TELL ME A JOKE

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deamonds
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Post by deamonds » Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:35 am

lol yong always killing it

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diss04
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Post by diss04 » Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:38 am

a survey has shown that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
Parson wrote:...and then God said unto Eve, "Have some of that, slag."

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firky
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Post by firky » Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:49 am

q_steppa wrote:ok, christmas day and the royal family are bored, so camilla says lets play 20 questions. wat shes thinking of is a black mans cock.

so prince charles ask's "can it fit in the breadbin?" and camilla says yes.

princess diane ask's "can i put it in my mouth?" and camilla says yes

so the queen says "is it a black mans cock?"
Shit joke is shit.
Sound System Rental

Inventor of the Turban.

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Hide_One
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Post by Hide_One » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:00 pm

whats small and round and fucks African Children?



















A LANDMINE!!!

boom boom!
..::Just When I Think I Know Wot Im Thinking::..

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spire
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Post by spire » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:13 pm

Keggah wrote:whats small and round and fucks African Children?











A LANDMINE!!!

boom boom!
haha, oh thats terrible.


heres one my bus driver friend told me.


Theres a couple thats been married for 15+ years, over the years the husband has insisted they make love with the lights off. One night the wife turns the the lights on to find that her husband has been using a dildo on her all these years. She is PISSED off, and and yells "How could you do this all these years!!!???" he says "Ill explain the dildo when you explain the kids, bitch!"

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diss04
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Post by diss04 » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:21 pm

If I'm honest I'd say that I'm not scared of a Third World War. I mean, that's the Third Worlds problem - not mine.
Parson wrote:...and then God said unto Eve, "Have some of that, slag."

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spire
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Post by spire » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:23 pm

its 430 in the morning where i am and i just found this one. it might not be that funny, but i had a good laugh. says its the "funniest joke in belgium"

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out fires.


Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks

RubiconMan
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Post by RubiconMan » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:24 pm

Diss04 wrote:If I'm honest I'd say that I'm not scared of a Third World War. I mean, that's the Third Worlds problem - not mine.
lol - cold!



I got ripped off yesterday, bought a Jade Goody calender but it only goes upto April :cry:
"Our guest will arrive at some point, depends what time The Bill finishes."

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diss04
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Post by diss04 » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:27 pm

Are-K142 wrote:I got ripped off yesterday, bought a Jade Goody calender but it only goes upto April :cry:
lol heard that one yesterday, but they said it went up to March...

What do you call Jade Goody in a wedding dress?


A shuttlecock.
Parson wrote:...and then God said unto Eve, "Have some of that, slag."

faust.dtc
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Post by faust.dtc » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:48 pm

PMSL Thats jokes Diss. Any one who takes the lime light away from the death of Pauline Fowler (dont know her real name) deserves to be made fun of...

Q.What do you get after 5 days of masturbation?
A. A weakend

Q. What do gays and ovens have in common?
A. They both brown meat.

yong
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Post by yong » Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:34 am

deamonds wrote:lol yong always killing it
lol in what way do you mean "killing it"

q_steppa
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Post by q_steppa » Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:51 am

Firky wrote:
q_steppa wrote:ok, christmas day and the royal family are bored, so camilla says lets play 20 questions. wat shes thinking of is a black mans cock.

so prince charles ask's "can it fit in the breadbin?" and camilla says yes.

princess diane ask's "can i put it in my mouth?" and camilla says yes

so the queen says "is it a black mans cock?"
Shit joke is shit.
u dare insult the work of david brent
wat

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firky
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Post by firky » Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:50 am

q_steppa wrote: u dare insult the work of david brent
Insult him? Id shit him.
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Inventor of the Turban.

q_steppa
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Post by q_steppa » Sun Mar 01, 2009 8:21 am

does that make any sense
wat

deamonds
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Post by deamonds » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:00 am

yong wrote:
deamonds wrote:lol yong always killing it
lol in what way do you mean "killing it"
i meant it was a gooden, made me laugh, yah?

sexist jokes do it for me cause i can imagine the e-looks you're getting

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did
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Post by did » Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:28 am

why are tampons always grumpy?

cus they're stuck up stnuc

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jibba
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Post by jibba » Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:44 am

I called that rape advice line earlier today.

Unfortunately, it's only for victims.




Austrian nonce Josef Fritzl is writing a new book.

People are doubting whether it will be a best cellar.




If a motorcyclist runs into a woman, who is to blame?

The motorcyclist is. He shouldn't have been riding in the kitchen.




A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Merseyside and, trying
to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that
she is a Liverpool fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool
fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't
you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asks: "Well, if you're not a Liverpool fan,
then who are you a fan of?"

"I'm a West Ham United fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Hammers
fan?"

"Because my mum and dad are from the eastend, and my mum is a West Ham
fan and my dad is a West Ham fan, so I'm a West Ham fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher, in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you
to be a West Ham fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of
the time.

What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car
thief, what would you be then?"

"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
Image
South Coasterz - fantasy football legends
Benzos For Breakfast - 2009/10 soon to be legends

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did
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Post by did » Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:06 pm

Jibba wrote: If a motorcyclist runs into a woman, who is to blame?

The motorcyclist is. He shouldn't have been riding in the kitchen.
that almost killed me

faust.dtc
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Post by faust.dtc » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:02 pm

I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance."
Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!"

Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken.
So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.

Q. What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country?
A. Sexy kids.

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firky
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Post by firky » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:08 pm

Isn't this the "cut and paste a joke off sikipedia" thread? :p
Sound System Rental

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