The Secret Ninja Wrestling Thread

[wub]

Wrestlemania predictions;

1) The Rock (c) vs. John Cena - Cena wins (though Rock retaining b2b Cena heel turn would be preferable)
2) Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger - Swagger wins, Ziggler cashes in straight afterwards
3) The Undertaker vs. CM Punk - Taker wins
4) Sheamus, Randy Orton & Big Show vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) - Shield wins, either Orton or Big Show to turn on their own team
5) Ryback vs. Mark Henry - Ryback wins
6) Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston - Hell No retain
7) Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H - My head says Triple H but my heart says Lesnar.
8 ) Chris Jericho vs. Fandango - Jericho wins but puts Fandango over in a massive way (TBH he has to otherwise the character is pretty much dead)
9) Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz - Miz wins, massive tnuc that he is.
10) Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay and Tensai) and The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) and The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki Bella) - Rhodes Scholars wins (if for no other reason that it'd make no sense to resign the Bellas and then have them lose their first PPV)

[Blenky]

My Mania predictions

1) Ceenee wins dohohoh
2) Swagger wins, Not sure if ziggler will cash in, it makes sense, but it's made sense for him to cash in every week since he got the frigging briefcase
3) No question, taker wins but put's punk over huge
4) The Shield win, if orton turned that would be pretty sweet, blandy boreton is actually a good out n out heel instead of a tweener
5) Sexual chocolate all the way. Henry Wins
6) I think Ziggler and choc lesnar are actually going to take the titles, due to a team hell no split up mid match.
7) Triple H will be going over brother, he needs to get his win back.
Jericho is quite a good guy for putting over new talent, I think fandango may well get a win here leading to a massive feud
9) Yeah the miz wins. I go have a piss while this match is on
10) Rhodes scholars

[wub]

Hopefully the Miz match will be on the preshow


TBH if they wanted to mix things up, they could have Ziggler & Langston win the titles AND then have Ziggler successfully cash in later in the night. Bring AJ back into the Divas title picture then have a stable with multiple gold, sort of an Evolution for the PG-era.

[wub]

Also, quite excited about the idea of PAC/Adrian Neville getting some decent exposure in NXT;



With Mysterio retiring they need some new blood in the high flyer department...though I read Evan Bourne should be back from injury soon. Fuck it, why don't they bring back the Light Heavyweight title? They've got 3hrs to fill on RAW, may as well cut down on the crappy skits and movie promos a bit more and expand the divisions slightly.

[Blenky]

WWE...doing something that makes sense and enhances the programme....Are you mad?!?!?!

[davwuh]

1) The Rock (c) vs. John Cena - Rock wins and swerves everyone, drops the belt on Raw or Extreme Rules instead. Cena hints at turning heel, but doesn't.

2) Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger - ADR wins, Ziggler cashes in and fails, ADR gets mega heel heat from crowd despite being face. Just a typical WWE thing to do.

3) The Undertaker vs. CM Punk - Taker wins. No point even deliberating.

4) Sheamus, Randy Orton & Big Show vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) - Shield win, Sheamus turns heel to swerve everyone.. nah.. Orton or Big Show heel turn. Yawn. This show has become so stale we're already talking about who is going to turn heel in this match to give Shield the win, rather than who will win.

5) Ryback vs. Mark Henry - Ryback wins, lifts Henry up for shellshock

6) Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston - Hell No retain, boring match

7) Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H - Lesnar wins, Triple H retires on the grand stage

8 ) Chris Jericho vs. Fandango - Faaaan...daaaaaaaan..goooooooooo wins

9) Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz - Miz wins, retains his fake WM streak

10) Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay and Tensai) and The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) and The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki Bella) - What a fucking crap match, let's hope it's bumped to the pre-show along with the tag titles match. Tons of Fat win I presume

[wub]

5) Ryback vs. Mark Henry - Ryback wins, lifts Henry up for shellshock

He's going to botch this, just wait & see

[davwuh]

Isn't there already a wrestling thread?

