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BLAHBLAHJAH wrote:
Here's an story of the awesome side of disgusting:
Involved LSD and camping on a clifftop, for some reason I climbed about 5 metres up a tree to take a shit (there was a prime toilet-shaped set of branches) was a glorious dump until I looked down to see a proper ghetto 1980's boombox in the middle of my art. My first (and retardly illogical drug induced) assumption was that it'd come out of me, so I was sat up in a tree with no kecks on laughing my tits off and shouting at my mate 'come check this out!'. Was one of those epic universal drug bonding sessions, when his first comment was "haha as if, when did you eat that ghetto blaster?". Shit story, but it's a great feeling when disgust mutates into pride, satisfaction and awe

This is my new favourite peice of writing

This didn't happen to me but it's worth telling.

When I was in residence at university, some kids on my floor decided that it would be funny to unscrew the shower heads, shit, put the shit in the shower head, and screw them back on.

The male showers on this floor had 3 stalls. I always used the last one. The shit shower was the first stall thankfully.

The next morning the hall monitor had a shit shower. apparently it lasted for like 2 minutes. That was one of the most disgusting pranks I've ever heard of. if that happened to me I would just round up every dude in the building, undo my belt, and whip their faces with the buckled end. Fuck finding out who exactly was responsible. Everybody's guilty.

Fell asleep with my head between my knees on the bog in a pub whilst out on an all day session a few years ago. Was woken by my mate pounding on the door, telling me we had to go because it was closing time. I opened my eyes to discover that I had spewed into my trousers and pants, which were still around my ankles, and it had pooled into my shoes. Talk about a walk of shame through the pub. Was a pretty awful taxi ride home too.

karmacazee wrote:Fell asleep with my head between my knees on the bog in a pub whilst out on an all day session a few years ago. Was woken by my mate pounding on the door, telling me we had to go because it was closing time. I opened my eyes to discover that I had spewed into my trousers and pants, which were still around my ankles, and it had pooled into my shoes. Talk about a walk of shame through the pub. Was a pretty awful taxi ride home too.

Thats fucking brilliant!!! There are some seriously disturbed people on this forum.

edit - Please please plesse tell me this was your local and you knew loads of people in there

JFK wrote:

Thats fucking brilliant!!! There are some seriously disturbed people on this forum.

edit - Please please plesse tell me this was your local and you knew loads of people in there

unfortunately, it was in a big pub in town. It's the only part of the day I remember too.

My dad has a mate who's an alcoholic and a bit of a mess. One time this guy was staying at another one of my dad's mate's houses and he came in drunk and pissed all over the front room and shat in the guy's wellies. Apparently the guy who's house it was came in the next morning and there was a massive turd hanging out of the top of his welly.

This same bloke came back from the pub one night, opened the toilet door and his girlfriend was fucked out of her head and passed out on the bog. He spread her legs, sat down and did a shit.

Grimey fucker.

karmacazee wrote:

JFK wrote:

Thats fucking brilliant!!! There are some seriously disturbed people on this forum.

edit - Please please plesse tell me this was your local and you knew loads of people in there

unfortunately, it was in a big pub in town. It's the only part of the day I remember too.

Legend.

minifletch wrote: This thread is quality, I find myself in hysterics and then almost gipping when it gets to the punchline sort of thing (especially at the genital wart story lol)

I can make it worse by revealing that the girl was 17-18ish when this happened

karmacazee wrote:Fell asleep with my head between my knees on the bog in a pub whilst out on an all day session a few years ago. Was woken by my mate pounding on the door, telling me we had to go because it was closing time. I opened my eyes to discover that I had spewed into my trousers and pants, which were still around my ankles, and it had pooled into my shoes. Talk about a walk of shame through the pub. Was a pretty awful taxi ride home too.

urghh thats nasty, have to admit i had a bit of a session this sunday gone. woke up in the morning not remembering a thing and had solid thick hair from the puke

Over7hink wrote:This didn't happen to me but it's worth telling.

When I was in residence at university, some kids on my floor decided that it would be funny to unscrew the shower heads, shit, put the shit in the shower head, and screw them back on.

The male showers on this floor had 3 stalls. I always used the last one. The shit shower was the first stall thankfully.

