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Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:08 pm
by pk-
a woman goes to the doctor complaining about odd twinges around her stomach. doctor runs a few tests and gets her to come back a week later.
"well," he says, when she comes back, "I think it's safe to say you're in for quite a few sleepless nights and plenty of nappy changing!"
"oh my gosh!" exclaims the woman "you mean I'm pregnant?"
"no," replies the doctor "I mean you've got bowel cancer"
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:18 pm
by pk-
little Tommy goes over to little Amy's house to play one day.
about 2 or 3 hours after he dropped him off, little tommy's dad opens the door to little Amy's mum, holding her tearful daughter's hand and little tommy by the scruff of the neck
"Your son's not right!" she shouts "I don't want him coming over to play any more!"
"Why, what's happened?!" replies the shocked father
"They were playing doctors and nurses!" exclaims the outraged mother
"Ah," says the father, "Well, they're at that age when they're bound to be sexually inquisitive, and..."
the mother cuts him off "Sexually inquisitive?! He's removed her fucking appendix!"
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:23 pm
by faust.dtc
Firky wrote:Isn't this the "cut and paste a joke off sikipedia" thread? :p
Lol Guilty as charged...
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:46 pm
by collige
A baby seal walks into a club....
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:13 pm
by ELLFIVEDEE
collige wrote:A baby seal walks into a club....
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:27 am
by Dead Rats
q_steppa wrote:ok, christmas day and the royal family are bored, so camilla says lets play 20 questions. wat shes thinking of is a black mans cock.
so prince charles ask's "can it fit in the breadbin?" and camilla says yes.
princess diane ask's "can i put it in my mouth?" and camilla says yes
so the queen says "is it a black mans cock?"
I nearly pissed...
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:48 am
by BLZDub
How long does it take to fry a baby?
Don't know, was too busy wanking.
(A gem from last years Bangface)
Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:37 pm
by escobar satan
I'm going to maintain my standing as lude, crude, and socially unacceptable...
What's better than fucking a 5 yr. old girl in the ass?
Nothing.
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:30 am
by bagelator
deamonds wrote:how did the girl know her mum was on the rag?
her brothers cock tasted funny
youve prolly heard that, havent got many new 1s
fail.
how did the BOY know his SISTER was on the blob?
his DAD's dick tasted of BLOOD.
it's far more offensive.
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:31 am
by bagelator
escobar satan wrote:I'm going to maintain my standing as lude, crude, and socially unacceptable...
What's better than fucking a 5 yr. old girl in the ass?
Nothing.
evil . i laughed though.
Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 11:27 pm
by rectaldubz
dirty joke just for you stench:
A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.
The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."
The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."
The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up.
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 12:22 am
by oski
a man walks into a bar...
OW
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 3:32 am
by karmacazee
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 8:58 am
by SK3W3R
whats black and screams?
stevie wonder awnsering the iron.
whats the difference between maddy and a patch of grass?
about six feet.
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 10:56 am
by did
pk- wrote:little Tommy goes over to little Amy's house to play one day.
about 2 or 3 hours after he dropped him off, little tommy's dad opens the door to little Amy's mum, holding her tearful daughter's hand and little tommy by the scruff of the neck
"Your son's not right!" she shouts "I don't want him coming over to play any more!"
"Why, what's happened?!" replies the shocked father
"They were playing doctors and nurses!" exclaims the outraged mother
"Ah," says the father, "Well, they're at that age when they're bound to be sexually inquisitive, and..."
the mother cuts him off "Sexually inquisitive?! He's removed her fucking appendix!"
one of the funniest jokes ive ever heard
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 12:03 pm
by superslim
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire!!!
Whats the best thing about fucking twenty five year olds???
There is twenty of them!!!
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 12:15 pm
by groucho_marxx
Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 12:19 pm
by osky
groucho_marxx wrote:
hahahahaahaha