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Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:41 pm

You're such a fucking nonse. She's said she don't wanna be in no relationship?

Time to break out the beer, my friend. Get fucking steaming and just try it on. Trust me, you're doing yourself proper over this. Plenty more fucking birds in the sea. I had a bird similar, and then we both got tanked, and low and behold, she reveals she's fancied me for ages. As soon as the words came out, I was all over her trying to engage in drunken monkey sex, and low and behold, it worked!

Down a few, try it on, and see what happens. This shit is beyond tedious now. No bird is worth this much hassle.

DZA · Post by **DZA** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:49 pm

So you raped her

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:55 pm

Mate, I remember telling a bird that her ceiling was 'so nice' and 'would she like to stare at it for about 10 minutes?' that night. And, er, in the end, I ended up sleeping with a different bird, in uh, the other birds bedroom...

But, uh, anyway, you're all fucking pussies.

DZA · Post by **DZA** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:58 pm

So youve raped 2 people?

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:02 pm

I don't even think I was coherent enough to unzip my pants, mate. A guess which was verily fortified when I woke up in the morning with my jeans quite soaked...

DZA · Post by **DZA** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:18 pm

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:24 pm

The_Dza88 wrote:So youve raped 2 people?

And like, I got to say im not 100% sure on your tactics there rats lol
Like, ive been on the lookout for 21 years now (erm, okay...I spose the first few probably weren't that active a hunt) and shes the first lass ive ever felt like things would be right with.

...so many reasons i could list off as to why I swear shes speshul, but then that would in fact make me the goddam pussy you just called me...

Ahem.

And mate, drinking doesn't exactly happen around exams

Like, these are proper mother fuckers. Been about 5/6 weeks now of probably 10 hours + revision a day. All life is lol

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:29 pm

Women are all the fucking same, mate, they don't give two shits about your emotions most of the time, and this one seems like she's playing you fucking Texas hold-em style.. I personally find the more 'lovey' you are with birds, the worse.

Just get drunk, glaze your dick in honey, and then tell that bitch that you're the daddy nahhhhhhh'

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:39 pm

I think I can safely place us on opposite ends of the approach-to-relationships spectrum

spooKs · Post by **spooKs** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:46 pm

Wiggle I'm with you, I don't think people like Dead Rats actually exist in society

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:51 pm

lol good to hear. I dont think she could be any less the honey glazed dick daddy type if she tried.

Shes just...lovely

LEQ · Post by **LEQ** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:55 pm

After 21 pages Baron, we need pics matey.

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:56 pm

nah would definnitely be bad. Trying to keep things incognito for her, and just explain my fail

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:57 pm

I try it on with anyone and everything. As long as everyone and everything has a vagina.

'The one' lololol. I got stood up by 'the one' ages ago, and now all I have is just bitterness and self-sympathy for everything romantic.

LEQ · Post by **LEQ** » Sat May 09, 2009 8:57 pm

Haha, probably..

cyberneticghost · Post by **cyberneticghost** » Sat May 09, 2009 9:06 pm

The Wiggle Baron wrote:Mind you, these moments come up quite often between us really lol. Practice chiro technique alot together, and one of the moves we have to learn is a sitting cervical adjustment, where you have to hold their head in both your hands while they sit down, and get in really close while doing so.

*play metal gear solid alert noise*

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

Hey Wiggle Baron, how often does she go to this fortune teller and how seriously does she take the advice?

divanrod · Post by **divanrod** » Sat May 09, 2009 11:06 pm

i have a track record of fucking up 100% of the time dont feel bad

a of dkr · Post by **a of dkr** » Sun May 10, 2009 1:10 am

The Wiggle Baron wrote:Oh blimey

Current state btw is I think im going to talk to her at some point about everything, but no going in for the kill with a kiss etc. Just explain that I think it would be (from my point of view anyway) a massive chance missed for nothing to ever happen.

jesus fucking christ!!! If we were anywhere close to friends i'd be calling u names by now.
She tells you she is not up to a relationship right now and you take it as the golden rule of the universe!! what age are you? not born yet?
U wanna talk about it with her?? again??? Can't u remember how utter useless that was last time?
The woman does NOT want to make the conscious decision of going forward. She needs a push. Women hate making decisions when they´re not absolutely sure about sthg( because their brain won't fucking stop nagging them about it), trust! That's why they love to be "swept off their feet".
If she still likes you even in the tiniest bit, then she´s a fucking keeper because she´s a gulible dreamy really fucking patient one!!!

