Professor Nonce's School for Nincompoops

dutty yuppie · Post by **dutty yuppie** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:37 pm

Why are Scottish birds so ugly?

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:38 pm

LEQ wrote:Do penguins have knees?

All birds have jointed legs. however, they are not directly comparable to human knees, as they are frequently jointed in the opposite or 'backwards' direction, and lack patellas.

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:39 pm

How do you explain the word "cheeky" to someone?

And whats the opposite of guilt?

LEQ · Post by **LEQ** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:42 pm

If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:43 pm

forensix (mcr) wrote:How long does a pigeon live for on average?

A healthy pigeon might survive for around 11 years in the wild, and in an appropriate environment, although some specific pigeons are known to have survived well over 30 years.

the average feral/town pigeon live for 3-5 years.

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:46 pm

Thomas wrote:Vultures don't stalk or kill themselves yeh?

Why are they still birds of prey?

Correct. This is a common misconception. They are in fact scavaging birds.

Thomas wrote: also, when will we evolve to have a built in sky+ remote?

When such a feature begins to affect your chances of survival in the wild.

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:48 pm

LEQ wrote:If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

In ancient times marbles were typically made from marble or agate. As glass manufacturing techniques developed, so did marbles.

kins83 · Post by **kins83** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:49 pm

gravious wrote:
Thomas wrote: also, when will we evolve to have a built in sky+ remote?
When such a feature begins to affect your chances of survival in the wild.

You'd also need a mutant to be born with that feature in the first place, and to survive (and successfully mate) due to it having an advantage in fitness (not looks).

misk · Post by **misk** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:52 pm

hes not a professor! look! his tail is sticking out of his clothes! hes a RABBIT!

...

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:52 pm

Dutty Yuppie wrote:Why are Scottish birds so ugly?

quoniam vestri matris, as my old master used to tell me.

thomas · Post by **thomas** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:02 pm

gravious wrote:
Thomas wrote:Vultures don't stalk or kill themselves yeh?

Why are they still birds of prey?
Correct. This is a common misconception. They are in fact scavaging birds.

Wikipedia claims they are birds of prey.

May i be so bold as to suggest you advance from this school?

shonky · Post by **shonky** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:04 pm

Is it possible to catch AIDS off a kitten?

randomhed · Post by **randomhed** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:06 pm

Is sex with a dolphin illegal within international waters?

flippo · Post by **flippo** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:09 pm

Shonky wrote:Is it possible to catch AIDS off a kitten?

LOL

thomas · Post by **thomas** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:09 pm

Shonky wrote:Is it possible to catch AIDS off a kitten?

Did it split?

shonky · Post by **shonky** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:14 pm

Thomas wrote:
Shonky wrote:Is it possible to catch AIDS off a kitten?
Did it split?

It walks a bit funny

Well a lot funny

Well it's sort of dead

Great conversation piece now though, far less repulsive than when it used to sit on the dining table tossing it's own salad. I've stuck candles in it and surrounded it with pebbles and a wooden egg. People have asked where they can get one but I told them it was a one off

Funny thing is I've got another 300 in the basement

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:14 pm

Thomas wrote:
gravious wrote:
Thomas wrote:Vultures don't stalk or kill themselves yeh?

Why are they still birds of prey?
Correct. This is a common misconception. They are in fact scavaging birds.

Wikipedia claims they are birds of prey.

May i be so bold as to suggest you advance from this school?

Does not a wiley schoolmaster reserve the right to preach his (mildly heretical) ideas to fresh young minds? If not, then by george I would not have become a teacher!

Furthermore, it would depend on your description of "birds of prey".

I merely suggest that the taxinomic system most commonly used for the avian world is at best archaic, and at worst arbitrary.

The following article may bring you up to speed with my views:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibley-Ahlquist_taxonomy

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:15 pm

randomhed wrote:Is sex with a dolphin illegal within international waters?

No. As long as you are also a dolphin, or other non-human creature.

teknics · Post by **teknics** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:15 pm

if an apple looked like an orange, but tasted like an apple. by that i mean it looked like and apple but had all the orangyness an orange has in the middle.

what is it?

gravious · Post by **gravious** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:17 pm

Teknics wrote:if an apple looked like an orange, but tasted like an apple. by that i mean it looked like and apple but had all the orangyness an orange has in the middle.

what is it?

A hypothetical creation of your substance addled cranium!

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