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Love the fact the link reads as 'ANGER WANK'

Duffman wrote:Love the fact the link reads as 'ANGER WANK'

at my mates wedding last year he said to me "mate there's some nice single bridesmaids....easy night for you tonight.

the night ended up with a gay guy cracking onto me (he cornered me in the toilets and tried to get me to feel his 'breasts), and being accused of being a paedo (separate incidents). Not how I wanted it to play out tbh.

Then there's the time I was telling all my sisters friends (all about 10 years older than me) how I used to smoke a bit....so they spark up...I had approximately 3 tokes of skunk and passed out.

woke up...my sister in tears...everyone crowding around, me not knowing what had happened and saying I'm fine......and I pass out again.

herbs wrote: Then there's the time I was telling all my sisters friends (all about 10 years older than me) how I used to smoke a bit....so they spark up...I had approximately 3 tokes of skunk and passed out.

woke up...my sister in tears...everyone crowding around, me not knowing what had happened and saying I'm fine......and I pass out again.

Like your name btw Haha.

bandshell wrote:Blocked my grandma's toilet with a shit and flooded the downstairs floor with shit, bog roll and nasty water.

Had a wank in my grans sink and forgot to clean the sink.

I can't stop laughing at the fact that you wacked off into a sink.

Thought of a new one. *Warning, fairly long post ahead*. This isn't your typical slap-stick sex/fart embarrassing either, this is more cringe-worthy/weird as I look back.

Basically at University, I was on my own one Saturday night as my 5 housemates had all gone on a night out. It was about 1AM and I was watching a film and was ready to go to sleep. Anyway, I hear banging on the front door...at 1AM. This isn't a knock either - this is like proper "I'm going to kick your f£££ing door down" banging. This, accompanied by shouting "I'm going to come in and rob you/Let me in" etc by a few voices scared me sh!tless. Within 5 seconds, my adrenaline had taken over and I had the flight response. I instantly ran out the back door, jumped the fence and legged it onto a park/housing estate behind my house. In my daze, I left the door open, with my phone/laptop logged on in doors. However, thinking they'd already entered the front - I was too scared to care. I kept sprinting (in no shoes/trainers) for a good mile, which sounds easier than it is. As I was fairly new to the area, as well as it being pitch black, I had ran so far in my state - I was lost (I know the front town of my area well, but behind me/North is completely different. I've never been there as there's no reason too. So basically, I end up miles past a river and I'm cold, scared and tired.

I decide to walk/jog back in the night which ruins my jeans and I end up with bloody feet as they're so worn. I must have ran about 10 miles that night, and it was very surreal. I ended up asking an African hospital worker for directions, who looked at me like I was batsh!t insane (and rightly so) - as well as knocking on houses looking for people to call the police for me (to no avail). I ended up dialing 999 at a phonebox and said I'd been robbed. What was just as surreal was walking through the main town and seeing pissed students coming out to the street, who must have thought I was homeless or something. Anyway, few hours later at maybe 5AM I arrive home.
It turns out my house was never robbed, the police asked my mates if I was a drug user (Which I'm not) and looking back - it was probably just a few pissed pikeys causing bother. The sick thing is, if I'd have listened to music loudly or something and not heard, then I'd have gone to bed 5 minutes later none the wiser!

Nonetheless, at the time I thought I acted correctly. As the disclaimer states, it's not really your typical embarrassment but when I look back I really cringe. My housemates haven't spoke about it since, which I think shows how touchy the subject is!

I would have just answered the door holding a big knife, not run ten miles through town with no shoes on

So much feces in this thread

-drunk, fell asleep on the toilet, woke up entirely naked
-drunk, woke up on a pile of leaves in a random garden. When I woke up the owners appeared to be away on vacation, had some luck there. It really is quite weird to wake up like that.
-drunk, when I woke up I found out I shat myself. It happened at a festival so I pissed off the friend I shared the tent with.
- friend of mine came home from a night out. He decided to have a little wank before he went to sleep but he fell asleep while wanking. His mother entered his room the next day, she found her son with his soldier in his hand and just tucked him in.

I think I have a load more but these are my favorites.