Whats the most disgusting thing thats ever happened to you?

[wubstep]

Getting a suckjob on a beach in Egypt at night.

Near the point-of-no-return.

See a creepy local barman standing, staring about 20m away, who we passed on the way to the shore.

He sees that I see him.

Walks over smiling, hands me a glass of lemonade as if it's some sort of justification/peace offering.

We leave swiftly.

A bit of a different style to most of what's gone down in this thread, but still equally disgusting.

[NickUndercover]

Getting a suckjob on a beach in Egypt at night.

Near the point-of-no-return.

See a creepy local barman standing, staring about 20m away, who we passed on the way to the shore.

He sees that I see him.

Walks over smiling, hands me a glass of lemonade as if it's some sort of justification/peace offering.

We leave swiftly.

A bit of a different style to most of what's gone down in this thread, but still equally disgusting.

sounds like a Pasolini movie mate

[LACE]

That story reminds me of the beast that tried ate me and my girlfriend alive ( ) at Outlook.


No word of a lie, this thing was like the size of my phone and sounded like a fucking electric razor of death.

= O

Ya...ya that is eerily similar. I was trying real hard not to taste it.

[nicenice]

Was absolutely hammered at one of my house parties a while back and started taking a leak. The dog walked in and started licking it, as I was pissing, and I didn't have the heart to shoo him away, so in my drunken state I just rolled with it. He trotted out with me in quick succession and immediately I see some drunk girl crouch down to give him kissssies. He licked her whole face and mouth. I was fucking cracking up. Now I feel bad.

fucking dogs. they seem to enjoy it though

[LA_Boxers]

Not me but somebody i know:-

We are at Glasto and its the Radio 1 night in Shan-gri-la (sic?). He is on a load of MDMA, and has just taken the fattest rock. The place is packed out and we are right by the stage for Chase & Status. He says he needs a shit, point him in the direction of where the toilets are and leave him to it. Comes back about half an hour later saying he has had the biggest shit ever and some dude had given him some toilet roll and that.

Make our way back to our tents, smoke a joint and try and sleep. Wake up the next day and we ask him about it. Says this time that there was no toilet roll and some dude gave him 2 wet wipes. It was well dark so he doesnt even know how clean he is/was. Goes back into the tent to check the boxer shorts he is still wearing, shouts for us to get a bin back and whacks them in.

He slept in the shittiest pants like EVER. We didnt shower the whole time we were there either. Think he possibly used a whole box of baby wipes though!!

[lloydnoise]

Not me but somebody i know:-

We are at Glasto and its the Radio 1 night in Shan-gri-la (sic?). He is on a load of MDMA, and has just taken the fattest rock. The place is packed out and we are right by the stage for Chase & Status. He says he needs a shit, point him in the direction of where the toilets are and leave him to it. Comes back about half an hour later saying he has had the biggest shit ever and some dude had given him some toilet roll and that.

Make our way back to our tents, smoke a joint and try and sleep. Wake up the next day and we ask him about it. Says this time that there was no toilet roll and some dude gave him 2 wet wipes. It was well dark so he doesnt even know how clean he is/was. Goes back into the tent to check the boxer shorts he is still wearing, shouts for us to get a bin back and whacks them in.

He slept in the shittiest pants like EVER. We didnt shower the whole time we were there either. Think he possibly used a whole box of baby wipes though!!

reminds me of a story my brother told me. Him and his mates went to Reading and had a circle of tents. The first night they went out, got trollied and a few of them did their first pill, they have a heavy one and end up back at the tents where they all fall asleep. The next morning my brother's mate nudges him awake going 'did you just fart?', then 'actually, have you shat yourself??'... they roll over to find shit everywhere, in the tent, on their clothes, sleeping bags and on them. Lying right there is one of their mates pairs of boxers (obvs shat himself on the beans) but he totally denies it and starts making up excuses like 'it could have been a fox' (LOL)...
My brother had to go to hospitality to get the human faeces washed out of a cut in his arm..

[wubstep]

LOL'd @ the 'fox'.

[LA_Boxers]

Damn those foxes!!

[Basstronomer]

LOL'd @ the 'fox'.

[Motorway to Roswell]

When I was around 12 or 13, we went on holiday to France. Stayed in a one star campsite at one point. This campsite was fucked. The toilets were like a little concrete cubicle with a barn door lashed on.

