Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:09 pm
loool
sorry this one is so long but it is quite funny
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: huzzah!
Stranger: lvl 7 spell
You: and thusly they did meet witht the highest degree of anonimity
You: upon a room of chat
You: most merily and of course most verily did they set upon the task of conversion
Stranger: where I rested weak and weary
You: ah my sweet duke, what is this that ails you in both the body and the mind?
You: you are weak, i see this, rest yee here for as long as the good knight needs
Stranger: be the quarrells of trying to find a joint.
You: Aha!
You: i have both a joint and a manhattan for thine consumption this eve
You: most verily and of course merily i doth quoff and sup upon thine manhattan
Stranger: a strong draught will do just fine, but thou willst need more than a solitary joint to appease the voracious apetite of mine!
You: 1 shot of thine makers, 1/3 sweet and 2/3 dry vermouth, no more than 4 dashes of finest bitters and the zest of a fine orange
Stranger: motherfucker I need a pint and a half bag!
You: ahh a bun man! mighty deep in his haze of sensemillia doth i catch a glimpse of this weak and pale spectre, he winces twitching for a taste of what i have
Stranger: dude...do you have any weed or not?
You: i offer him a cool pale ale from the Meantime brewery but he is too weak to grip the vessel, leading him in i decant the beverage into a crystal tankard
You: yes i have weed, im getting to that
Stranger: hurry up, sir gawain.
You: he raises his hand in a gesture of acceptance but know as well as him that it is a pointless effort to do so, i bring the vessel to his lips and he sups, slowly at first
You: after his drink is all but finished he turns to me with his ghostly enchanting eyes and brings his frail bony fingers to his cracked blue lips
You: the action repeated only twice is a short pull to and fro the lips, "Aha" i exclaim "it is cannabis you seek!"
Stranger: actually, I'm kinda glad I don't have any weed right now, cause if I did...you'd be killing my buzz.
You: with a swift turn i draw his attention to oak casket aside my woodworks
You: he smiles lifting his expression with a peaceful relief
You: i stand and slowly make my way to the desk, opening the casket i pull a single kingsize silver rizla (slim) and hold it in the air
Stranger: fuckin rice papers.
Stranger: use a ziggy, you dirty hippy!
You: he gasps but before he can say a word i pull a small translucent bag from beneath the velvet lining of the lid of the casket, for a second it glints in the sunlight
You: but mine lord, Rizla are used and smoked across all his majesty's kingdom, it is a doctrine of the highest order!
You: he quietens in his seat and his tired beady eyes follow my movements as i complete my deck
Stranger: then your king be a square!
You: DISSENTER!
You: if not so weak I would have challenged this cad to a dual but i put his quarrelous words down to mild delerium and get on with the task in hand
You: pulling soft strands of golden virginia from the half oz bag i study the man, he appears to be young, short and very thin with a gaunt hung expression
You: his hands rest to his sides and his knees close together
Stranger: lol, young yes. but not short and thin.
You: well he looks it
Stranger: BIG AND BURLY MOTHERFUCKER. I AM THE GREEN KNIGHT, YOU'RE MY BITCH, GAWAIN.
You: i finish laying down the tobacco and proceed to grind all the herb i have
You: oh dear his mind is not of this earth
Stranger: this weed better be not of this earth for all this fucking aroudn.
You: i regret feeding him the ale upon setting him down for he is quite obviously a lightweight
Stranger: the green knight is no green horn.
You: the soft pale chunks tumble from the stone bowl and each catches the setting sun as it falls to the soft bed of tobacco below
You: i turn to the man, "perhaps we should get some food in you before you smoke this, you look most troubled, was it the beer?"
Stranger: do you have any pizzaronis?
You: he shakes his head and points to the cannabis i have just that minute emptied into the plate laid out on the table
You: no i dont
Stranger: cornish hens?
You: at first i cannot make out his words
You: no i have nothing but bread and ale kind sir
You: and some hula hoops
You: but theyre all ready salted now
You: i lean closer and listen again,
You: "gl..aa...ssss w..eee..d"
You: i sit up, "no, it can't be"
Stranger: this better not be crystal meth.
