Keeping The Fire Burning

[3za]

Better?

[nowaysj]

Ambition
I'm less ambitious now, like I wanted to be signed to warp records. Like that was the goal, and I wasn't going any lower (even though they don't accept demos lol). I wanted to be better than the guys I looked up to on Warp. I wanted to be remembered in the future like bach ffs. At the very least I wanted to make a living from music. Now I don't give a shit about any of that, apart from the last one, but than only because I wouldn't have to work doing something I hate for a living.

I feel you re the 15 yo girl bit, fucket, just go for it, we're adults here, we can be 15 year old girls.

But I see this as the core of your issues. What you call ambition here is a dead end imo. Now if you're a truly wrecked person, like you have NO self worth, maybe this could compel you to scale the heights. But I don't think you're that fucked up, and thank god.

But this is vanity motivating you. You're doing this for self image. This is some weak basis. This will not withstand the test of time, as you are feeling now. What'd I write, like #2, or #3, do whatever you want, no body cares/is listening. I really believe if you just did what you wanted to, really delved into what interests you about sound, music, time, the grooving grind, whatever it is, that you'd make valuable and meaningful work. Work that might even end up at Warp. But if you just set out to be better than X, that isn't enough fuel. It is going to get old and burn out. You'll lose all your friends and family, and for nothing. You're body will get sick. The vanity will erase you.

There is a fountain overflowing with good music inside of you, but if you go there only to gaze at your own reflection, you will never drink of it, you will die of thirst.

Dr. Nwj prescribes the TUNA! for you to defeat the negative aspects of your vanity.

Put your music on Sound Cloud, put your latest track in your sig, and post more frequently.

Also, fuck yes re video. I've always, like for 25 years, had very strong visuals with music. I really want to make videos for some songs. I almost feel like making the song and the video would be the whole process. Like, when I make the song without video, the strength of the song dissipates without that focus of the visual in time. I know you're talking about working towards preexisting video, I'm talking a little differently, but there is a lot of overlap there. Honestly, though, I feel like it would be a tremendous ball ache. Like I really do hate making music on the computer, I hate sitting at my desk, though largely cause my chair is fucked, so it painful, but spending like 2x in front of the computer for a song just seems like I couldn't do it.

But like I talk about getting distracted by virtual/theoretical cable routing, I'm getting distracted by visuals, so I might have to start addressing it. I've actually never done it. Not true, I used to do stuff for film and tv, but not what I'm talking about, like, I'm talking really just pure music videos.

[nowaysj]

You sick fuck. This is exactly what I'm talking about. This is you, in your vanity, just gazing at yourself. It's a metaphor.

You've lost years to it.

[3za]

Dr. Nwj prescribes the TUNA! for you to defeat the negative aspects of your vanity.

Maybe once.
though I would have a problem with doing it. My track would either be to shit to share, or to good share in my eyes

Put your music on Sound Cloud, put your latest track in your sig, and post more frequently.

Thats not going to happen.

I have tonnes of tracks no ones heard that I like, but I want a fresh start for them. So I put them on a new soundcloud, and got like 2 play in 6months, and no followers. I think 3za is dead, and done tbh. I want a fresh start, but it's hard finding one, and I don't know how to full cut loose.

[nowaysj]

Ah, jeez, you really are a disaster. You're making me feel better about myself. Thank you! Absolutely invaluable, few can do it.

[wub]

I want a fresh start, but it's hard finding one, and I don't know how to full cut loose.

Release a record where your new alias kills the old alias;

[hubb]

I wish kool keith was my dad

[3za]

I want a fresh start, but it's hard finding one, and I don't know how to full cut loose.

Release a record where your new alias kills the old alias;

Thats suicide hahaha

Ah, jeez, you really are a disaster. You're making me feel better about myself. Thank you! Absolutely invaluable, few can do it.

Noways you're a terrible shrink.

[nowaysj]

Noways you're a terrible shrink.

Wait until you get my bill.

[hubb]

too good a shrink ime

[fragments]

I pretty much exclusively worked on music while baked for seven years...I haven't smoked any herb since around the end of this May...huge game changer...

Dude. Dude. Dude. Making music stoned is so fun, it is amazing. You can come up with shit that is so out of the box, fuck can someone come up with another expression for that that doesn't sound so ghay, but.

