mean to my life.
Maybe I'll make that my personal pledge. To try and let those who I've let in stay part of my life. Swallow my pride and shame for disappointing them, and just tell those I love that I love them. Tell the people I love that I love them and keep them in my heart no matter what. That though I might be distracted, I'm still there. That I don't need to wait for death or the cusp of losing them in order to remind them how important they are to me and how much I care. And that though I am very human, I am capable of love and want them to know how blessed I am to have them be part of my life.
My art: http://lacifaeria.deviantart.comMagnetron, Sputtering wrote:I don't really make dubstep. I'm just here for the alpacas.
My tunes: http://www.soundcloud.com/bellybelle
My space: http://www.myspace.com/beelzebeats
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lacifaeria
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psyolopher
- Posts: 2159
- Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 5:43 pm
- Location: Iceland
- Contact:
This is love:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kYqKucJTn2c
Story of my life!
Women are ok, if you got shitloads of monies!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kYqKucJTn2c
Story of my life!
Women are ok, if you got shitloads of monies!
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bellybelle
- Posts: 2045
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
- Contact:
is needed here so desperately.
Wishing love to all the ninjas. Wish I could take you all out for a drink but the airfare alone would kill me. till then...
:w::w:

Wishing love to all the ninjas. Wish I could take you all out for a drink but the airfare alone would kill me. till then...
My art: http://lacifaeria.deviantart.comMagnetron, Sputtering wrote:I don't really make dubstep. I'm just here for the alpacas.
My tunes: http://www.soundcloud.com/bellybelle
My space: http://www.myspace.com/beelzebeats
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lacifaeria
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dubstepjustin
- Posts: 660
- Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:46 pm
- Location: PA, US
Love Sucks for me so far. I've tried to get 8 or 9 women so far over time. 2 Ether left without warning (In that case it really was not their fault) or were not interested in me and rejected me. But i am still young yet. I am still optimistic.
If anyone's interested and is between the ages of 16 and 18 PM me. lol j/k
If anyone's interested and is between the ages of 16 and 18 PM me. lol j/k
gwa wrote:I have spent 20 quid on food today. I do not need to eat but I can't help myself.
This is fucking shit I have no self control. Someone kill me
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djelements
- Posts: 6830
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:25 pm
- Location: First dsf male lesbian/Savannah, GA
Oioi, I'm in georgia, get over here and get shitfaced with me.bellybelle wrote:is needed here so desperately.
Wishing love to all the ninjas. Wish I could take you all out for a drink but the airfare alone would kill me. till then...
:w::w:
![]()
http://soundcloud.com/helixdelay
kejk wrote:I prefer the pooper
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bellybelle
- Posts: 2045
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
- Contact:
I might be in GA for Thanksgiving actually....and that will prolly be one of the last times until my relatives start passing. Once I move to the west coast, there won't be many reasons I'll come back east.DJelements wrote:Oioi, I'm in georgia, get over here and get shitfaced with me.bellybelle wrote:is needed here so desperately.
Wishing love to all the ninjas. Wish I could take you all out for a drink but the airfare alone would kill me. till then...
:w::w:
![]()
My art: http://lacifaeria.deviantart.comMagnetron, Sputtering wrote:I don't really make dubstep. I'm just here for the alpacas.
My tunes: http://www.soundcloud.com/bellybelle
My space: http://www.myspace.com/beelzebeats
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lacifaeria
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djelements
- Posts: 6830
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:25 pm
- Location: First dsf male lesbian/Savannah, GA
Where at in the GEE AY?bellybelle wrote:I might be in GA for Thanksgiving actually....and that will prolly be one of the last times until my relatives start passing. Once I move to the west coast, there won't be many reasons I'll come back east.DJelements wrote:Oioi, I'm in georgia, get over here and get shitfaced with me.bellybelle wrote:is needed here so desperately.
Wishing love to all the ninjas. Wish I could take you all out for a drink but the airfare alone would kill me. till then...
:w::w:
![]()
http://soundcloud.com/helixdelay
kejk wrote:I prefer the pooper
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bellybelle
- Posts: 2045
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
- Contact:
Augusta. That's where my fam lives.DJelements wrote:Where at in the GEE AY?
My art: http://lacifaeria.deviantart.comMagnetron, Sputtering wrote:I don't really make dubstep. I'm just here for the alpacas.
