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"will you come home with me?"

"Excuse me, does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

WANNA GO HALVES ON A BASTARD?

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WANNA GO HALVES ON A CONDOM?


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I JUST WON THE LOTTERY

I got loads of sweets and a whole room full of barbie dolls at home.

Hold my pint while I go to the shitter to use the condom machine.

I don't use chat up lines :S my mate does. His standard one is "are you a chicken farmer because you sure know how to raise a cock"

Not a chat up line, but I use this intro all the time:

"Hey, I was wondering, would you girls mind weighing in on a debate me and my friends are having, we need some female input, my friend over there, *point* see him?"

"yea"

"well, his girlfriend kissed another guy a few nights ago and we're wondering what you girls think on this one. Is kissing counted as cheating?"

*cue massive debate between the girls because they love that stuff for some reason, cue your friends coming over, cue your mate getting some sympathy*

Works best if you have three guys, you and two mates, but it's a simple intro that works every time.

I have a Polish friend from Germany too which is great, he just strides over and asks if they'd help him improve his English. Other night he made an approach and came back to our table with 4 girls, literally took him no more than about 6 seconds.

I love my Polish/German friend.

kaiori breathe wrote:
"Hey, I was wondering, would you girls mind weighing in on a debate me and my friends are having, we need some female input, my friend over there, *point* see him?"

"yea"

"well, his girlfriend kissed another guy a few nights ago and we're wondering what you girls think on this one. Is kissing counted as cheating?"

*cue massive debate between the girls because they love that stuff for some reason, cue your friends coming over, cue your mate getting some sympathy*

Works best if you have three guys, you and two mates, but it's a simple intro that works every time.

I have a Polish friend from Germany too which is great, he just strides over and asks if they'd help him improve his English. Other night he made an approach and came back to our table with 4 girls, literally took him no more than about 6 seconds.

I love my Polish/German friend.

That sounds pretty decent actually

ivysomething wrote:this guy stopped me on the street on new years...

his pick up line was a song he wrote for me while his car was parked in the middle of the street, blocking traffic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRjbOcp0PI0

Guy has good game.

LEQ wrote:Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart.

WIN

"What material is that you're wearing?"


"Oh it's just cotton."


"Well it looks like wifey material"





Then you edge away very quickly following an awkward silence.

dj seizure wrote:Then you edge away very quickly following an awkward silence.

a skill i have perfected over the years

"Do farts have lumps?"

BLAHBLAHJAH wrote:"Do farts have lumps?"

That is fucking vile.