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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:05 am
by indi
What's blue and tastes like green paint?
Blue paint.
What big, green, has four legs and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table.
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 4:51 am
by pangaea
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.
I love shit jokes, they make me laugh a lot. Especially nonsensical ones made up by kids. Eg:
Q. What did the big ice-cream cone say to the little ice-cream cone?
A. 'Fuck off'
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 6:01 am
by adruu
a blind man walks into a bar. someone polite guides him to a bench. a bartender asks him what he wants, and he says a "club soda and gin on the rocks please"
after a couple minutes of silence, the blind man feels uncomfortable and speaks up and asks, " Do you guys want to hear a blonde joke?"
nobody speaks for a minute, and eventually the bartender says --
"Well...before you tell that joke, i've got to warn you. the bouncer, she's ex-military, just back from iraq, a couple of medals for bravery, and she's blonde."
She continues,
"The girl that brought you to your stool, she's a black belt. She works security at a local bank, and she's blonde also. Me, i was the 2000 weight lifting champion and i'm blonde also..."
"are you sure you still want to tell the joke?"
the blind man pauses for a second, slams his beer down, and says
"no, that's o.k., i dont want to have to explain it three times..."
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:55 am
by shonky
Heard the one about the Gestapo officer?
(Slaps face)
LIAR!!!!!!!
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:58 am
by diss
A Dyslexic Pimp walks into a warehouse.
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:28 pm
by paolo
i got my girlfriend a handbag and a dildo for christmas. if she doesn't like the handbag she can go and fuck herself
what's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
a drug dealer can't wipe his crack clean and sell it again
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:50 pm
by emcee child
paolo wrote:i got my girlfriend a handbag and a dildo for christmas. if she doesn't like the handbag she can go and fuck herself
what's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
a drug dealer can't wipe his crack clean and sell it again
2 cows were in a field.
the first cow looked up from chewing the cud and let out a deep "MOooOooo"
the second cow looked at her and said " you bitch, I was gonna say that".
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:43 pm
by sand leaper
paolo wrote:i got my girlfriend a handbag and a dildo for christmas. if she doesn't like the handbag she can go and fuck herself
Too right.
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:28 pm
by *decibella~~
a gas man walks upto a house and rings the doorbell
a boy answers the door in stockings, high heels and a wig, smoking a spliff
he askes the boy 'is your mum in pls?'
the boy says 'does it fucking look like it mate?!?'
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:41 pm
by ramadanman
Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a banana.
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:02 am
by kion
why did the transvestite fall over?
he slipped on a pettycoat
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:31 am
by Jubz
Whats blue and fucks grannies?
Me in my special blue coat.
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:43 am
by subframe
this horse walks into a bar.
the bartender sez:
"why the long face?"
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 3:36 am
by indi
What's the different between pink and purple?
The grip.
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:40 am
by paolo
how can you tell when your sister's on her period?
your dad's cock tastes funny