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Pistonsbeneath wrote:your worth cannot be measured by pieces of paper be it cash monies or qualifications

none of this is real anyway...don't let them trick you into believing them

Pistonsbeneath wrote:your worth cannot be measured by pieces of paper be it cash monies or qualifications

none of this is real anyway...don't let them trick you into believing them

sd5 wrote:good advice fom WYS & Psychotic (who'll make a good psychotherapist no doubt)

Wolverine wrote:im in the same boat

Firkles wrote:

Pistonsbeneath wrote:your worth cannot be measured by pieces of paper be it cash monies or qualifications

none of this is real anyway...don't let them trick you into believing them

Init, never been asked for my degree, hnd, or alevel certs in my life, makes me wonder why i bothered... seriosuly thinking about not bothering doing me masters at durham or at all!

magma wrote: To the OP: You're only a failure if you WANT to succeed at something and don't. If you have no motivation, it's probably not the right thing for you... you need to have a solid think about what you want to do with your life and then, err, do it.

Neurotik wrote:I was near enough in the same situation not so long ago. I fucked up big time in school because i was dumb enough to prioritise fitting in with the popular crowd and conforming to the "careless moron" image over achieving; my way of compensating for social anxiety. I wound up with shite grades and no idea of what was out there for me or what i wanted to do. Partially the school's fault but realistically i still had to take the majority of the responisibility. I spent 3 years after school not exactly doing anything, i wound up in a state of clinical depression twice until i'd had enough. I could either stick in the cycle of wallowing in self pity over the issues i hadn't yet dealt with or i could face upto them and change things.

*prepare to cringe abit lol* After spending some time working with a psychologist i gained insight into the root causes and the consequential self beliefs and behaviours to be able to do something about it and change it. I managed to deal with the fact that, in the past, i'd try and place a great deal of dependance on relationships and my expectations of other people and i gradually managed to build that trust and repsect i was looking for in myself rather than in others. And another big part of why i ended where i was at the time was my way of dealing with anxiety i would encouter, which were mainly avoidance and detachment. I would go out my way to avoid things that i was anxious about failing at (exams, interview days, work experience, interviews etc.), and i if did wind up doing it i would detach any personal feelings from what was causing me anxiety so i could rationalise it if i failed.

The more i began to challenge avoidance, the more i began to gain confidence in things i would develop interest in. Once i actually had the interest and aspiration to apply myself at something i found out just how much i'm capable of if i willing to commit to it. I soon found myself developing long term plans for doing psychology at uni and beyond. Obviously i had a problem with the fact i had not got the sufficient GCSE's to be able to do the A-levels to be able to go on and do the rest but instead of giving up at the 1st hurdle i spent a year doing resits and i started A-levels this past september. So far it's great, i'm spending time learning about something i'm interested in and i'm getting rewards for the hard work i put in with the good grades i'm getting.

As much as i do regret alot of the past i can't afford to dwell on it as if a can change any of it, it just wastes time that could be effectively used in changing the future. Reading back through what i've just written i have gone on a big long random life story but i hope you can find some relevance in it. Don't believe your life is a failure because it's just reinforcing negative feelings that could leave you in a much worse state. Rather than convincing yourself that you've failed, become aware of the fact you're in a position of awareness and are now able to set about changing things. Try and see things in a more positive light and i'm sure you'll find something you will develop long term aspirations with. We all have potential, we just find different ways to best exercise it. Good luck for the future man and stay optimistic.

magma wrote:Pieces of paper don't make you happy

tronn wrote:Excellent post. It's amazing how much our anxieties can work with self deception to stop us from pursuing the things that we want, and then justifying it away, or placing the blame on something outside of us. I'm sure 90% of people in the world live their whole lives not being aware of this, not that it's anyone's fault, it's really not stuff thats taught unless you have really good parents.

Being aware is absolutely the biggest, most important first step, if you live your life every day making decisions that you THINK are right but leave a queasy feeling in the gut, you need to take time to think and really ask yourself tough personal questions about those decisions. Doing that regularly makes you more aware.

I dont think theres any sort of failure aside from failure to act. When you attempt to do something you want to do, you always GAIN something, even if you dont get what you want, you'll learn what you need to fix to get that thing. The only time you GAIN nothing at all is when you don't attempt at all, that's what I think failure is.

I'm still working past my anxieties, i read a TON of self help books, and my life has never been better. I recommend the same...

z.u.bee wrote:

Wolverine wrote:im in the same boat

you guys got a boat??? daaamn....

NilsFG wrote:

magma wrote:Pieces of paper don't make you happy

Hmm depends from person to person I think...
If I fail/start failing physics or chemistry next year at university it would depress me I won't get the degree I'm dreaming of!

That's all I wanted to say.

NilsFG wrote:

magma wrote:Pieces of paper don't make you happy

Hmm depends from person to person I think...
If I fail/start failing physics or chemistry next year at university it would depress me I won't get the degree I'm dreaming of!

That's all I wanted to say.

2manynoobs wrote:

NilsFG wrote:

magma wrote:Pieces of paper don't make you happy

Hmm depends from person to person I think...
If I fail/start failing physics or chemistry next year at university it would depress me I won't get the degree I'm dreaming of!

That's all I wanted to say.

People who aim to get a degree are NOT welcome on this forum.

That's all I wanted to say.

magma wrote:

NilsFG wrote:

magma wrote:Pieces of paper don't make you happy

Hmm depends from person to person I think...
If I fail/start failing physics or chemistry next year at university it would depress me I won't get the degree I'm dreaming of!

That's all I wanted to say.

The next bit of my sentence applied to you. Pieces of paper don't do anything - however, properly applied qualifications can make you very happy indeed. Like I said, my friend is walking out of Imperial into a pretty nice engineering job thanks to her degree and I have a mate who is now designing computer games because of his degree... however I also know people with bits of paper saying "degree" on them who's only evidence of having been at Uni is 15k of debt.

It's all about making the choices that are right for you. I'm seriously tempted to go to Uni (maybe Open Uni) at some point myself now that I know the things I like studying....

collige wrote:

2manynoobs wrote:

NilsFG wrote:

magma wrote:Pieces of paper don't make you happy

Hmm depends from person to person I think...
If I fail/start failing physics or chemistry next year at university it would depress me I won't get the degree I'm dreaming of!

That's all I wanted to say.

People who aim to get a degree are NOT welcome on this forum.

That's all I wanted to say.

2manynoobs wrote:masturbation

NilsFG wrote:

2manynoobs wrote:masturbation

You activated my trap card!