Rock vs Cena is like deja vu, teasing a not gonna happen Cena heel turn. Plus basically a forgone conclusion Cena will win, and Cena can't carry Rock the way Punk can.

I thought Cena-Rock was a way better match any of the Punk-Rock matches.. they were pretty sub-standard. Maybe it was because Rock was less roided up last year, or because it was Mania.. but those Punk matches were fucking bland.

[davwuh]

5) Ryback vs. Mark Henry - Ryback wins, lifts Henry up for shellshock

He's going to botch this, just wait & see

I have faith in the Ryback

[wub]

He botched doing it to Heyman a couple months back at a house show FFS.

[Blenky]

Isn't there already a wrestling thread?

Rock vs Cena is like deja vu, teasing a not gonna happen Cena heel turn. Plus basically a forgone conclusion Cena will win, and Cena can't carry Rock the way Punk can.

I thought Cena-Rock was a way better match any of the Punk-Rock matches.. they were pretty sub-standard. Maybe it was because Rock was less roided up last year, or because it was Mania.. but those Punk matches were fucking bland.

Rock doesn't have the stamina to put on a series of matches nowadays, last year he had 1 match to work up to so it was less noticeable, but when he has to do any more it's clear he's become sluggish and just can't keep pace.

And yeah ryback will botch it, and hopefully get sent back to NXT so I don't have to see his one dimensional ass anymore. Vince needs to fuck off and stop pushing hoss's already

[davwuh]

I liked Ryback, up until he lost his streak. He really could've been huge if they didn't fuck that up and the Goldberg comparisons seemed legit. Now he's just another beefed up guy with a stupid catchphrase.

[Blenky]

I liked Ryback, up until he lost his streak. He really could've been huge if they didn't fuck that up and the Goldberg comparisons seemed legit. Now he's just another beefed up guy with a stupid catchphrase.

I liked ryback until it was clear he was purely getting pushed because he could lift things, and he's shit at doing that consistently.

[wub]

They fluffed the play with Ryback massively IMO...should've gone the Goldberg route with him, few months slowly squashing his way further up the roster, then either an IC or United States reign before challenging for the heavyweight title.

[davwuh]

I liked Ryback, up until he lost his streak. He really could've been huge if they didn't fuck that up and the Goldberg comparisons seemed legit. Now he's just another beefed up guy with a stupid catchphrase.

I liked ryback until it was clear he was purely getting pushed because he could lift things, and he's shit at doing that consistently.

Nah, he's alright, it's not like we're talking about Great Khali here. He's got a lot of charisma. Honestly, the few weeks preceding Hell in a Cell, I haven't seen a guy get arena-shaking face pops like that in many years. Also, he has some decent power moves, even if he has botched a few times. Lifting Jinder and Heath Slater for Shellshocked on Raw was impressive I thought.

[davwuh]

They fluffed the play with Ryback massively IMO...should've gone the Goldberg route with him, few months slowly squashing his way further up the roster, then either an IC or United States reign before challenging for the heavyweight title.

For sure. Never should have been booked to face Punk. Ideally he should've been built up to Mania squashing everyone and then gone over Brock Lesnar.. would've been huge.

[FuDuzn]

To be fair, he was kind of pushed to face Punk because of the injury to Cena. I am sure they wanted to bring him along more slowly. But after Cena the big faces were Sheamus(in a feud with Big Show) or Orton(still not back in the good graces of Vince. There really wasn't another viable option outside of Ryback.

[davwuh]

That's true. I think the best thing would have been to have Ryback win, but come up with a contrived storyline to put the belt back on Punk the next night. Would've been a bit shitty, but at least they woudln't have killed Ryback's momentum

That said, if he manages to lift Henry for Shellshock at Mania, and with all the part-timers going after Mania, I can him lighting a fire again in the next few months.. Feud with heel Cena, maybe?

