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did wrote:What's 10 inches long, red and makes my wife cry when i feed it to her?











Her miscarriage

omfg thats gold.

I had sex with a minor yesterday.
She gave me 4 bits of coal as thanks.

I beat my wife at dominos the other night
She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.

Coppola wrote:I beat my wife at dominos the other night
She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.

whats the definition of a frenzy?


two blind lesbians in a fish market!!
--------------

why did the dead baby cross the road?


because it was stapled to the chicken!!

apparently Big Joe Fritzel has been let out of prison...





















He's doing community service, teaching the McCanns how to lock a door

My Jamaican friend was very unhappy when I told him about the "shootings". He'd much rather walk barefoot.

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I'm easily lead.

Coppola wrote:My Jamaican friend was very unhappy when I told him about the "shootings". He'd much rather walk barefoot.

Coppola wrote:My Jamaican friend was very unhappy when I told him about the "shootings". He'd much rather walk barefoot.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Coppola wrote:Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I'm easily lead.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in cream and put a cherry on my head, it was tough being brought up in the gateau.

collige wrote:So a baby seal walks into a club...

BBC News: Police find second Moat letter.

It's 'O'

Gotta bump this one.

Priest checks into a hotel, says to the clerk "I hope the porn is disabled" to which she replies "NO its just normal porn you sick bastard"

So she was run over with a car... But what was a car doing...




















in the kitchen?

2nd chance wrote:So she was run over with a car... But what was a car doing...




















in the kitchen?

another version is

"A husband runs over his wife, who is at fault?

The husband, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen"



also

"Why can't women drive?

Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom"

The other day, whilst on the bus to work, some little shit thought it would be funny to burp in my face. All his little chums were sitting there laughing. I restrained myself from taking the kid's head off and calmly replied:

"...eurgh - smells like cock."

that shut the little fucker up. Twat.

minifletch wrote:The other day, whilst on the bus to work, some little shit thought it would be funny to burp in my face. All his little chums were sitting there laughing. I restrained myself from taking the kid's head off and calmly replied:

"...eurgh - smells like cock."

that shut the little fucker up. Twat.

that's fucking brilliant. you're my hero.