anti-jokes

particle-jim · Post by **particle-jim** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:39 pm

opinions are like arseholes... they're both nouns

bjackman · Post by **bjackman** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:46 pm

What did one lawyer say to the other?
"We are lawyers."

What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
They both have handlebars.
(except the duck)

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"where's my tractor?"

i also enjoy mixing joke formulae as in the following example:

What do you call a black man with a medical degree?
A doctARRRR

Electric_Head · Post by **Electric_Head** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:53 pm

don`t you mean a pirate with a medical degree??

magma · Post by **magma** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:54 pm

Electric_Head wrote:don`t you mean a pirate with a medical degree??

Did you read the sentence before the joke?

Electric_Head · Post by **Electric_Head** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:55 pm

but that`s lame

oh, ic

Perfecture · Post by **Perfecture** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:53 pm

What do you get when you cross Particle-Jim with a anti-funny idea......

This Thread

Only Messin, Just had to be said

I hold Wub's comment on the first page responsible for influencing this post.

particle-jim · Post by **particle-jim** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:56 pm

what do you get when you cross perfecture with... ermmm... nevermind

Pedro Sánchez · Post by **Pedro Sánchez** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:21 pm

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Don't call him anything, he has enough problem with that seagull being on his head.

Pedro Sánchez · Post by **Pedro Sánchez** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:25 pm

A Jew, a muslim and a christian one into a bar, bartenders say: "We're closed for refurbishing lads", they leave.
A Jew, a muslim and a christian walk into another bar, they're shit at high jump.

slothrop · Post by **slothrop** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:26 pm

So this medical caregiver of indeterminate gender--because nurses can be male or female--says to his or her disabled--or should I say, differently-abled--patient, 'Why do you have a penguin on your head? They're endangered!

AxeD · Post by **AxeD** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:30 pm

A jew, a muslim and a christian walk into yet another bar and they have the jew paying for everything...
obviously.

I actually do understand the concept of this thread.

Electric_Head · Post by **Electric_Head** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:33 pm

A Jew, a muslim and a christian walk into bar,
they have a good time

Perfecture · Post by **Perfecture** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:38 pm

A Muslim walks into a building full of christians and shit gets blown way out of proportion

particle-jim · Post by **particle-jim** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:53 pm

why did the catholic priest get sent to jail?

tax evasion

Electric_Head · Post by **Electric_Head** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:57 pm

how many jews does it take to skrew in a lightbulb?
1

grillis · Post by **grillis** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:58 pm

Mehlovich wrote:
particle-jim wrote:How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict?

It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

more

particle-jim · Post by **particle-jim** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:59 pm

Electric_Head wrote:how many jews does it take to skrew in a lightbulb?
1

the answer is 3
one to screw in the light bulb, one to hold the ladder steady and the 3rd to complete a thorough health and safety check

grillis · Post by **grillis** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:59 pm

bjackman wrote:also enjoy mixing joke formulae as in the following example:

What do you call a black man with a medical degree?
A doctARRRR

hahah jeez this thread is good after some herb

Perfecture · Post by **Perfecture** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:01 pm

At first I was sceptical about this thread, But I am actually finding "Anti Jokes" funnier than alot or actual Jokes.........does that make me retarded??? or Am I not alone on this??

Btw thats not an Anti-Joke

grillis · Post by **grillis** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:03 pm

^I'm having a seriously hard time coming up with any.. can't get the stupid to humour ratio right.. the two i quoted above were on point

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