You: he stares deep into my eyes and i know then it is a skank
You: a deep and sinful skank
Stranger: this is getting weird.
You: this weed that i had so trustingly purchased from a travelling gypsy is verily cut with the most poisonous of substances
Stranger: if it's weed, I'll smoke it.
You: i suddenly feel in no mood for company, you must leave. At first he protests in his own weak pathetic way but very quickly realises the anguish and pain that doth run through my very being, his exit is swift and as i move the lock to it's resting place i start to sob, softly at first but as each breath is done a weep more ghastly and peircing than the last fills the room as i slump against the cold oak door
Stranger: I'm not leaving without drugs
You: a knock
Stranger: that better not be the cops.
Stranger: or sherriff, or whatever your medieval times ass is into,
You: I stand and peep through the cracks for a glimpse of the visitor but it is too dark outside, slowly opening the door my eyes adjust to see the very stranger i had but minutes before ejected from mine very hovel
You: no its you, you're not following the story
Stranger: shit man, I just got out of school, I don't want to have to read no stories MOTHERFUCKA
You: i slowly but purposfully slide my hand into my moleskin jacket and removed a small but heavy foil form, catching the dancing firelight it appeared animated, alive
You: i slowly unwrapped the object, peeling the layers of thin alloy metal from the contents inside all the time standing in the doorway facing my new compadre
You: he smelt it first, the warm heady aroma of the soapbar
You: i smiled as his steps carried toward me, his gaze fixed upon the ebony lump betwixt mine finger and thumb
You: i backed away and led him to his chair, tipping the poisonous deck away i laid a new bed of tobacco, thicker than the last and covering much more of the plate
Stranger: HASH
You: yes sweet hash
You: oh it is a glorious day indeed
You: for i had forgotten this folly, this simple stash
You: and oh the laughter we shared as we smoked sweet sweet soapbar into the night reminiscing on the days joys and indeed heartbreaks and as the moon rose a small plume of blue smoked curl up into the trees tracking its arc across the clear spring skies
You: THE END
You: im gonna smoke some weed, see ya
You have disconnected.
sorry this one is so long but it is quite funny
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: huzzah!
Stranger: lvl 7 spell
You: and thusly they did meet witht the highest degree of anonimity
You: upon a room of chat
You: most merily and of course most verily did they set upon the task of conversion
Stranger: where I rested weak and weary
You: ah my sweet duke, what is this that ails you in both the body and the mind?
You: you are weak, i see this, rest yee here for as long as the good knight needs
Stranger: be the quarrells of trying to find a joint.
You: Aha!
You: i have both a joint and a manhattan for thine consumption this eve
You: most verily and of course merily i doth quoff and sup upon thine manhattan
Stranger: a strong draught will do just fine, but thou willst need more than a solitary joint to appease the voracious apetite of mine!
You: 1 shot of thine makers, 1/3 sweet and 2/3 dry vermouth, no more than 4 dashes of finest bitters and the zest of a fine orange
Stranger: motherfucker I need a pint and a half bag!
You: ahh a bun man! mighty deep in his haze of sensemillia doth i catch a glimpse of this weak and pale spectre, he winces twitching for a taste of what i have
Stranger: dude...do you have any weed or not?
You: i offer him a cool pale ale from the Meantime brewery but he is too weak to grip the vessel, leading him in i decant the beverage into a crystal tankard
You: yes i have weed, im getting to that
Stranger: hurry up, sir gawain.
You: he raises his hand in a gesture of acceptance but know as well as him that it is a pointless effort to do so, i bring the vessel to his lips and he sups, slowly at first
You: after his drink is all but finished he turns to me with his ghostly enchanting eyes and brings his frail bony fingers to his cracked blue lips
You: the action repeated only twice is a short pull to and fro the lips, "Aha" i exclaim "it is cannabis you seek!"
Stranger: actually, I'm kinda glad I don't have any weed right now, cause if I did...you'd be killing my buzz.
You: with a swift turn i draw his attention to oak casket aside my woodworks
You: he smiles lifting his expression with a peaceful relief
You: i stand and slowly make my way to the desk, opening the casket i pull a single kingsize silver rizla (slim) and hold it in the air
Stranger: fuckin rice papers.