The next morning the hall monitor had a shit shower. apparently it lasted for like 2 minutes. That was one of the most disgusting pranks I've ever heard of. if that happened to me I would just round up every dude in the building, undo my belt, and whip their faces with the buckled end. Fuck finding out who exactly was responsible. Everybody's guilty.

Over7hink wrote:Fuck finding out who exactly was responsible. Everybody's guilty.

two minutes? why would you not leave after the first second ahahhah

need to bring this thread back

Not much bad shit has happened to me.

Was down on a girl, I didn't know she was coming on. All I could taste was iron, then I realised what it was.
Same girl, was gonna finger her but something spelt kinda bad, upon further inspection it was her cooch. Wasn't like that all the time, she just had cystitus.

At a party last year though. I saw a lot of fucked up shit happen.

Started out, one of our friends had a chavvy girlfriend who was a good 3 years younger then him, I think making her 15 or something. She turnt up loud as fuck, bragging about how much she can drink and shit. After a while she demands a go on the beer bong so we decided to put her to the test. Someone pissed in a can of beer, she backed it. Didn't realise it was piss. Runs off with a look of accomplishment on her face. Comes back an hour later, apparently drunk, demanding another one so we think fuck it might as well. Same thing. This (apparently) sent her over the edge and she was running around, breaking everything and just making a tit of herself.

At some point she decides to invite the rest of her 15 year old friends. At this point I have no idea who they are or that they're at the party. I stumble to the back of the garden looking for a nice fence or bush to piss on. I find the perfect one about half way up. Relieve myself, only to have two girls come up to me and start shouting. I couldn't really comprehend what they were saying. I take a walk around and realise that it wasn't a fence but just some bamboo and there was a bench on the other side. And I had just pissed in one of the girls bag and all up there backs. They try to get me to clean it etc. and just in general chavvy behaviour so I just wonder off into the house.

I'm looking for shit to do and someone tells me to come up the stairs. Everyones all crouched down and giggling like somethings about to go down. Might as well see whats gonna happen. They push the door open to a room and some girl runs out naked. I realise its the really drunk 15 year old. We go in further and her bf was sitting there with his head in his hands. Blood all over his lap. Massive blood stains on the bed. And a half hand print on the wall, in blood. No idea how it happened. Not even he knows.


Also on acid, not really that as disgusting as some of the shit thats been said in here but still kinda joke. We were sitting in Green park and I saw something on the floor. I was quite inquisitive and before the thought could tell me otherwise I just decided to step on it. Then did I clock that it could either be a leaf or a piece of shit. So Crackf leans in about to pick it up to get a closer look then we took the sensible option and realise that yeah. It was a piece of shit. Although we forgot about it 2 minutes after it happened and when it started to wear off I noticed that a fuck load of it had managed to make its way to the top of my shoe.

Was about to shag some bird, but she had a tampon in. I removed it with my teeth.

A couple of years ago when I was with aforementioned girl. Me & my best friend at the time went to Majorca. That day we spent the whole of it walking up and down the beach arguing about his girlfriend. I was adamant she was a bitch, he understandably was adamant she wasn't. That night I was texting my girl and he stole the phone off me and wouldn't give it back out of spite. We were having a minor disagreement and I just wanted to resolve it as quickly as I could. He knew this and knew if he took my phone off me it would get me back for not liking his girlfriend. The next day while he was having a shower I had a bash and came all over his pillow. He still doesn't want to admit it.

When we got back we went to a party. Was having sex with my girl, broke some random girls little brothers bed in the process as well. Walk out my friends girlfriend wonders up to me and starts saying some shit. Slapped her with the condom and then left it in her hand.

In English in like year 8 we used to cut off our pubes and leave them in the books so when someone else got them they'd open it up to find a book full of pubes.

One of my mates was completely wasted and drank dirty bong water. It was pretty sick haha

I really shouldn't have started reading this thread whilst eating... ugh

aaahahah this thread was well worth the read

wost things for me are poo related, luckily i havent had so many incidents

one time we stashed our beers in a bush by a club, and when we headed back i put them in my bag, only to find that i had stashed them all in bare fox shit or some horrible other animal shit. couldnt get the smell off me or my bag for the rest of the night, was horrible