Loneliness spreads like a virus

[2manynoobs]

http://www.livescience.com/culture/0912 ... iends.html

Loneliness, like a bad cold, can spread among groups of people, new research finds.

While a runny nose might spread through handshakes, people likely catch the loneliness bug through negative interactions. A lonely person will be less trusting of others, essentially "making a mountain out of a molehill," said study researcher John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago. An odd look or phrasing by a friend that wouldn't even be noticed by a chipper person could be seen as an affront to the lonely, triggering a cycle of negative interactions that cause people to lose friends.

The upshot: A lonely person is likely to lose touch with another person, who in turn gets cut off from others, and both end up on the fringes of a social group.

"A lonely person who anticipates others are going to act negatively toward them finds evidence in their environment for that, partly because they anticipate it and partly because they elicit it," Cacioppo told LiveScience.

The finding, published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggests that loneliness is not a character trait, as in "that person is such a loner," but more of a state such as hunger, which evolved as a cue to motivate our ancestors to go find food.

"We're fundamentally a social species so we need others with whom we can cooperate and work," Cacioppo said. As such, loneliness may have been a cue to look out for anyone who might ostracize you, he added.

Counting friends

The results come from a study of more than 5,000 individuals who took part in the Framingham Heart Study between 1991 and 2001. Every two to four years, subjects completed questionnaires that measured depression and loneliness, gave their medical history and underwent a physical examination.

For instance, participants indicated how often during the previous week they had experienced a particular feeling, including loneliness, with four possible answers: 0–1 days, 1-2 days, 3-4 days and 5-7 days.

Participants also indicated friends and relatives, many of whom also took part in the study.

From this information, the researchers pieced together social networks showing connections between each individual and the average number of lonely days for the participant and that person's links.

Loneliness spreads

They found loneliness is catchy with three degrees of separation. So a person's loneliness depended not just on his friend's loneliness but also on his friend's friend and his friend's friend's friend. Participants were 52 percent more likely to be lonely if a person to whom they were directly connected (one degree of separation) was lonely. For two degrees of separation, the number drops to 25 percent and 15 percent for three degrees.

The number of family members had no effect on loneliness scores.

Over time, lonely individuals become lonelier and transmit such feelings to others before severing ties. "People with few friends are more likely to become lonelier over time, which then makes it less likely that they will attract or try to form new social ties," they write. Such friendless individuals ended up on the outskirts of their social networks.

Loneliness has been linked with various mental and physical illnesses, including depression. And so the findings could have practical implications. "Society may benefit by aggressively targeting the people in the periphery to help repair their social networks and to create a protective barrier against loneliness that can keep the whole network from unraveling," Cacioppo said.

[Neurotik]

Real interesting stuff, kind of ashamed to say this is applicable to me atm after becoming increasingly distant from friends since september which has triggered off quite abit of social anxiety which i haven't experienced for a good couple of years . It does lead me to make interpretations of social situations quite diffently to how i would have done say last year which can lead to me to become quite avoidant and purposefully distant after making some stupid misinterpreatation of an event as small as you could imagine. I think another thing interesting to look at that influences this stuff quite alot is schemas and "life traps" which are extremely rigid patterns programmed into people and shapes how they view the world giving them an inability for differential learning which basically means instead of seeing new situations as new situations they see them in the context of the past leading them to try and live out what they see as the past in a more fulfilling way (quite related to the psychodynamic idea of transference), which means people will misinterpret the present in terms of the past and wind up reliving those initial experiences that could be related to lonliness etc. and ultimately reinforcing them.

[Pedro Sánchez]

I have always been on the fringes of social groups and consider myself a bit of a loner and often find myself having to justify why I like my own company, it doesn't bother me that I have less than 10 people I call 'friends' who I have known pretty much most my life and see most of them maybe only once a week but as an observer of large social groups, I witness nothing but jealousy and envy of each other within these groups and the larger the group, the worst backstabbing becomes. People these days often view each other as commodities and if nothing can be gained by introducing another member into the group they often don't. The amount of times I hear people say "you should meet my new friend, he/she is really funny" or "he/she is really cool and is into (insert latest) trend " but I have rarely heard "he/she likes totally different things to us and has opposite opinions but they are around our age live near-by and might like some company".

[ketamine]

I have rarely heard "he/she likes totally different things to us and has opposite opinions but they are around our age live near-by and might like some company".

[nicenice]

It seems groups of 'friends' these day are not really friends just people thrown together due to circumstances. The amount of people I know that are prone to backstabbing and bitching behind each others backs yet see each other whenever they can. I think everyone who lives in the city is prone to lonliness unless you're pretty confident.

[2manynoobs]

yup, agree with all that has been said here.
Friendships are not really profound these days, imo. And to have a good friend relationship, with giving and receiving the same amount of love (talking about friendly love here aight) is very very hard to find. I always find that people think too much of themselves. They are more likely to eat their last bite of cookie themselves then to give it to their hungry friend. (and when they do decide to give a piece of cooky then it is because of peer pressure or something like that, well at least in my school). While i always try to share most of the stuff because it's more fun tot experience things together then if you were alone. Can't understand why not many other people understand that..

And I don't really understand why this happens. People = social beings. We are programmed to be in group, to be together. Maybe it's the society, the rules, money, ...

[nicenice]

I know so many people that I see all the time etc. but if I wanted to be pedantic I would only call a few friends. I think about it quite a lot, what makes a friend and its quite sad. People just want to get one up on other people these days it seems, or know more people to rid themselves of insecurity. Thats what I think it comes down too now.

[helix]

Everybody's my friend. I just like to be nice to people, golden rule etc.

[mc wayne]

well it's too late for me, I dont have any RL friends

[helix]

well it's too late for me, I dont have any RL friends

You've got us.

[mc wayne]

Everybody's my friend. I just like to be nice to people, golden rule etc.

even when you're in a ratty mood?

[mc wayne]

well it's too late for me, I dont have any RL friends

You've got us.

troo,
i've been an introvert all my life

[Pedro Sánchez]

well it's too late for me, I dont have any RL friends

You've got us.

troo,
i've been an introvert all my life

I don't see that as a bad thing, to me that shows you don't have an agenda to gain acceptance because of a subconscious insecurity that is brought about by social programming.

[2manynoobs]

Everybody's my friend. I just like to be nice to people, golden rule etc.

being nice to people isn't good enough. You have to feel them, feel their pain, happyness or whatever. That's when you are a real friend to some one.

[helix]

Everybody's my friend. I just like to be nice to people, golden rule etc.

being nice to people isn't good enough. You have to feel them, feel their pain, happyness or whatever. That's when you are a real friend to some one.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I enjoy being there for people, etc.

[2manynoobs]

Everybody's my friend. I just like to be nice to people, golden rule etc.

being nice to people isn't good enough. You have to feel them, feel their pain, happyness or whatever. That's when you are a real friend to some one.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I enjoy being there for people, etc.

well then you are enlightened. congratz to you mate

[incnic]

hay guys
brohugs all around


being lonely is bad. little bit of human contact goes along way imo
lets go to a rave

[2manynoobs]

[clifford_-]

this is too deep

[JFK]

well it's too late for me, I dont have any RL friends

Why?