Dubstepforum.com

Firky wrote:

huge

i dont think ive seen anyone that fucked up

Ashen wrote:When I was 17, a mate of mine had the good sense to come round to my house unannounced whilst I was in the process of losing my virginity.

The good lady and I were too far gone just to stop, so I shouted "Dont come in, Oli" as he was making his way up the stairs......

At least, thats how I imagined it would come out. Unfortunately, I decided to cum at the precise moment I opened my mouth, leading me to shout "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHNNNNN" directly into Emma's face.

not my finest hour.

I may have to bookmark this thread just to read that whenever I'm having a really bad day.

FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers to hide my embarrassment I then said summin really cheesey like 'maybe you could give me a hand'...she didnt and it only added to my embarrassment. I dont know if she ever told my dad but nobody ever mentioned it again...

lol, fuck a duck faust, you're one sick puppy!

one of my most embarrasing moments was pulling a massive whitey at my best mates house, i knew i was about to hurl so started sprinting down the corridor to the bathroom, however i tripped and fell along the way, right outside his parents bedroom, i then proceeded to violently vomit, just as my mates' mum (whose a mega MILF, just to make it even more embarrasing) opened the door of their room to see what the hell was going on, she was greeted with the delightful sight of me projectile vomiting all over the door, carpet, and this flowerpot that was in the hall, charming, couldn't face going round there for aaaaaaaaages

just remembered an embarrasing one for my mate lloyd, he once took FAR too many shrooms whilst camping in the forest, and decided that he had died, so he rang up his mum to tell her "just one last time" that he loved her, before spending the evening blowing his nose on his mates sleeping bag, convinced it was a massive tissue

haha some of these are hilarious.mine would be from the first time I ever did a bong got stupidlly licked and walked with my mates to the co-op to get some munch and walked up to the till and the woman says to me "could you got round dear" so me in my messed up sense of reality thought she meant go round the tills open the door and try and pass her the money so ive just opened the door to were the cash tills were when I realise that she means use the other till as their someone ealse was serving pepole from it as the woman who was said "go round" to me was counting some money from the till, then everyone in there burst out laughthing at me with some makeing dissaproving faces I just pranged it harsh through some money on the table and ran out was so shacken up by the whole thing I took the next day of school hahaha.now whenever I go in that shop and see any of the pepole who were their its mad akwald

me and the family go on holiday and after the flight (overnight + didnt sleep a wink) i head for the pool. recline on the sun bed amongst my mum and the other guests and after a short while i fall sound asleep. i wake up to a boner and no mum. also no cover so i had to lie akwardly on my frount for a while and speculate which other guests to avoid.

I streaked across this park a few years ago for a dare, anyway. i left my clothes on this wall. came back.

All was there was my socks.

One of my mates was on a bike halfway across the road.

I had to run after him and dropkick him off the bike, anyway.

That didnt work so i took refuge in the bushes till he realised that me being naked wasnt as funny and his hands touching a skid stain in my boxers!

Funny timess!

FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers to hide my embarrassment I then said summin really cheesey like 'maybe you could give me a hand'...she didnt and it only added to my embarrassment. I dont know if she ever told my dad but nobody ever mentioned it again...

I cant believe I missed this one. My jaw dropped.

I was knocking one out in my room once, and I heard a knocking, so I shouted hello, no answer.

So I carried on, and I heard this knocking again, I looked round...


...window cleaner.

Triptych wrote:I was knocking one out in my room once, and I heard a knocking, so I shouted hello, no answer.

So I carried on, and I heard this knocking again, I looked round...


...window cleaner.

TAXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Triptych wrote:I was knocking one out in my room once, and I heard a knocking, so I shouted hello, no answer.

So I carried on, and I heard this knocking again, I looked round...


...window cleaner.

That's too good to be true

NilsFG wrote:

Triptych wrote:I was knocking one out in my room once, and I heard a knocking, so I shouted hello, no answer.

So I carried on, and I heard this knocking again, I looked round...


...window cleaner.

That's too good to be true

I wish it wasn't

DanRev wrote:

FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers to hide my embarrassment I then said summin really cheesey like 'maybe you could give me a hand'...she didnt and it only added to my embarrassment. I dont know if she ever told my dad but nobody ever mentioned it again...

I cant believe I missed this one. My jaw dropped.

Definitely not my finest moment and i never did anything like that ever again. I blame my fucking sex starved hormones and the laundry basket of pungent delights... (sounds like a Harry Potter novel )

FAUST.DTC wrote:

DanRev wrote:

FAUST.DTC wrote:When I was about 16 my dads girlfriend caught me wanking whilst I was sniffing her knickers to hide my embarrassment I then said summin really cheesey like 'maybe you could give me a hand'...she didnt and it only added to my embarrassment. I dont know if she ever told my dad but nobody ever mentioned it again...

I cant believe I missed this one. My jaw dropped.

Definitely not my finest moment and i never did anything like that ever again. I blame my fucking sex starved hormones and the laundry basket of pungent delights... (sounds like a Harry Potter novel )

Your dad must have been pretty pissed off?!

I dont think he knows, he has never mentioned it in the 11 years later and believe me if he did im very sure that he would have really taken the piss out of me about it and made my life a misery.

FAUST.DTC wrote:I dont think he knows, he has never mentioned it in the 11 years later and believe me if he did im very sure that he would have really taken the piss out of me about it and made my life a misery.

Your dad is such an asshole?

Some of these stories are too much.

Mine also involves getting extremely baked. Back in the college days I was in a rock band with some mates, and out "band practice" used to consist of smoking up all night and jamming out tunes for hours. Now i've never had a high tolerance to weed, not even when I smoked every day. It seems to be one thing about my body that smoking weed hits me really hard. Needless to say I found it hard keeping up with the other guys in the band.

I remember one particular night when we did a fair few shottys (home made smoking paraphernalia being essential back then) and started watching clockwork orange. Now I was already feeling fucked and watching that mad trippy movie really sent me over the edge and I started feeling sick and spinning out. I managed to get up, mumbling something incoherent and walked out into my mates hall.

Cue spinning hard and collapsing, with my face unfortunately landing in their cat litter tray. After a few seconds I manage to get onto all fours and crawl out of his house, and round the the house next door, which also belonged to one of the band and was much bigger so I knew I could find a bed. I got as far as THEIR hall and passed out. After a short while I was woken by my friends dad who asked if I was ok. I stood up, brushed off, tried to appear coherent and wandered off to the nearest bed. It was only in the morning when I woke up that i realised that half my face was covered in fresh cat shit

I passed out too once, in front of all my friends.
Wasn't that bad, I woke up again when I hit the ground and the ground was very soft to lie on

Our old caretaker in primary school was a right miserable bastard, and if you kicked a ball into into his yard he would instantly pop it, and he seemed to detest children.

He was also pretty deaf, and everyone used to dare each other to see how loud they could shout insults at him.

One day, I decided to join in because he popped my brand new ball earlier in the day. Unfortunatley I wasn't very good at gauging the loudness of my own voice, and, for some reason, at the very moment I yelled 'Mr. Ieuans is a deaf twat!" (a word I'd learned earlier in the day), everybody on the yard went silent.

Not only did he hear me, newly equipped with his hearing aid and all, but the headmaster was stood right behind me too.

Also, I'm ginger.