I keep thinking you want to make a huge and successful thread and at the end laugh at us for falling for it. U cannot possibly, after 20 pages of ppl advising u, comme back and tell us you feel like talking about it with her. Talk about what??? U've got nothing. U will get to "talk about it" after she's ur girfriend and u're having problems that need discussing.
At this stage u do shit.
Like somebody suggested, you needn't be pushy and lick her face, but you should at the very fucking least engage in light kissing and pecking (or similar stuff) at least to keep the tension and the passion going (if it's going strong for u it def doesn't mean it's the same for her, mind u) until those fucking exams you keep insisting are the real reason for this bollocks are over.
I'm sorry if i'm a bit rude, but this is fucking embarassing and stupid, i really feel the need to be honest here.
i'm out of this thread. I don´t even know why I'm here in the first place...
again, sorry.

tronn · Post by **tronn** » Sun May 10, 2009 4:25 am

a of dkr wrote:
The Wiggle Baron wrote:Oh blimey

Current state btw is I think im going to talk to her at some point about everything, but no going in for the kill with a kiss etc. Just explain that I think it would be (from my point of view anyway) a massive chance missed for nothing to ever happen.

jesus fucking christ!!! If we were anywhere close to friends i'd be calling u names by now.
She tells you she is not up to a relationship right now and you take it as the golden rule of the universe!! what age are you? not born yet?
U wanna talk about it with her?? again??? Can't u remember how utter useless that was last time?
The woman does NOT want to make the conscious decision of going forward. She needs a push. Women hate making decisions when they´re not absolutely sure about sthg( because their brain won't fucking stop nagging them about it), trust! That's why they love to be "swept off their feet".
If she still likes you even in the tiniest bit, then she´s a fucking keeper because she´s a gulible dreamy really fucking patient one!!!

I keep thinking you want to make a huge and successful thread and at the end laugh at us for falling for it. U cannot possibly, after 20 pages of ppl advising u, comme back and tell us you feel like talking about it with her. Talk about what??? U've got nothing. U will get to "talk about it" after she's ur girfriend and u're having problems that need discussing.
At this stage u do shit.
Like somebody suggested, you needn't be pushy and lick her face, but you should at the very fucking least engage in light kissing and pecking (or similar stuff) at least to keep the tension and the passion going (if it's going strong for u it def doesn't mean it's the same for her, mind u) until those fucking exams you keep insisting are the real reason for this bollocks are over.
I'm sorry if i'm a bit rude, but this is fucking embarassing and stupid, i really feel the need to be honest here.
i'm out of this thread. I don´t even know why I'm here in the first place...
again, sorry.

This man has a point. Its somewhat dissapointing to find out she didn't want a relationship after all, but she kind of gave off that vibe after she tried to sleep with you like the first time you two hungout

Either way man, Its real hard to create sexual tension by talking about feelings and relationships and boyfriends and setting dates on your calendar for when your going to kiss for the first time, chicks don't work that way.

If youre not going to push the relationship forward physically, they def won't do it, and they'll keep hoping for you to make a move until they get bored and give up. The whole chatting approach may be what's comfortable to you, but whats comfy to you don't seem to be working.

This siutation is fubar. You ought to just forget about this lady concentrate on your tests, take this as learning experience, and start workin on diff ladies.

djelements · Post by **djelements** » Sun May 10, 2009 6:27 am

tronn wrote:
a of dkr wrote:
The Wiggle Baron wrote:Oh blimey

Current state btw is I think im going to talk to her at some point about everything, but no going in for the kill with a kiss etc. Just explain that I think it would be (from my point of view anyway) a massive chance missed for nothing to ever happen.

jesus fucking christ!!! If we were anywhere close to friends i'd be calling u names by now.
She tells you she is not up to a relationship right now and you take it as the golden rule of the universe!! what age are you? not born yet?
U wanna talk about it with her?? again??? Can't u remember how utter useless that was last time?
The woman does NOT want to make the conscious decision of going forward. She needs a push. Women hate making decisions when they´re not absolutely sure about sthg( because their brain won't fucking stop nagging them about it), trust! That's why they love to be "swept off their feet".
If she still likes you even in the tiniest bit, then she´s a fucking keeper because she´s a gulible dreamy really fucking patient one!!!

I keep thinking you want to make a huge and successful thread and at the end laugh at us for falling for it. U cannot possibly, after 20 pages of ppl advising u, comme back and tell us you feel like talking about it with her. Talk about what??? U've got nothing. U will get to "talk about it" after she's ur girfriend and u're having problems that need discussing.
At this stage u do shit.
Like somebody suggested, you needn't be pushy and lick her face, but you should at the very fucking least engage in light kissing and pecking (or similar stuff) at least to keep the tension and the passion going (if it's going strong for u it def doesn't mean it's the same for her, mind u) until those fucking exams you keep insisting are the real reason for this bollocks are over.
I'm sorry if i'm a bit rude, but this is fucking embarassing and stupid, i really feel the need to be honest here.
i'm out of this thread. I don´t even know why I'm here in the first place...
again, sorry.
This man has a point. Its somewhat dissapointing to find out she didn't want a relationship after all, but she kind of gave off that vibe after she tried to sleep with you like the first time you two hungout

Either way man, Its real hard to create sexual tension by talking about feelings and relationships and boyfriends and setting dates on your calendar for when your going to kiss for the first time, chicks don't work that way.

If youre not going to push the relationship forward physically, they def won't do it, and they'll keep hoping for you to make a move until they get bored and give up. The whole chatting approach may be what's comfortable to you, but whats comfy to you don't seem to be working.

This siutation is fubar. You ought to just forget about this lady concentrate on your tests, take this as learning experience, and start workin on diff ladies.

I think a of dkr is a woman. A beautiful one if I remember right.

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