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Yesterday my sisters puppy rolled onto is back in front of me so I started to scratch his belly.

All of a sudden he fired a dollop of doggy spunk right into my face hitting me on the chin..........

Fucking rank.

when i was 18, and hadn't washed for ages, like... not washing in general, I still did that, and my hair, but my dad never taught my properly how to wash my ... you know what.

so one day my cock was itching at work, I checked it out in privacy and all i saw where like, yellow chunks, looked like oats, pouring out my bell hole, it reeked. i proper freaked out. turned out it's smegma. I wash alot now.

mc wayne wrote:when i was 18, and hadn't washed for ages, like... not washing in general, I still did that, and my hair, but my dad never taught my properly how to wash my ... you know what.

so one day my cock was itching at work, I checked it out in privacy and all i saw where like, yellow chunks, looked like oats, pouring out my bell hole, it reeked. i proper freaked out. turned out it's smegma. I wash alot now.

People's dads teach them how to wash their cocks?

stappard wrote:

mc wayne wrote:when i was 18, and hadn't washed for ages, like... not washing in general, I still did that, and my hair, but my dad never taught my properly how to wash my ... you know what.

so one day my cock was itching at work, I checked it out in privacy and all i saw where like, yellow chunks, looked like oats, pouring out my bell hole, it reeked. i proper freaked out. turned out it's smegma. I wash alot now.

People's dads teach them how to wash their cocks?

hahahaha

similar to yours only this dog pissed all over my face and right into my mouth....

yes, i can say ive had a golden shower off a dog.

JFK wrote:Yesterday my sisters puppy rolled onto is back in front of me so I started to scratch his belly.

All of a sudden he fired a dollop of doggy spunk right into my face hitting me on the chin..........

Fucking rank.

this thread has the potential to be epic

OP:

The most disgusting thing that I've seen is a tie btwn seeing a video of some girl swallowing like 7 or 8 loads (I gagged even thought it was just a video) and watching my dog eat the placenta from her puppies right after giving birth.

WatchYourStep wrote:OP:

The most disgusting thing that I've seen is a tie btwn seeing a video of some girl swallowing like 7 or 8 loads (I gagged even thought it was just a video) and watching my dog eat the placenta from her puppies right after giving birth.

my dog used to eat the cat shit out the litter tray. whats the matter with them

brasco wrote:

WatchYourStep wrote:OP:

The most disgusting thing that I've seen is a tie btwn seeing a video of some girl swallowing like 7 or 8 loads (I gagged even thought it was just a video) and watching my dog eat the placenta from her puppies right after giving birth.

my dog used to eat the cat shit out the litter tray. whats the matter with them

they're just really hungry

dubluke wrote:

brasco wrote:

WatchYourStep wrote:OP:

The most disgusting thing that I've seen is a tie btwn seeing a video of some girl swallowing like 7 or 8 loads (I gagged even thought it was just a video) and watching my dog eat the placenta from her puppies right after giving birth.

my dog used to eat the cat shit out the litter tray. whats the matter with them

they're just really hungry

Shit on my cock b2b the bed sheets numerous times, I'm not going in to detail again.

I don't personally know the guy, but a mate of someone I know was on holiday somewhere, got completely trolleyed and decided it would be a good idea to stick his head into one of those glass recycling things with the thick plastic flaps that stop stuff from coming back out. He got his head stuck in there so they had to leave him there overnight. When they came back to him in the morning, they found his trousers round his ankles. Turned out he'd got raped in the night.

dubluke wrote:

brasco wrote:

WatchYourStep wrote:OP:

The most disgusting thing that I've seen is a tie btwn seeing a video of some girl swallowing like 7 or 8 loads (I gagged even thought it was just a video) and watching my dog eat the placenta from her puppies right after giving birth.

my dog used to eat the cat shit out the litter tray. whats the matter with them

they're just really hungry

TL_ wrote:I don't personally know the guy, but a mate of someone I know was on holiday somewhere, got completely trolleyed and decided it would be a good idea to stick his head into one of those glass recycling things with the thick plastic flaps that stop stuff from coming back out. He got his head stuck in there so they had to leave him there overnight. When they came back to him in the morning, they found his trousers round his ankles. Turned out he'd got raped in the night.

Fuck.

I once walked in on my mate's 92 year old grandma taking a dump.


Scarred for life.

JFK wrote:

TL_ wrote:I don't personally know the guy, but a mate of someone I know was on holiday somewhere, got completely trolleyed and decided it would be a good idea to stick his head into one of those glass recycling things with the thick plastic flaps that stop stuff from coming back out. He got his head stuck in there so they had to leave him there overnight. When they came back to him in the morning, they found his trousers round his ankles. Turned out he'd got raped in the night.

Fuck.

Shit that ain't funny. Fuck.

NilsFG wrote:

JFK wrote:

TL_ wrote:I don't personally know the guy, but a mate of someone I know was on holiday somewhere, got completely trolleyed and decided it would be a good idea to stick his head into one of those glass recycling things with the thick plastic flaps that stop stuff from coming back out. He got his head stuck in there so they had to leave him there overnight. When they came back to him in the morning, they found his trousers round his ankles. Turned out he'd got raped in the night.

Fuck.

Shit that ain't funny. Fuck.

If it's true.

I've heard that story from a lot of people.

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

NilsFG wrote:

JFK wrote:

TL_ wrote:I don't personally know the guy, but a mate of someone I know was on holiday somewhere, got completely trolleyed and decided it would be a good idea to stick his head into one of those glass recycling things with the thick plastic flaps that stop stuff from coming back out. He got his head stuck in there so they had to leave him there overnight. When they came back to him in the morning, they found his trousers round his ankles. Turned out he'd got raped in the night.

Fuck.

Shit that ain't funny. Fuck.

If it's true.

I've heard that story from a lot of people.

Yeah but that doesn't make it not true. There's loads of stories that people think are rumours but are true

Reminded me of another story I know, but I'll put that up later

I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.