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particle-jim wrote:

Electric_Head wrote:how many jews does it take to skrew in a lightbulb?
1

the answer is 3
one to screw in the light bulb, one to hold the ladder steady and the 3rd to complete a thorough health and safety check

Non of them three could find the time to acquire the knowledge it requires to change the bulb given their accountancy and property ownership work, they bought in help then, argued amongst themselves about the lack of tip he would receive.

grillis wrote:^I'm having a seriously hard time coming up with any.. can't get the stupid to humour ratio right.. the two i quoted above were on point

just think of a standard joke and then replace the punchline with a factually correct answer... all there is to it really

knock knock

hello

i know a brilliant 'knock knock' joke, but you have to start it

knock knock

who's there...

thats not how this works...

brettheaslewood wrote:thats not how this works...

grillis wrote:

Mehlovich wrote:

particle-jim wrote:How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict?

It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

more

this is fucking gold

It`s me Tennyson Trixie

What do you call a gramatically incorrect horse?

an horse

Some gems in here I like these 'Anti Jokes'

particle-jim wrote:

brettheaslewood wrote:thats not how this works...

it was a genuine lol moment for those few posts the other day (or was it yesterday)

Why does Michael J. Fox make awesome milkshakes?

Because he only buys the best ingredients.

DRTY wrote:Some gems in here I like these 'Anti Jokes'

+1 .... honestly that pig joke is one of the best things I'v seen for ages

apologies in advance



A little boy is walking down the streets when he sees a fireman tending to a fire hydrant...

Like any kid, he's astounded to see a real life hero not ten feet from him. He runs to the fireman and proceeds to throw out all manner of compliments. The fireman is so flattered the only thing he can think to do is invite the kid to the fire station. The child accepts and they head out. There, the fireman shows the kid the great pole they slide down, the shiny red fire engine--he even lets him put out a small, controlled fire in the backyard. It's been a great day for both the child and the fireman. At the end of the day, the kid says, "Mr. Fireman, Mr. Fireman, I know what I wanna be when I grow up; I wanna be a fireman just like you!" The fireman's heart is touched. He says, half choked from emotion, "W'll, kid, promise me one thing: that you'll always be brave." "Okay, o-KAY, I'll ALWAYS be brave!" he cries, darting out the door. The kid darts home, jumps into the kitchen, and says, "Mom, mom, I know what I wanna be when I grow up!" And his mom says, "You're not going to grow up--you have AIDS."

What do you do if an Epileptic has a fit in the bath?

Pull the plug so they dont drown, and call an Ambulence.

particle-jim wrote:

grillis wrote:^I'm having a seriously hard time coming up with any.. can't get the stupid to humour ratio right.. the two i quoted above were on point

just think of a standard joke and then replace the punchline with a factually correct answer... all there is to it really

says particle-jim as he slowly unloads his years of hard work post by post

particle-jim wrote:

brettheaslewood wrote:thats not how this works...

Piss off the pair of you