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there does not exist yet an emoticon for what you have just said

Pedro Sánchez wrote:Went round to a mates house to play Megadrive and while he was getting me and another mate a drink, his younger brothers decided to show us how they have been putting each others willies in their mouths. Mate comes into room to witness this, kicks fuck out them both and threatens us if it ever got out. grim times.

sounds like some top banter

we all know its the parents fault for not shelling out on a nes

had it been an amiga instead... nsfw

When I was about 4/5, my brother and my mom were playing darts with some shitty dartboard in the back garden. I ran past as my brother threw a dart, embedded just below my tear duct. Fucking close.

garethom wrote:When I was about 4/5, my brother and my mom were playing darts with some shitty dartboard in the back garden. I ran past as my brother threw a dart, embedded just below my tear duct. Fucking close.

That made my whole body recoil reading that

Might've mentioned the story on here before about the time I almost fell about 50 foot off the side of a cliff in cornwall when I was 16/17. Thinking back on all this shit, there's just load of examples were if shit had gone slightly differently, I could've died/been fucked up for life, but as a kid you just brush it off.

when i was 6 i lived right next to a park so my parents would just let me go there whenever

one time an old man came up to me and said he was writing a book about childrens feet and asked if he could take pictures. i immediately had visions of becoming a world famous foot model and said yes

obv there was no book, and some old guy jerked it to pictures of my perfect feet.

garethom wrote:When I was about 4/5, my brother and my mom were playing darts with some shitty dartboard in the back garden. I ran past as my brother threw a dart, embedded just below my tear duct. Fucking close.

That reminds me of a time when an older kid on our estate who we nicknamed 'Game Over' because he was fucked in the head decided to play human space invaders with a few of us in a fenced in construction yard, him having an endless supply of bricks at his disposal and us having no where to go, we got absolutely fucking pelted, it stopped when one of us has his head split open and 'Game Over' ran off, I was black and blue for weeks and had to hide it from my parents for fear of what my dad would do to him if he found out, previously my dad tried to run him over after 'Game Over' tied me face down to a pallet and I managed to walk home with the pallet still attached, so I had been warned to stay away from him.

OK i'll stop.

I'm scared of Pedro's dad

Some of these stories are fucking boring

I need more about the phonebooks and wells

When i was younger i wenrCatholic school so one day in like 2nd grade i got our of having to go to first friday mass by sniffing markers and getting a headache, unfortunately they teacher found said markers and i had to have a talk about "loving my body" but i got out of mass so i guess it was worth it

I would've thought they'd have a suitably sized candle for such an occasion.

ehbrums1 wrote:When i was younger i wenrCatholic school so one day in like 2nd grade i got our of having to go to first friday mass by sniffing markers and getting a headache, unfortunately they teacher found said markers and i had to have a talk about "loving my body" but i got out of mass so i guess it was worth it

lol why wouldn't you just say you had a headache without actually giving urself one

m8son wrote:

ehbrums1 wrote:When i was younger i wenrCatholic school so one day in like 2nd grade i got our of having to go to first friday mass by sniffing markers and getting a headache, unfortunately they teacher found said markers and i had to have a talk about "loving my body" but i got out of mass so i guess it was worth it

lol why wouldn't you just say you had a headache without actually giving urself one

i used to laugh when i lie

good story ehbs needed more phone book and/or well tho

i remember laughing when i shouldn't laugh as one of the worst moments of my childhood

Once upon a time, I was in timeout and I decided that I needed to take a shit. so I did. I then preceded to wipe the shit all over my body. and that's all i have to say about that.

hahaha what the fuck

tbh i can't really remember anything that happened to me younger than like 15

OGlemon can't either.