Stranger: use a ziggy, you dirty hippy!
You: he gasps but before he can say a word i pull a small translucent bag from beneath the velvet lining of the lid of the casket, for a second it glints in the sunlight
You: but mine lord, Rizla are used and smoked across all his majesty's kingdom, it is a doctrine of the highest order!
You: he quietens in his seat and his tired beady eyes follow my movements as i complete my deck
Stranger: then your king be a square!
You: DISSENTER!
You: if not so weak I would have challenged this cad to a dual but i put his quarrelous words down to mild delerium and get on with the task in hand
You: pulling soft strands of golden virginia from the half oz bag i study the man, he appears to be young, short and very thin with a gaunt hung expression
You: his hands rest to his sides and his knees close together
Stranger: lol, young yes. but not short and thin.
You: well he looks it
Stranger: BIG AND BURLY MOTHERFUCKER. I AM THE GREEN KNIGHT, YOU'RE MY BITCH, GAWAIN.
You: i finish laying down the tobacco and proceed to grind all the herb i have
You: oh dear his mind is not of this earth
Stranger: this weed better be not of this earth for all this fucking aroudn.
You: i regret feeding him the ale upon setting him down for he is quite obviously a lightweight
Stranger: the green knight is no green horn.
You: the soft pale chunks tumble from the stone bowl and each catches the setting sun as it falls to the soft bed of tobacco below
You: i turn to the man, "perhaps we should get some food in you before you smoke this, you look most troubled, was it the beer?"
Stranger: do you have any pizzaronis?
You: he shakes his head and points to the cannabis i have just that minute emptied into the plate laid out on the table
You: no i dont
Stranger: cornish hens?
You: at first i cannot make out his words
You: no i have nothing but bread and ale kind sir
You: and some hula hoops
You: but theyre all ready salted now
You: i lean closer and listen again,
You: "gl..aa...ssss w..eee..d"
You: i sit up, "no, it can't be"
Stranger: this better not be crystal meth.
You: he stares deep into my eyes and i know then it is a skank
You: a deep and sinful skank
Stranger: this is getting weird.
You: this weed that i had so trustingly purchased from a travelling gypsy is verily cut with the most poisonous of substances
Stranger: if it's weed, I'll smoke it.
You: i suddenly feel in no mood for company, you must leave. At first he protests in his own weak pathetic way but very quickly realises the anguish and pain that doth run through my very being, his exit is swift and as i move the lock to it's resting place i start to sob, softly at first but as each breath is done a weep more ghastly and peircing than the last fills the room as i slump against the cold oak door
Stranger: I'm not leaving without drugs
You: a knock
Stranger: that better not be the cops.
Stranger: or sherriff, or whatever your medieval times ass is into,
You: I stand and peep through the cracks for a glimpse of the visitor but it is too dark outside, slowly opening the door my eyes adjust to see the very stranger i had but minutes before ejected from mine very hovel
You: no its you, you're not following the story
Stranger: shit man, I just got out of school, I don't want to have to read no stories MOTHERFUCKA
You: i slowly but purposfully slide my hand into my moleskin jacket and removed a small but heavy foil form, catching the dancing firelight it appeared animated, alive
You: i slowly unwrapped the object, peeling the layers of thin alloy metal from the contents inside all the time standing in the doorway facing my new compadre
You: he smelt it first, the warm heady aroma of the soapbar
You: i smiled as his steps carried toward me, his gaze fixed upon the ebony lump betwixt mine finger and thumb
You: i backed away and led him to his chair, tipping the poisonous deck away i laid a new bed of tobacco, thicker than the last and covering much more of the plate
Stranger: HASH
You: yes sweet hash
You: oh it is a glorious day indeed
You: for i had forgotten this folly, this simple stash
You: and oh the laughter we shared as we smoked sweet sweet soapbar into the night reminiscing on the days joys and indeed heartbreaks and as the moon rose a small plume of blue smoked curl up into the trees tracking its arc across the clear spring skies
You: THE END
You: im gonna smoke some weed, see ya
You have disconnected.
