Laws of the Bus

[capo ultra]

On Buses:
on the bus rule allow fattys sitting next to you.

Oyster card buses piss me off, what happened to good old cash!??!

The old man in me gets properly pissed off when you got some little nextman who wont give up his seat for the OAP who clearly needs to sit down for fear of death or issues with their incontinence pants.

On Toilets:
Oldman pubs, I dont use urinals any more only cubical. fed up of pissed next man striking up a conversation when im trying to take a piss, private time, back down. On that note what is it with people who talk - either on the phone or to someone in another cubical - when taking a shit, what's goin on there?

Also those clubs you dont want to be in - like yates if you can call that a club - where they have the matey by the sink who trys to wash your fucking hands and make you smell like a Vietnamese whore and then take your hard earned cash off you for it. allow that, I can wash my own hands thanks and I dont smell.

we have one in rock city in notts. many a time ive been ejected for getting in heated arguments with him cus the tnuc switches the hand driers off and takes all the bog roll and hand towels then makes you fucking pay for them. i just grab them and chuck them over the floor and he gets VEXXED

washing your hands after pissing is for puffs anyway, and no one should be shitting in a club. Problem solved

[missedthebus]

washing your hands after pissing is for puffs anyway, and no one should be shitting in a club. Problem solved

[Neurotik]

Every morining to college at like 8am i have to sit on a crowded bus, i feel uncomfortable. The bus gets into northfield, fuck load of school kids get on (luckily there is no 8am for chavs) to the point where, not only are all the seats are taken and they start to mass at the doors (of all LOGICAL places ), the whole walkway is full of people making it a case of devising strategies to actually get off!! Yet the 'so many standing' limit obviously has an exception on that one bus . I have to get off at the top of the hill from my college and take a 15 minute walk there because it's unbearable, i get off feeling nauseous and i'm not even claustrophobic. lol

In general i permanently sit on the bottom now, it's a case of a factual certainty that if you sit on the top deck you have the showcase of the worlds shittest music and a random selection of about 3 conversations from the pointless wastes of metabolic processes at the back; 1) "i gotta go court on wednesday enit blud, bangin dis geeza wiv da man dem.. n ting", 2) "smokin thiss fattt sliff da ova dayy ya knoooo", 3) "what u upto? nuffin man, it'z shit enit", & 3) "slap a beat on blud, wanna show ya sum neww barrzzz".

Oh, and 1 in 5 bus journeys here is a chav getting on the bus, refusing to pay the fare, remains on the bus and starts mouthing off when the bus stops and won't go anywhere "dis bus driva'z a dikhed blud", holds everyone up, and eventually gets off before doing the manly thing of shouting shit at the bus when it drives off. If ever there was an argument for determinism it's them.