I swear, that is like 7 years treading water. So disappointed to find out at this late stage that drugs and alcohol are a waste. Really do weaken your faculties. The human mind, spirit is helluv powerful, but will go into decay with drugs and alcohol for lack of challenge.

Honestly, glad you sobered it up. I bet there is gonna be a learning curve, like learning how to relate to music straight, but once you get into that, and you bring your full faculty to music, ah, good things.

I got to work on music enough over the past few months that I think as my brain readjusted to life in general it readjusted to making music. I'm still convinced my memory and faculties are still in recovery. Smoking herb became a game of diminishing returns in general. I still drink beer. Wine with a meal once in a while. Generally stay away from distilled spirits except for the occasional top shelf cocktail when out and about.

Fuck, I used to get got in endless stoner loops of pointless knob twiddling! Shit now if I take a beer to the studio I end up throwing half of it out because I get so into what I'm doing I forget its there and an hour later at break time its warm and flat

----

Somewhere in this thread someone said something about they used to spend 3-4 hours a day working on music and reduced it down to so many hours a week, but ended up making better use of less hours spent. I have found this true as well. I remember getting my copy of FL Studio 7 over the winter break from school...man...everyday day was blunted marathon session of nonsense. While that was cool, I feel like I too get way more out of my limited time in the studio these days. I can probably finish 2-3 songs a month these days with the time I spend in the studio.

I think your hobby/passion has to evolve with your life. I've got a house, a girlfriend, a social life, my parents and my brother and his fam all live in the area...I teach, work at the leather shop etc. Do I spend most nights after work with my woman, the cats and netflix...yep...don't care really...we go out and do things Saturday and Sunday. Most semesters I end up with a weekday off and get in some hours then...but shit...I don't get up early and jump right in. I take my time, get up, drink my stupid iced coffee with almond milk, read the internetz, then sometime after lunch I grab a beer and boot up the studio...

I'm never going to be that early twenties blunted basshead again.

I've totally let go of caring about releasing records. I've got a long term project I've been slowly building towards over seven years of this and I've taken a shit ton of detours...maybe when that project is finished and the quality is enough to my satisfaction that I get of run it on vinyl I will loose my passion.

I don't get in the studio near as much as I used to, I'm not a part of a scene, I don't even listen to that much electronic music in general...dunno man I just don't even care. I'm really loving where I'm at right now with it all.

I'm not trying to come off like I'm above or beyond external validation--but the process still amazes me. It isn't even like making music with a guitar...I mean that I can take some random fucking sounds and shape them into something totally different...amazing...that I can start with basic waveforms and create crazy signals from outer space...I just don't seeing me getting bored with that.

I'm sure someday I'll turn into some fat, hair slob modular synth nerd who never makes actual tunes as well...but at that point I'll turn in my DSF membership for a muffwigglers and gearslutz badge.

[nowaysj]

[AxeD]

imo

[fragments]

#mymusicgenitalzstillburn

[cyclopian]

Haha, going back and listening to Mineshaft, fuck you dude, that is doper than I recall. To hell with you.

hahah thanks for the kind words man!

[3za]

You guys all seem so passive, this is what you need;

[cyclopian]

Wow, that is a truly terrible song.

[erratech]

I became a lot happier when I stopped trying to shout into the void. Focus on the connection you have with people through music, who gives a fuck if you dont have internet points. The only thing you can be the best at is being who you are. The way I see I dont care if I am losing 'the game' of music because it isnt a game to me I just do shit I think is honest and if it speaks to people then that is amazing and special but if it doesnt then that is ok too. I keep the fires burning by having the parts of myself be congruent and that extends through music as well as everything else.

[nowaysj]

Remember when plugins were new, everyone was developing them, you could actually start to make music with them. Their graphics were dope. I remember when I got excited about plugins. That fire has gone out.

[fragments]

I became a lot happier when I stopped trying to shout into the void. Focus on the connection you have with people through music, who gives a fuck if you dont have internet points. The only thing you can be the best at is being who you are. The way I see I dont care if I am losing 'the game' of music because it isnt a game to me I just do shit I think is honest and if it speaks to people then that is amazing and special but if it doesnt then that is ok too. I keep the fires burning by having the parts of myself be congruent and that extends through music as well as everything else.

Plus fucking one. The game is a joke. Respect man. Respect.