COMPETITION! WIN A DUBPLATE!!

[Forensics]

Ez people,

A dubplate I ordered a while back (from the good people at Dubstudio) got lost in the post. They kindly ran off another copy, and weeks later the original has now been returned to them. Royal Mail are so gash!! Anyway, they've (again kindly) offered the spare copy up for a competition.

It's a one-sided 10":

A1: Forensics - Before the Storm [short intro/interlude-type track from the last album]
A2: Juakali - Hear them say, produced by Forensics [unreleased & very exclusive track]

To enter - post something on this thread before Saturday (10th January), about a Royal Mail experience you've had. Best post-related anecdote gets the dub! General obcenities aimed at the postal service will also be considered

[dusk governor]

royal mail can suck it

[georgedallas]

this year i sent off my student loan confirmation and royal mail lost it, so cos i havent paid it i've been charged 100 bar cos a bit of mail got lost in the post. dead out

[misk]

royal mail pissed me off so much that i jumped on a boat and set off for the New World. I've settled in the western california frontier, it's rough here, but i've managed to make a nice little homestead for myself. Too bad my wife died from dysentery recently. I'll have to raise the kids myself.

[slim]

I know i'm not gonna get it but i need to fucking vent.

About a year ago i found an MC-303 online for a bargain price, had been wanting one for ages, and managed to win that motherfucker on ebay. At the time i was living in student accommodation (ie some david lynch version of hell, one shower between 9 people, guy in the room above me fell out the window and died all over the alleyway outside, girl i know got attacked by hundreds of mystery red insects in her sleep, and worst of all a tiny fucking postbox, so no parcel delivery, and the stnuc rarely left those red note thingies)

So after waiting the standard 2 weeks for some groovebox goodness i go down to whitechapel post office (hold tight the single figure IQ mandem) to ask what's going on. They say without a note i can't claim a parcel. So i wait for a note. For another 2 weeks.

This is getting long, so i'm speeding up.

I call the central office people and they tell me it got sent back to the sender northern ireland, and that it arrived about a week after i ordered it, but "you didn't try to claim it". It was probably behind them when i was there trying to get it.




I get it resent and check in every day for a month. No fucking groovebox to this day.

Although it would have been much worse if it was a TB-303 that got lost, i count my blessings on that one.

[lk]

ahhaaa)))
You never deal wirh RUSSIN post)))))
Onсe post employer left near the wall in the corner on the first stage of our house my package with records (my flat is on 7th stage).
Ah,I can tell that ALL items,left on first stage can be stole in 2 minutes=)
Once I left my bottle of beer there because I need to bring my turntables from my car.When I returned in 3 minutes my beer already was gone))))
So,my package with records was there ALL evening,night and morning and I picked up my records when I went to work in morining)))))
(sorry for my terrible English )

[Forensics]

By the way - Henry at Dubstudio will be picking the winner,
in case anyone feels that I might be biased or whatever

[Littlefoot]

oh man

best Royal Mail experience I had..

WITH PICS

Picture the scene:

Halloween, with my Royal Mail employee friend.

Free nights around, but you have to be in fancy dress..

shit what could we be?

FUCKING ZOMBIE POSTMEN...

so I went to ASDA, got some fake blood for 25p



but we needed to prove we were legit so..





we attracting some very very unwanted attention



on the walk home..

a riot van of coppers chased us all the way up my road..

arrested us, told us we had robbed the Royal Mail post office..

and then covered my face with fake blood?

lolzzz

[thegrizwalds]

I live in the states and only have 1 experience w/ royal mail. I was lucky enough to snatch a promo copy of "eastern jam" in aug. back when everyone was on that tune. Sure enough 1 week and a half later it finally gets to my house and i open it expecting the greatest tune ever made and what do i get???? The most warped record in the history of vinyl God bless the queen!

[chester perry]

Years ago Royal Mail "lost" my Gemini PMX 2200 Jazzy Jeff mixer, there is some postie somewhere with my beloved mixer, you thieving bastard. That mixer was the nuts.

So i deserve some sort of compensation.....a dub plate would do the trick.


ps..

i loved that mixer.

[ahier]

once when drunk, my (at the time) lonely, frustrated friend started making out with post box, before getting me to give him a leg-up so he could put his cock in the hole and hve sex with it.

POST GASH

worth a plate?

[dubloke]

i dunno if it was the royal mail but a courier company delivered a kilo of columbias finest to a place i worked, the cleaner found it and thought it was Anthrax! The police haistly removed it, but the department I worked in was where all the mail came through, must have gone straight under my colleauges noses! (I wasnt working there at the time)

[__________]

we used to have a welsh postman - how about that?

[the wiggle baron]

To cut a relatively uninteresting first half of a story short, me and a mate of mine from back home always get each other wine gums in some form on each others birthdays, and the first year of uni weren't going to stop that. So on mine, after spending ages bigging up the present he said he'd gotten me, I pop down to the post man bit downstairs in halls and just get an empty envelope addressed to me (in carless' trademark unbelievably bad handwriting). I figured that was it, and was moderately amused by the jest. Anyway I spoke to him after, and it turned out he'd sent one wine gum (a green one too motherfucker) first class as he kind of ate the rest...but some tnuc somewhere along the royal mail service had found the letter and the little squidgy thing inside, sliced open the top and jacked the fucker Was even a little wine gum shaped grease mark on the envelope. My guess is someone at royal mail thought they'd just scored themselves a fat chunk of charis or something lol

Got the fecker framed, and it still sits on me desk



Oh, and a couple of mates of mine once had a go at trying to post one of them Mate of ours got in a big ole cardboard box filled with those foam packaging things and bubble wrap, and wrapped it in parcel tape with the corners a bit bashed and some of the edges not taped up properly so he could breathe. Whacked another mate of ours address on it and took him down post office and got him all paid up for some hexpress delivery business. Bit of a waste of moolah in the end (unless you include BARE jokes in net profit calculations) as he only got as far as being processed by someone in the sorting office place where he had a small panic and started trying to break out. Im pretty sure it was the posty rocking the major panic though to be fair Still, 10/10 badman points on the effort...

[mattrelton]

I was once chased 3 miles by a group of 18 royal mail employees that had morphed into part dinosaur, part motorbike.

[caunterstrike]

i once posted a kitten..... it died

[HGLDT]

I guess the picture summarizes it well. Basically Royal Mail decided to CUT through my records as it was about to leave the country. I was seriously impressed by how much effort they put into that nice clean cut right through 3024-003 and Gullybrook Lane. Along with it they sent me a nice letter saying that they realised they had destroyed my package, that they were sorry, but that hey, they're Royal Post so you can do fuck all about it. Anyways cheers to Tom at Red Eye for resending the records to me.

[misk]

i loved that mixer.

this and "gemini mixer" should never be used together

[pdomino]

Dad works for Royal Mail.

Had some vinyl that got undelivered, on a saturday I needed em, down at the parcel place they wouldnt let me have it as I was late, mi dad sneekily marched down and got them for mi, rudeboy !!

[djfoster]

ahahaha...big up Forensics for this!!! Fuck Italian post too! When I am not at home they leave my record outside on the floor!!!!!!!! let you image if it 's rains!!! And you don't know how many records was lost...anyway, sometimes my scene is:

morning...
I'm in my flat on 2 stage and I'm having breakfast, I heard the postman car...then...I heard his voice...

"LUCA!!!!! LUCA !!!!!!! LUCA !!!!!(my name) WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!! I HAVE YOUR RECORDS!!!! COME ON!!!!!! (using an orrible local dialet!!)"