[magma]

Fuck it, some predictions for the aftermath I can be proven wrong about too.

1) The Rock (c) vs. John Cena - Rock wins. He's booked for more work after WM and I can't see him sticking around to help put anyone else over. Cena will get the strap at Extreme Rules *after* a heel turn. Maybe a Shield related heel turn, but probably a fluffed asshole heel turn that nobody buys because it's not John Cena the babyface their bored of, it's John Cena's fucking face.

2) Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger - I want to agree with davwuh, because ADR really is the most charisma lacking champion ever. He only managed to keep up a tiny amount of heel heat by using Ricardo as a human shield and driving expensive cars. Nobody... gives... a... fuck. Swagger will win. Ziggler will cash in making him a champion twice over on the same night.

3) The Undertaker vs. CM Punk - Taker wins. I actually thought that Punk had a shot at this before Paul Bearer died, but now that they've brought him into the angle there's no way. He's going to get fucked up by the Deadman and take some time off to recover from his actual injuries.

4) Sheamus, Randy Orton & Big Show vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) - Shield wins because of an Orton heel turn... Orton to lead The Shield... who'll reveal Punk and Paul Heyman have been calling the shots behind the scenes all along as/when Punk comes back.

5) Ryback vs. Mark Henry - Henry wins and gets onto one last championship push before he retires. He doesn't need to put Ryback over and Ryback needs to pay some dues.

6) Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston - Dolph and Big E win it after interference from AJ causes Team Hell No to split up. Daniel Bryan turns heel to launch some sort of title bid somewhere.

7) Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H - Triple H wins; there hasn't been nearly enough build up for the jeopardy involved especially now that they've said it'd stop him being "COO" as well. Trips will be retired around WM30 by Punk and somehow, HBK.

8 ) Chris Jericho vs. Fandango - Fandango wins and turns out not to be a terrible wrestler, just a wrestler with a fucking AWFUL gimmick. He'll be jobbing around the midcard by autumn.

9) Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz - Miz wins so that people download the app to see a title change. Both of these two deserve a great feud, but there's just no chemistry. Miz is Rowdy Roddy Piper, not Ric Flair.

10) Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay and Tensai) and The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) and The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki Bella) - Rhodes Scholars should win, but won't because WWE want the sexually confused bears-dancing-in-fancy-dress bondage extravaganza to happen at least twice. Vince McMahon is one fucked up individual. I really hope the WWE uses this to somehow produce the most almighty heel turn out of Albert where he snaps and fists Brodus Clay to death in front of a shocked PG13 crowd before kidnapping the Funkadactyls and the Bella Twins and forcing them to wrestle against animals in his own travelling show. But they'll probably just carry on dancing like fucking morons and wrestling for the odd 5 minutes here and there.

[wub]

8 ) Chris Jericho vs. Fandango - Fandango wins and turns out not to be a terrible wrestler, just a wrestler with a fucking AWFUL gimmick. He'll be jobbing around the midcard by autumn.

Props to Curtis for selling his character so well though;



Gotta respect the adherence to kayfabe...even if he's stuck like that until he goes over

10) Tons of Funk (Brodus Cla and Tensai) and The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) and The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki Bella) - Rhodes Scholars should win, but won't because WWE want the sexually confused bears-dancing-in-fancy-dress bondage extravaganza to happen at least twice. Vince McMahon is one fucked up individual. I really hope the WWE uses this to somehow produce the most almighty heel turn out of Albert where he snaps and fists Brodus Clay to death in front of a shocked PG13 crowd before kidnapping the Funkadactyls and the Bella Twins and forcing them to wrestle against animals in his own travelling show. But they'll probably just carry on dancing like fucking morons and wrestling for the odd 5 minutes here and there.

Tons Of Funk are necessary and TBH I can see them wearing the gold at some point. Taking two wrestlers on the downslide and pairing them into something greater...Natural Disasters, Acolytes, even the Outlaws...all born out of singles competitors who had kinda run their course.