My tunes: http://www.soundcloud.com/bellybelle
My space: http://www.myspace.com/beelzebeats
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lacifaeria
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djelements
- Posts: 6830
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:25 pm
- Location: First dsf male lesbian/Savannah, GA
Pretty close to way-x actually.bellybelle wrote:Augusta. That's where my fam lives.DJelements wrote:Where at in the GEE AY?
http://soundcloud.com/helixdelay
kejk wrote:I prefer the pooper
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djelements
- Posts: 6830
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:25 pm
- Location: First dsf male lesbian/Savannah, GA
Also... I'm pretty much completely in love. It's weird to think I've met the girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with at 17. But I really think I have. I mean, Jesus Christ, she likes Samiyam, and thinks my jokes are funny. The problem is that she lives miles away. 1024 miles away, to be exact.
http://soundcloud.com/helixdelay
kejk wrote:I prefer the pooper
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bright maroon
- Posts: 4992
- Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:03 pm
- Location: ..in high colonial, tropical low country currently - Savannah, Ga
That sound great..but I suggest you take some time and I mean - get to at least age 24 before you go deciding about the rest of your life..DJelements wrote:Also... I'm pretty much completely in love. It's weird to think I've met the girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with at 17. But I really think I have. I mean, Jesus Christ, she likes Samiyam, and thinks my jokes are funny. The problem is that she lives miles away. 1024 miles away, to be exact.
people change greatly@24..and @28. That's called growing up.
..and be careful of the baby crazy girls ages 16-26..they are freakin' mentaly..and they don't care about providing daddies for the babies, but they will grab your cash.
That's my parental advice for the day...
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bellybelle
- Posts: 2045
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
- Contact:
nice deams!
I know that I know that I know that I'm in love. Never been in a more true, deep, sincere, beautiful kind of love. Abundantly grateful to have something like this when I had given up entirely. I didn't think it would ever happen to me.
31 and my second time in love. I'm so lucky to feel this more than once in my life. Luckier still to feel it again. And luckiest to find the one man who fits me best. The one man of all the men I've ever met who speaks the same language I do fluently.
Sometimes I cry because I can't believe how amazing it is. I'm not used to this. I'm used to having to fight everyone and everything just to carve out a little bit of happiness. A lot of making due, asking why me, accepting why not me, etc.
But this.....such a surprise. And the most beautiful thing about it is.....before him, I had pledged that if I couldn't be with anyone, I would just shower the rest of the world with the love I had....but with him, not only do I get to feel love....and share love...
But it makes it soooooooo easy to give it to everyone I meet. I wish everyone could feel this. But even if they can't, if I can share just a fraction of what he gives me with the rest of the world, then I know this is all worth it.
awwww I'm getting misty-eyed just thinking about it. I'm such a sap.
dun let this ruin my tough reputation, pls. i'm still hella hard....
I know that I know that I know that I'm in love. Never been in a more true, deep, sincere, beautiful kind of love. Abundantly grateful to have something like this when I had given up entirely. I didn't think it would ever happen to me.
31 and my second time in love. I'm so lucky to feel this more than once in my life. Luckier still to feel it again. And luckiest to find the one man who fits me best. The one man of all the men I've ever met who speaks the same language I do fluently.
Sometimes I cry because I can't believe how amazing it is. I'm not used to this. I'm used to having to fight everyone and everything just to carve out a little bit of happiness. A lot of making due, asking why me, accepting why not me, etc.
But this.....such a surprise. And the most beautiful thing about it is.....before him, I had pledged that if I couldn't be with anyone, I would just shower the rest of the world with the love I had....but with him, not only do I get to feel love....and share love...
But it makes it soooooooo easy to give it to everyone I meet. I wish everyone could feel this. But even if they can't, if I can share just a fraction of what he gives me with the rest of the world, then I know this is all worth it.
dun let this ruin my tough reputation, pls. i'm still hella hard....
My art: http://lacifaeria.deviantart.comMagnetron, Sputtering wrote:I don't really make dubstep. I'm just here for the alpacas.
