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My mum once saw me selling acid to someone on a street corner when she drove past as well. When i got home a lot of questions were asked.

bandshell wrote:Had a wank in my grans sink and forgot to clean the sink.

tears running down my face laughing at this...

Fuck me bandshell. Thats unfortunate!

yeah, my parents put up with a lot.

You get away with murder!

Well .... dealing.

bandshell wrote:yeah, my parents put up with a lot.

Margo wouldnt put up with that shit Magma!

Jeez.

Ham wrote:Margo wouldnt put up with that shit Magma!

Jeez.

Yeah, you're right there. I reckon Felicity Kendal would've let you have the odd toke though.

Magma wrote:

bandshell wrote:yeah, my parents put up with a lot.

is that margo from the good life!?

I swear I saw her (or a spitting image) on holiday this year in a village near Newcastle.

Wearing a top which her nipples showed through.

great thread.

Don't have anything that good really.

Magma wrote:

Ham wrote:Margo wouldnt put up with that shit Magma!

Jeez.

Yeah, you're right there. I reckon Felicity Kendal would've let you have the odd toke though.

Blatantly .... I bet her and tom harvest up some good shit in that cellar!

Never in my life did i think that I'd be on a forum, let alone a dubstep forum, and see a montage of photos of Felicity Kendal performing what can only be described as a gravy based wet tshirt competition.
Magma, congrats.

Embarassment wise, when i was living at home on a couple of occasions after a night on the beers i've gone to the toilet for a cheeky vom stark bollock naked and passed out spread eagle on the floor only to wake up a few hours later in the same position but with a towel peserving what was left of my modesty. Naked next to a toilet of sick is a big look.
Cheers mum.

I think I'm going to have to stop reading this thread. I'm stifling laughter so much now that there are tears rolling down my cheeks. I have a choice of either looking like a deranged moron, chuckling to himself or like I'm about to commit suicide.

BLZDub - that's fucking killer. My only drunken embarrassment (well, that I remember?) with my parents was the morning after a night out with my brothers. Probably the first time I ever had a heavy night with them (I guess I was about 14-15, they were students and so could actually drink)... we went to see the Wurzels and I got f u cking hammered on Ale and then Red Wine and weed.

Woken up early in the morning by my Dad reminding us all that we were supposed to be having a family day out in Torquay. After one of the most uncomfortable car journeys of my life, I ended up throwing up over the side of a boat and eventually being left to my own devices on a (craggy as fuck) beach whilst my increasingly disappointed parents went off to have a good time without me.

Magma wrote:One of the best things I ever witnessed at school was during an RE class in Year 9ish (maybe 10)... we'd got the head of department covering for our normal teacher and in typical "I don't have a lesson plan" style, she'd decided we were going to do an hour of guided meditation.

Everyone, imagine you're in a quiet place with a stream, your favourite animal and a comfortable place to lie. You can feel the relaxtion starting to creep into your toes, through your feet, into your ankles, your calves, your knees.... now into your thighs... your hips feel relaxed now, your buttocks....

*CUE LOUDEST FART I HAVE EVER HEARD*

The guy that did it was a bit of a tnuc, but I still reckon it's the best fart anyone has ever done.

Genius. Nothing is better than a well timed fart
I actually laughed out loud

Not the most embarassing, but the only one I can think of at the moment...

Talking to two birds and they mentioned their mate who was completely shameless apparently, at which point I thought it would be a brilliant idea to bring up the fact I recently had a shit that blocked the toilet and had to use a chisel to chop it up so it would flush.




YEP

According to my mum when i was about 14 I got really drunk at a family BBQ and 'came out' in front of everybody. Ive never had a gay thought in my life so I have no idea where this came from...but for some reason I believe her

I really hope the many women I brought home or have introduced her to since have taken that doubt out of her mind...

Well about a year ago, when i was 14, i was at this small festival near in Kimmeridge, just sparked up the BIGGEST bifta i've ever smoked, we're talking like 17cm, and my mum sees me and shouts 'BUSTED' and comes and gives me a talking to whilst i still have the j in my hand. Later that night she happens to see me eating some hashcake too.

But the most embarrassing was when I had to give a talk in assembly and half way through i need to sneeze and it was one where all of your snot comes out.

Magma wrote:One of the best things I ever witnessed at school was during an RE class in Year 9ish (maybe 10)... we'd got the head of department covering for our normal teacher and in typical "I don't have a lesson plan" style, she'd decided we were going to do an hour of guided meditation.

Everyone, imagine you're in a quiet place with a stream, your favourite animal and a comfortable place to lie. You can feel the relaxtion starting to creep into your toes, through your feet, into your ankles, your calves, your knees.... now into your thighs... your hips feel relaxed now, your buttocks....

*CUE LOUDEST FART I HAVE EVER HEARD*

The guy that did it was a bit of a tnuc, but I still reckon it's the best fart anyone has ever done.

Coincidentally one of the best farts I ever did was in an RE class. I went to a Catholic school and we was asked by the teacher if we knew any of the 10 commandments to which I quickly and bang on cue replied 'Thou shalt not *insert loud fart noise*'

It got a big laugh...but i got detention.

This thread is too funny. Argh, my stomach and jaw are killing! Bandshell, is your life one long excruitiating cringe moment?


First time I met my ex-girlfriend's parents, not only did they see me sparking up a joint as we drove away, I also , for some reason, called her the 'queen of the herpes' as we were sat around the dinner table enjoying a civilized first meeting.

I meant to jokingly say something vaguely defensive as they were joking about me being under the thumb, and I came out with that....


Also, when I was about eighteen I thought I had a free house for a night as my dad was away. So I invited my ex down (the same one) and we took some shrooms, and got busy in the front room.

Trouble is I got the day completely wrong and my Dad came home at the usual time, to the sight of two naked sweaty tripped out teenagers sprawled across the floor, clothes and drugs everywhere. He didn't even know I smoked.


That just reminded me of a similar incident. Was in my house with two girls, one of them the same ex, the other one a friend of ours who was, shall we say, well up for it. Things got a little heated (in a good way) and just as they started getting undressed - whilst I was pinching myslelf to make sure it was really happening - just as the flesh and fun was about to begin, my Dad came home really really early!
Not embarassing, just

Karmacazee wrote:This thread is too funny. Argh, my stomach and jaw are killing! Bandshell, is your life one long excruitiating cringe moment?


First time I met my ex-girlfriend's parents, not only did they see me sparking up a joint as we drove away, I also , for some reason, called her the 'queen of the herpes' as we were sat around the dinner table enjoying a civilized first meeting.

I meant to jokingly say something vaguely defensive as they were joking about me being under the thumb, and I came out with that....


Also, when I was about eighteen I thought I had a free house for a night as my dad was away. So I invited my ex down (the same one) and we took some shrooms, and got busy in the front room.

Trouble is I got the day completely wrong and my Dad came home at the usual time, to the sight of two naked sweaty tripped out teenagers sprawled across the floor, clothes and drugs everywhere. He didn't even know I smoked.


That just reminded me of a similar incident. Was in my house with two girls, one of them the same ex, the other one a friend of ours who was, shall we say, well up for it. Things got a little heated (in a good way) and just as they started getting undressed - whilst I was pinching myslelf to make sure it was really happening - just as the flesh and fun was about to begin, my Dad came home really really early!
Not embarassing, just

No wonder she is now your ex...