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i've cheated on someone and been cheated on. both made me feel terrible. now i wouldn't do it because i know what its like

vulvavibration wrote:

yooamatwa wrote:

vulvavibration wrote:i'm right now in a 'open relationship' (you call it like that in english?). i'm too young to safe myself for one woman. but i love her. it's jst that sex doesn't necessary have to be a thing of big emotions and love.

I know people in open relationships, outwardly they seem to be alright. I reckon you have to have the right sort of temperament and outlook on life. Personally I'm not sure if i could handle it Ultimately is it ever just sex though, things always seem to get messy one way or the other.

be clear from the beginning and it will not get messy. and most important: don't mess around in other girls emotions. if she wants sex too, then have it. if she wants flowers and a child, don't

100% correct...

my last gf slept with one of my best mates on my fucking birthday... i still haven't recovered from that even tho it was nearly 2 years ago now, it totally destroyed my confidence and I'm now useless at talking to women and am pretty much a social leper.

particle-jim wrote:my last gf slept with one of my best mates on my fucking birthday... i still haven't recovered from that even tho it was nearly 2 years ago now, it totally destroyed my confidence and I'm now useless at talking to women and am pretty much a social leper.

Fuckin hell man... I had a similar experience in my late teens - I can tell you now, It's not worth holding onto any feelings
of inadequacy you may have manifested. Sooner or later you'll realise she's not worth it and as long as you feel the way you
do, you're letting yourself be controlled. Serious advice is to start living, its the only way you crack on. What I mean by that
is get out there and throw yourself into those socially awkward situations - because then you learn to cope and deal with it -
you'll start forgetting about the ex. With life comes new experience and old ones get thrown out.

gwa wrote:what about shagging yer missus best mate. anyone ever done that?

two ofem... oops

did she find out?

jazzamataz wrote:

particle-jim wrote:my last gf slept with one of my best mates on my fucking birthday... i still haven't recovered from that even tho it was nearly 2 years ago now, it totally destroyed my confidence and I'm now useless at talking to women and am pretty much a social leper.

Fuckin hell man... I had a similar experience in my late teens - I can tell you now, It's not worth holding onto any feelings
of inadequacy you may have manifested. Sooner or later you'll realise she's not worth it and as long as you feel the way you
do, you're letting yourself be controlled. Serious advice is to start living, its the only way you crack on. What I mean by that
is get out there and throw yourself into those socially awkward situations - because then you learn to cope and deal with it -
you'll start forgetting about the ex. With life comes new experience and old ones get thrown out.

i think a lot of it is down to the huge increase in my ganja consumption after finding out... that probably fucked me up more 2bh

particle-jim wrote:

jazzamataz wrote:

particle-jim wrote:my last gf slept with one of my best mates on my fucking birthday... i still haven't recovered from that even tho it was nearly 2 years ago now, it totally destroyed my confidence and I'm now useless at talking to women and am pretty much a social leper.

Fuckin hell man... I had a similar experience in my late teens - I can tell you now, It's not worth holding onto any feelings
of inadequacy you may have manifested. Sooner or later you'll realise she's not worth it and as long as you feel the way you
do, you're letting yourself be controlled. Serious advice is to start living, its the only way you crack on. What I mean by that
is get out there and throw yourself into those socially awkward situations - because then you learn to cope and deal with it -
you'll start forgetting about the ex. With life comes new experience and old ones get thrown out.

i think a lot of it is down to the huge increase in my ganja consumption after finding out... that probably fucked me up more 2bh

Yeah, I did that also... Went completely off the rails with drugs and alcohol - got kicked out of my house, failed my AS levels, stopped talking to my mates (repercussions of breaking the social circle) etc etc...

Got to the point where I lost everything I actually valued and ended up living with my nan for six months and working at Pizza hut wondering what the fuck happened to me.
But then I got the epiphany, realised its not worth crying over spilled milk and started re-building relationships with my parents, got my ass into college, met some VERY nice lady-folk (all of whom I'm still really good friends with and really owe them my renewed faith in the fairer sex), sobered up and sorted my life out (basically).

Just don't be afraid of the social scene in regards to women - the rejection level is minimal - you can't go any lower - so the only way is up, really.

And worst comes to worst, use the rating system - get your mates to rate you out of ten, and then go for a girl 2 points lower than you - get your willy wet and build some self-esteem.