There was this guy with one leg tearing around on a quad bike. (He had shorts on so you could just see this empty short leg flapping about.)

There was a guy who drove a tractor around with a wagon thing on the back, my dad made my brothers and I go on it while he went to the bar. So my brothers and I are sat in the back of this thing, driving off into the countryside with all these other french kids just like "What the fuck is going on?"

There's this weird drunk guy with no top on who who keeps leering at my dad's girlfriend's daughter the whole time. When we got back we went to the bar for a bit, eventually we go back to the tent and my brother climbs in his sleeping bag. I hear this "UEGHHHH" and come out of my compartment.

His whole sleeping bag is plastered in shit. Thick clumps of it all over his pillow. Big shitty footprints too. He'd got into it, layed down and felt something weird on his head.

Me and my other brother always crack up when we talk about it. He's always the butt of jokes so the fact that somone came, shat in the tent and only on his stuff was too much. Thought I was going to piss myself at the time.

That campsite was fucked, though. Never again.

(On the same holiday, I managed to jump on a seesaw and that same brother was on the other end. He flew forward and landed groin first on the handle at my end. He had to go to the doctor when we got back. Apparently his cock and balls were literally black.

My dad and I also had a run in with armed police for setting a tent up in this wooded area at the side of the road.)

[Ruttah]

Il say no more.

[hayze99]

During Besti last year, we lost a 5 man tent, so we had about 7 of us sleeping in one tent.

I came back with a couple mates, tripping absolute balls and started rolling up spliffs. I reach down to grab a bottle of water next to my bag, and touch a massive wet patch - a river of liquid running through the corner of the tent; I thought I'd just dropped a bottle of water or something, so I wasn't too alarmed. I held my fingers up to my nose and thought it smelled a bit pissy, but to be quite honest, I could hardly even breathe through my nose at that point. I started running around to everyone in the tent, shoving my fingers under their nose, saying 'is this piss?', 'you reckon that's piss?'. Normally this would be completely socially unacceptable, but with all of us in the state we were it turned into an episode of fucking Sherlock Holmes, and there we were - 5 mashed up adults having a lengthy and completely serious debate over whether there was actually piss on my fingers or not. Everybody was intrigued.

It was piss. Another one of our mates staying in the tent came back earlier and thought he targeted the tent next to ours. The river I thought I'd imagined actually was a river, but thankfully my bag acted like a dam. I spent the next couple days walking around the festival in a piss-soaked cat costume. I spent the journey home in piss stained jeans. 3 days after I arrived home I had to unpack a week old bag of stale piss.

Every year I go to Bestival I seem to get pissed on.

The day later I had a medic asking to shove a finger up my arse, but that's a different story.

[gnome]

Jesus chrst why did you take a photo?

[deadly_habit]

being stabbed or taking shrapnel and a bullet in iraq are amongst the highlights
the heelprint scar on my back from being jumped and left for dead by a gang is also up there
fml

[64hz]

story that a guy in work told me today when we were talking bout random things we had overheard:
he's sitting on a bench in a town centre when 2 chavvy/pikey sorta girls come and sit next to him and start talking loudly.
one of them starts going on about how she currently on her period and its a really bloody one, apparantly her words were "its like a slit wrist",
and not only that, but when ever she coughs, a little bit squeezes out.
she stops talking to take a drag on her cigarette, , , and immediatley starts coughing.

[JemGrover]

Fuck me, this thread got grim

taking shrapnel and a bullet in iraq

Ding ding ding, we have a winner

[TSH-Tim]

Waking up next to a 52 year old woman....

[Devry_Kaneda]

Waking up next to a 52 year old woman....

you seem to have made a mistake.

I'm sure you meant for this to end up in the "Whats the most awesome thing thats ever happened to you?" thread...

[TSH-Tim]

Was good fun

[grillis]

Haven't had anything to contribute until now.

A few nights ago I had to remove some of these:



Was holding back gag reflexes from just seeing it come out, on top of that the physical prodding of finger-to-throat was causing extra gagging.. but worst of all was THE SMELL!!! Urgh it reeeeked and that was causing even more gagging.. I felt incredibly nauseous. Had no idea these things existed, and was shocked to find them sitting on the back of my throat after I checked one evening because it felt as if something was stuck there. I'm usually pretty OCD with my oral hygiene as well so this was just an all round horrible experience. Was glad to find out they're relatively common tho and not the result of bad hygiene or smoking. It was nowhere near as bad as the video either.