My tunes: http://www.soundcloud.com/bellybelle
My space: http://www.myspace.com/beelzebeats
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lacifaeria
nice one bellebelle, id love to experience what you have written, however iv'e been fucked over so many times, its only my own version of karma by doing it back that helps me through it...
oh and im in love, but she doesnt know it yet...god its the bosses daughter ffs, am i trying to get myself sacked??, i havent even spoken 2 her....
im such a tnuc.. hahaha
oh and im in love, but she doesnt know it yet...god its the bosses daughter ffs, am i trying to get myself sacked??, i havent even spoken 2 her....
im such a tnuc.. hahaha
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theevilgirl
- Posts: 2324
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:38 pm
- Location: So FLo
- Contact:
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bellybelle
- Posts: 2045
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
- Contact:
*hugs to Deams* I wish nothing but awesomeness for you. I know it can be tough when you're always on the shit end. With the exception of my current and one guy a few years back, every person I've dated in almost 10 years has cheated on me. After the last one, a particular nasty one who not only cheated, not only broke up with me a week before we were to move in together, but broke up with me just to have the girl he was cheating on me with over for a few days in his/our new apartment (including posting pics of her online wearing clothes I bought for him); I *swore* I'd never do it again. Swore it, stamped it, and decided to move on from there.
Imagine my surprise when after I had finally walled up in my lil hole and decided, "Fuck it," I met the person I wish I had years ago.
The pain can suck so bad. Its humiliating and embarrassing. And everything hurts soooo much. But...there was love before him when I loved myself enough to promise to keep me safe. It was only after I really really fell in love with Keri (yeah real name innit) that I could have met him.
I guess thats why I want people to know love....not just from outside, but deeply from within. Because when you really love yourself, you won't let yourself get into a place where you will get hurt. And if you find yourself there, you'll love yourself to get out or get help. Its only after you really love who you are that you'll find someone who is worthy of loving you the way you should be.
And even if that doesn't happen, loving yourself is worth more than a kings ransom. So many people think they are worthless or let their value be determined by outside people/circumstances and they don't understand that they will always be trapped in a cycle of pain and despair until they love themselves enough to get out. We are all valuable, even if its to no one else but ourselves.
No one else has to love me because I love me enough. But its definitely a perk to have it add to what I've finally developed in my heart for me.
I wish love to all the ninjas. Not just romantic. Not just in friendship or companionship. I wish every ninja here really loved themselves for all the good and bad things they are. Because there are so many willing to be satisfied with pain and misery.
But I don't want you guys to be satisfied with life. I want you to wake up every single day being thankful for who you are and that you're here. Its a small wish, but one that comes from deep inside my soul for all of you.

Imagine my surprise when after I had finally walled up in my lil hole and decided, "Fuck it," I met the person I wish I had years ago.
The pain can suck so bad. Its humiliating and embarrassing. And everything hurts soooo much. But...there was love before him when I loved myself enough to promise to keep me safe. It was only after I really really fell in love with Keri (yeah real name innit) that I could have met him.
I guess thats why I want people to know love....not just from outside, but deeply from within. Because when you really love yourself, you won't let yourself get into a place where you will get hurt. And if you find yourself there, you'll love yourself to get out or get help. Its only after you really love who you are that you'll find someone who is worthy of loving you the way you should be.
And even if that doesn't happen, loving yourself is worth more than a kings ransom. So many people think they are worthless or let their value be determined by outside people/circumstances and they don't understand that they will always be trapped in a cycle of pain and despair until they love themselves enough to get out. We are all valuable, even if its to no one else but ourselves.
No one else has to love me because I love me enough. But its definitely a perk to have it add to what I've finally developed in my heart for me.
I wish love to all the ninjas. Not just romantic. Not just in friendship or companionship. I wish every ninja here really loved themselves for all the good and bad things they are. Because there are so many willing to be satisfied with pain and misery.
But I don't want you guys to be satisfied with life. I want you to wake up every single day being thankful for who you are and that you're here. Its a small wish, but one that comes from deep inside my soul for all of you.
My art: http://lacifaeria.deviantart.comMagnetron, Sputtering wrote:I don't really make dubstep. I'm just here for the alpacas.
My tunes: http://www.soundcloud.com/bellybelle
My space: http://www.myspace.com/beelzebeats
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lacifaeria
I liked this thread better when it was song titles...
...with someone, ever fallen in love in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with
...with someone, ever fallen in love in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with
"shiver me timbers!" - Mr Scruff
"FKN ACE !" - Jon Kennedy
"...among the best music ever featured in the music lounge" - Computer Music
http://www.jellybass.co.uk
"FKN ACE !" - Jon Kennedy
"...among the best music ever featured in the music lounge" - Computer Music
http://www.jellybass.co.uk
this is my one true philosophy of love.bellybelle wrote:Its only after you really love who you are that you'll find someone who is worthy of loving you the way you should be.
i'm takin this show on the road.
www.twitter.com/nesslei
http://www.youtube.com/nessleii - ya get me!
www.twitter.com/nesslei
http://www.youtube.com/nessleii - ya get me!
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